Posted by deli on July 22, 2002, at 15:41:57
It has been two months since this madness began with most unrelenting vengeance. I have been trying hard to do everything in my power to keep a positive outlook and not let negativity take a hold of who I am. But God, I have so changed, I am not even a shadow of my old self. I look at people and see them how they easily carry on with their lives and feel such jealousy. I am so tired of living like this. I have nothing to give. I don't even feel anything for my children whom two months ago I adored. Everyone else seems so happy. So full of life and dreams. I just pray to God to end it for me. I don't mind dying as long as I don't take the pain with me. I am tired of doctors, medications, vitamins, books, newsgroups, forced smiles, waking up, eating, make-up, happy people,walking around the house. I just want to sleep. I really think I am not going to get well. Maybe better but never like I was before , a self confident, go-getter, relaxed, loving mother and wife who loved her house her children and her husband. I am just writing this because I need to let it all out as I cry. Has anyone really been cured of this or are we going to be reading each others posts in ten years. I am sorry for being so negative but I really can't take it anymore. I'm done.
poster:deli
thread:113290
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020718/msgs/113290.html