Posted by Sally green on June 12, 2002, at 18:12:41
In reply to hello everyone i have not had the honor to meet, posted by reese1 on June 12, 2002, at 11:35:38
Hi Reese:
Sorry to hear that things seem so gloomy. One thing I will say and I won't start preachin' to you. I have been addicted to food, alcohol, opiates, work you name it. God has a great plan for every one of us my brother. If you have alot of time on your hands, start reading the bible. I have prayed to God to help with these addictions and he has. I have lost 100 pounds and kept it off for over 6 years. Stopped drinking 6 years ago and have not had a sip since. Started that bogis detox 16 weeks ago and have atleast not done any Oxy's. Alot of it is behavioral modification, self control, balance! we need all of these things and when you think about it, how many people do you know who live and practice these three?
You sound very creative. Get back into that!!!! Maybe your life's path is to write lyrics for these cool Christian rock bands like CREED! You never know. Don't let people, these insincere doctors or anything make you believe that God has anything than the best for your life.
At almost 40 years of age, I still do not have a direction for my life. I have earned several college degrees, a drunk and drug user, 4.0 QPA's. I have begun to believe that maybe the plan for my life is to help addicts. Preach and teach addicts. Help them discover the reasons for why they abuse themselves with drugs and alcohol. I realize, that as a child and teenager, I was given alot of love but no discpline. NOT GOOD! Have to discipline children. Tuff Italian pop! Raise your kids until they are about 13 and then you have to trust that they will do the right things. BULL! That's when they need your guidance the most. BUT, no blame here! When I was growing up there was not the info on drugs and alcohol like today. My parents really got handed the test of their lives and came through it pretty well. I believe that God will use all of these addictions to make a wonderful savior out of me and that I will help others who will experience these problems in the future and God knows there will be alot of those folks.
Anyway, I do know people who have mixed emotions about the Buprenex. Have not talked to people who experienced the dislike that you claim. Or did you say that you like it??? Seemed like you were alittle indifferent. Need to find a caring, professional who will monitor your progress and structure a program that will give you the correct amount. There area alot of sites about depression and Buprenex. Seems that many people have great success. You appear to be taking alot of prescribed meds. Maybe one of those are forcing the Buprenex to affect you in a less than desireable way??? There are also many sites to find info on the mixing of buprenex and other drugs, such as the ones you named, and the possible side effects. Have you checked the sites that offer info on the mixing of the drugs that you stated? This is only my uneducated opinion and I say this with the deepest and sincerest compassion, but maybe if you were not taking all of these drugs you would be alot happier. You say that there was a time when you felt very well. What were you taking then? I have been taking vitamins for a long time and have found that many natural remedies will help with depression, pain, mood, sleep, just about everything. Doctors are just prescribing sooooo many drugs, because they are not in your shoes. But, to feel the way you do and be taking all of these meds???? Maybe you need to get off of some of that crap!! Beleive me though, I know where you are coming from. It is truly an agonizing thing! Trying to find a doctor who has the TIME to listen and learn about your exact needs and problems is tough. I think that they just put so many of us in one basket and think because this regimen works for this person it will wotk for all. However, as I said, nutrition factors, vitamins and many other aspects must be looked upon and our doctors today do not seem to have the time for all of that. They just want to send you off with another pill, usually the current one that the drug rep is promoting and hope that it works for you too!
Good luck. Please keep writing. We can all learn from one another!!
Peace
Sally> hello,
>
> it's been some time since i have posted. i read some of sally green's posts and found them very intresting and full of rage and pain which i found to be very very appropriate. my expierence with buprenex was so inconsistent and confusing i don't know what to say. one day it seemed to work. the next nothing. one day it would make me, at least to other's eyes, manic, others sad.
>
> i know it seemed to have some speed effect on me. a feeling like staying up all night drinking and sleping three or four hours. and you wake up with all that sugar running in your system. buprenex made me feel like that. but even that was better than regular.
>
> so where am i now? nowhere else.
>
> when i read that they were going to finally "legalize" buprenex without iv i thought that is great. to me anything is great. medications are to the point where they are beyond laughable. it's a cyclical fuck you that goes around and around, through the pens of the doctors, the rules of the MDA, and the companies of creating. adn when it is finally complete. complete meaning something we are not allowed ot understand. we can run like little children to the candy store, hoping, praying, for this one to help us breathe freely, walk easily, think hopefullly, anything but living in this cracked broken museum. where everyone's make up has worn off, showers are broken, clocks tick louder and thicker each day. each and everyone's eyes glue to the hands that turn the dial of time that we are trapped into being a part of. please pill give me the ability to just walk out side. please pill give the power to pick up the phone. please pill give me the power to stop this pounding that wants nothing more than for me to chope myself in two. please pill make me what i used to be. please pill just give me a day full of silence where i am not scared of everything but my shadow. since it has disapeered long times ago.
>
>
> i take
> lithium
> neurontin
> adderall
> risperdal
> clonzapan
> celexa
>
>
> they help. but i wake up each day with nothing to do. i can't work. if i did work i would fuck up my SSI disability. which i was just rejected so i ahve to appeal. i went through five tests of there's. flunking each one but still they denied me.
>
> what works? i don't know
>
> what doesn't work? i know tha much better
>
> i feel for everyone who writes here. it has only been ten years since i was forced to join the pill army. since then there have been ups and downs. now there is nothng. a numbness. that is all. if something hits me. a feeeling. it seems to be addressed by everything but me. but still i have the feeling of wanting to cry. and that has not been blackked out yet. i used to write five hundred poems a year on my computer. i looked under 2001 and there were maybe twenty. and they were bad. i wrote one play and twenty poems.
>
> i hate writing. you have nothing around you but the pile of weight you sit on which is connected only to you. the one thing you want to get away from
>
> that is why i have always found my deepest and most pounding drug to be acting. if only i could find another part. for those three four months i am free. nothing hurts as much as now.
>
>
> sorry for the long rambling pompous letter
>
> good luck everyone
>
> and i hope for whatever' sakes buprenex becomes legalized. it's all a bunch of bullshit anyway. in terms of what get's approved and what doesn't.
poster:Sally green
thread:93100
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020609/msgs/109616.html