Posted by OldSchool on March 24, 2002, at 22:41:18
Ive made up my mind that Im going to do ECT soon. I should have had it years ago. All I have to do is get my BP meds adjusted this week and then talk to my shrink about a shock doc consult. The bad thing is that I found out that they took the ECT unit out of the local hospital I was planning on having it done at. So now I have basically three options to have ECT at, two of them at teaching hospitals. And this means I will have to go inpatient for a while which I DO NOT LIKE. My psychiatrist doesnt want me inpatient for ECT he doesnt think I need to be inpatient at all, says I dont fit in there, etc.
Ive decided Im not going to waste my time with wussy unilateral ECT Im going to go with the real deal bilateral or bifrontal ECT. I already have it planned out what I want my shock doc to do. IM not going to agree to it unless my insurance company preapproves me for AT LEAST 10 ECT sessions, preferably 12. Because I have read that anything less than 10 to 12 sessions it wont hold and thus a total waste of time.
Im actually beginning to look forward to it believe it or not. I cant believe it, but ECT actually looks fun to me. I remember what rTMS was like, that was OK. There was one point where the rTMS had kind of a breakthrough effect, where I was sitting on this pier at Folly Beach in Charleston, SC watching dolphins swim in the ocean and everything started looking three dimensional again, colors started looking vibrant again. I was starting to get out of depression. But it pooped out after only a few hours. Big bummer. Im expecting this same effect with ECT only much stronger effect. I think I kinda already know what to expect somewhat from the rTMS experience. Just with ECT it will probably be WAY stronger.
I want a psychiatrist to see me for the first time normal. NO psychiatrist anywhere has seen me what I was like before depression hit me in late 97. When I was a healthy, non depressed, normal person. All theyve ever seen is the depressed me. They never have even seen the health me before.
Ive also come to the realization I could care less about memory loss side effects. I already cant remember diddly from my depression.
Honestly, ECT looks fun to me now. I enjoyed rTMS, it made my eyes water a little after each session but that was the only side effect. I think I will enjoy ECT as much as rTMS. rTMS is so wussy...I hope ECT is like a bazooka treatment for depression.
Old School
poster:OldSchool
thread:99962
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020322/msgs/99962.html