Posted by BarbaraCat on October 22, 2002, at 20:34:29
In reply to Lucid Description » BarbaraCat, posted by Ponder on October 22, 2002, at 19:06:06
Hi Ponder,
Yes, taking a benzo prophylactically seems to be the key in heading off a mixed state. I definitely think that anxiety is the trigger that sets off the whole cascade for me. I too used to sail through anxious situations and was very much an adventurous spirit who relished the 'aliveness' in dicey situations. I was confident of my ability to find a way through or out of any thing. Even though I was going through depressions during this time, I wasn't the scaredy cat I've since become.Sometimes I think that the bipolar manifested itself more black and white back then and my high times were bordering on mania and my depressions were the standard variety. Now the spectrum has blurred toward the middle and anxiety has become excrutiating and debilitating. The reason I don't think it's one of the anxiety disorders is because of the sheer violence and terror in the black hole. My fears become very vivid and fueled by the mixed states nightmarish quality. I used to wonder if it was a schizoid disorder, but it's too cyclical and besides, Lamictal seems to be doing the trick.
Hopefully a respite from psychic trauma courtesy of the right meds will reset the fear circuits and allow me to rediscover that sense of adventure, faith, and self confidence.
Please tell me your experience with mixed states. Sometimes I feel pretty alone and kinda weird with this dx. - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:31636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021019/msgs/124773.html