Posted by JahL on December 8, 2001, at 20:40:05
In reply to Re: Methadone for depression. » JahL, posted by shelliR on December 8, 2001, at 14:31:27
> > I think Methadone low-dose is helping a little. Now I've got the green (in both senses of the word) light.......
> do you have enough of a source for you to be secure in knowing that if it works, it will be there for you?
Ultimately, yes. When I get my ass into gear I'm pretty determined/resourceful. Actually, my er...pharmacist is on holiday at the mo' and I'm not going to raise the dose above 5ml until supply is g'teed for the foreseeable future. If I took the trouble to look, there are probably a few 'pharmacies' around.
> And will you see this guy again to see how the new med combo works? Is he still your doctor?
Doubt it. It was a one-off referral apparently and it seems my regular pdoc will administer his directions. Whenever he can get round to it. It would be too much to hope to see someone that good more than once. Since we hit it off I probably would've consulted him again but I've pretty much exhausted all the legal options (and many less than legal) he has at his disposal. A case of right person, wrong time.
> What does this mean: PS I'm still technically at the DP unit so I'll keep you abreast of any developments.
> Are you physically in the hospital, or does unit mean your file is still being kept in the huge bureaucratic UK system at a certain specialty and they may continue to treat you?
The DP Unit is the Depersonalisation Unit at the Maudsley, which I am becoming increasingly aware of as being very psychotherapy (Eck!) orientated. I recently cancelled an appt (car crash) & they're *yet* to get back to me. F*ck 'em. No matter how bad my depression gets, I will *never* enter hospital. When I'm that bad the last thing I want is people round me (I think you're similar?). I only go to hospitals for 1 hr consultations and that's plenty for me.
> Its hard to translate the UK system from over here.
Try and explain this. Yesterday, when I had run out of Lamotrigine, I put in an urgent request for a refill (to my GP - Primary Doc?). Just before the practise closed I got a scrap of paper saying "no Lamotrigine until confirmation from specialist" (even tho' he had prescribed it a no. of times previous). It would seem none of the *3* specialists had bothered to write and tell him I was on 400mg Lamot. This guy I had known for years was ready to abruptly pull me off high dose anti-seizure meds thus putting me at risk of dangerous seizure and w/o doubt plunging me into an acutely suicidal depression. I don't know whether I should forgive him for this. I quite like him but that was inexcusable. Grossly negligent perhaps.
I think someone in my family warned him to phone me; I had my 'gloves' & car keys & was about to drive down and show him what I think of people who put my life at risk (and I don't think that's exaggerating the case. As for my intentions I can't excuse them but I sometimes have a lethal temper >:-( ). Fortunately a half hour phone call sorted it and I'm still a free man :-)
> I don't know if there is much of a difference in how I feel between methadone and oxycontin. It's more that my doctor is telling me that it "should last for at least 12 hours and it's lasting for only 8 hours. And it was a bad time to switch because it's the busy season until christmas with my business. So with the oxy, he was allowing me to take an extra dose at night and now he is fighting that.
I must thank you for suggesting spreading the dose; things seem quite calm and smooth. I thought it lasted 24hrs; whatever they say it is, it's probably less. I have a pet theory (actually I just this minute rolled a spliff and dreamt it up) that Methadone users are misinformed re: Methadone half-life so as to punish users for a couple of hours prior to their next dose for daring to be addicted to something that makes them feel good (H). I mean, who do they think they are??!
> It's all so crazy with this pdoc.
Tell me about a pdoc who makes life simple and I'll call you a liar :)
> I mean who's taking the med, him or me. It doesn't make me high at all, so way would I say it's wearing off too soon if it wasn't. It just means that I have more rebound depression in the morning.
Doesn't Meth get you through the night? Do you get more rebound because you miss out on the immediate high you get from Oxy (do you have any idea what I'd give for a pot of that? If you think it's hard getting opiates in the States, try living over here. Opiate is an obscene word, especially after 'Dr Death' aka Dr Harold Shipman was found to have been addicted to PETHEDINE-Elizabeth, if you're reading, know anything about this one?-whilst murdering maybe 500 patients with Diamorphine. Even you insular Yanks ( :-) ) must have heard about this one a year or 2 ago.)?
>I already went through that and settled it with oxycontin and now he is again saying your at the highest level, etc. etc. And I say what is the plan, and he has none. I think it would have been better to start with methadone because the increases in doses would have been so much smaller and I could have started so low. I am taking 110mg, but the oxy had gotten me really high up in mg.
You mean start like I have? I guess you'd have to come off the opioids for a while to do that? Doesn't sound like an option for you...
Are you saying that yr present Meth dose doesn't get you through the day? I hope not cos that f***** should raise it to whatever feels comfortable. I don't think you can work that out on a bit of paper...
> Anyway, I am a wreak, I need a new pdoc, but yes, the methadone, even with this guy, is better than no opiates without this guy.
Well that's something. I feel the same generally. The pdoc is almost a luxury so long as you get the meds *you* (& you only) know to help. That's the best thing to come out of this referral; I've basically got a regular pdoc who's been instructed to give me almost anything I want. I don't care for his opinion any more. It's thanks in great part to this board that I was able to convince the Good Professor that I was capable of running my own care (or at least more able than a provincial pdoc).
> Keep us informed.
>After Christmas I hope to turn into a person again.
I'm less hopeful for myself but that would be a great present 4 you.
(sorry for the length-lack of a therapist to talk to y'see :) )