Posted by MrRatt on July 26, 2002, at 14:40:52
Hi,
Before I start a flame war from concerned message board members, let me explain my subject heading...For as long as I can remember, I've been an extremely nervous and "emotionally dead" individual. I usually shy away from situations that require an emotional response, whether that be confronting someone when I feel that I've been victimized (Anger) or being honest with my feelings in an intimate situation (Love). Rather than allow myself to experience such emotions, I can feel my nervousness level skyrocket. As a self-defense mechanism in such situations, I usually become hostile and abrasive to others. Now to the issue of recreational drugs ...
It wasn't until I experimented with ecstasy that I began the process of seeking help. I started researching the drug and looking for medications that could benefit me in much the same way. From that research, I went to my school counselor and requested a prescription for an SSRI (Starting with Paxil). After giving Paxil 4 weeks with little improvement (And quite a few side-effects), I went back and inquired about Effexor XR (Even though my ecstasy research mentioned nothing about the norepinephrine neurotransmitter). Luckily, Effexor has proven to be of some benefit (150 mg's). My sense of pessism towards everything has lifted slightly and my level of nervousness has decreased sharply. I still, however, suffer from a complete lack of motivation. Now on to my question ...
Last week I experimented with crystal methamphetamine. This drug releases huge amounts of dopamine into the brain. The "high" I experienced on this drug was nothing like I've ever felt before. I felt incredibly open (Actually hugging the friends I was with), motivated (To the point of doing homework when I got home), and filled with a sense of happiness and belonging. I'm afraid to talk to my counselor about this since I receive scholarships/free meds/etc. Should I inquire about Wellbutrin? Thanks for your help.
poster:MrRatt
thread:113832
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020725/msgs/113832.html