Posted by Lateralis on May 2, 2002, at 14:42:44
What prompted me to wake up and get my own mental health in order was that I wanted to share my life with the man that I love. I want us to have a future together, and so does he. Where my problems go just as far as depression and anxiety, I know I just posted a few moments ago, his seem to go way deeper than that, and I have no idea what to do. A little background on him would be that he has be diagnosed with depression, but he also heard voices, I don't know what they diagnosed him as with that, "schizoaffective" maybe? Anyways, he hasn't heard voices since he was 17 or so, also the last time he took any meds since he believed he could handle everything on his own. I met him when he was 21. He hasn't always been like this in our relationship, it seems to come and go, this time it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. These are a few of his symptoms:
-irrational thoughts, as in seeing images in his mind of mass murders, suicide, etc. he once imagined how many cars it would take to hit him before he died if he opened the door while going down a freeway
-complete loss of of love/caring - he doesnt give a damn about anything in the world, not me, not his parents, not himself, not the bills. this is where the next one comes into play..
-can't hold down a job, or stick with anything.
-lies, and lies, and lies, and lies. Not huge lies, like he slept with someone else, but small lies, and they're all the time. Is this a personality trait or something else?
-huge mood swings, mad for no reason, never happy, sad for no reason
-sleeps all the time
This is just a small example of some of the things going on. He also gets suicidal at times, feels like he has to punish himself, or hurt himself. If I cry he feels like he has to be punished for hurting me. He can't support me because he doesn't care, because he can't, etc. It's taking quite a toll on us, and especially on him. I really want to help him. I'm lucky because I have insurance (my mom's) and can go to a doc. He went to a free clinic and they gave him Zoloft and Remeron for the side effects, this didn't seem to work really well. The Zoloft ran out before he could get in to see the doctor again so we're back to square one. He doesn't feel like they really listened to him and gave him the right, or enough meds, for what was going on, so he's skeptical of the free clinic, but we can't afford a doc. We're stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you can offer any advice, or any thoughts on what might be going on with him, please let me know. We live in the Houston, Tx area, if you know of any alternatives to the free clinics. I also want to know how I can help him, how do I support him or be there for him? what can I do to make things easier for him? Thanks a lot.