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TANKING ON BUPE - Zo's Answer

Posted by Zo on September 25, 2001, at 0:37:29

In reply to Re: TANKING ON BUPE - help » Zo, posted by SLS on September 23, 2001, at 19:27:21

Thanks from the heart to all who kept good, faithful company over Death Weekend. I pass on the gories, you never know what might come in handy. . .

Well, In case anyone wants a really stinking test for Bipolar II, see if you feel really, really good, not "manic," not supergrl, just niiiice, on Vicodin after a surgery. Whoa, you must have an opiate depression! So your pdoc Rxs Bupenorphine as an improvement, and that feels *really* nice. The way you've always wanted. The way life was meant to be. Good days that roll into another. You start painting again. The light is beautiful. . . .

And three weeks later to the day, you find yourself planning how the car fits in the garage, and who gets what note. . .

and you somehow conceive to email your pdoc hourly updates all weekend long.

And on Monday, when it abates, when it is all over and you are very tired and he calls you in the evening, he describes the most incredible array of emails. Depression, he says, is flat, and dull. On Saturday you were were furious, you were driven, you were despair itself.

I remembered, he says, when we tried Lamictal in '97 and you went bonkers every week, a year later I came across a reference of that poor interaction.

So I think the thing to do,he says, now that we know *your* mania is just plain nice, and grounded, and slow, is to focus on the mood stabilizers. And there's no reason not to expect Lamictal to work."

So this is the way the world ends. With neither bang nor whimper, not this time, but only surcease. Genuine reason to hope, from suffering comes clarity, not an ending at all but just. . .what everyone wants. More life.

With a little help from my friends,

Zo


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