Posted by susan C on August 11, 2001, at 13:22:29
In reply to Help ! Rocky patch ..., posted by sweetmarie on August 11, 2001, at 10:48:46
Hi sweetie,
If you were me and I were you, i would be feeling the same things. I have noticed 'triggering' or 'kindling' by my environment. Does your hospital/coverage have a social worker to check in on you regularly so you can make a 'transition' back to home? Be kind to your self. Pick somethings that are special to recreate a good atmosphere for you in your old place. Pat your self on the back for all the very hard work you have done. I know this things don't make any difference to what is going on in your brain, but, a hot bubble bath is a real nurturing thing. If the hospital isn't set up for monitoring you after you leave, is the doctor? are your parents? You know 'we' are always here...at least I am here, checking in each day. Fill your place with flowers, pull the shades, open the windows, pet the cat, turn on the music, loud, dance with happy feet, even if you aren't happy, demand attention. Eat a piece of the most delectiable thing you can find...chocolate? cheese cake? A very ripe tomato? a peach?
A wave and cyber hug from the western hemisphere.
-s
> hi
>
> I`ve just got back home after being discharged from hospital, where I`ve been for 4 months now.
>
> I was started on Mirtazapine/Venlafaxine/Lamotragine after 3 weeks in hospital. So, in total, I`ve been on this combination for 13 weeks. However, I`ve only been on `top dose` Venlafaxine (375 mg - as high as my consultant wants to take it) for 8 weeks. Over the time that I`ve been in hospital, my mood has been gradually improving from rock bottom (what I describe as `0 out of 10`) to better than that - i.e. about 3 out of 10 average (I find it easier to `log` my mood in numerical terms). Last w/end was a bit of a `breakthrough`, I felt, and I actually woke up 2 days in a row feeling O.K. as opposed to totally cruddy and wanting to stay in bed all day.
>
> However, this past week has been very difficult, and my mood has been very low. Today is hideous.
>
> There`s lots going on for me, though, not least leaving the `safety` of hospital, where I was being monitored and talked to on a regular basis (the nurse/patient contact is quite intense there). Obviously, I`ve left behind friends that I have made over the past months.
>
> Also, I now have the prospect of going back to living alone again - I`ve been staying at my parents` place on my `home leaves`. I am also aware that I need to motivate myself to do things now - I won`t have nurses/doctors/parents to do this for me. If I don`t keep up some kind of activity/social contact, I am more likely to find myself `back` where I was. My flat is where I was when my illness was at it`s worst, and I associate it with those times. To be quite honest, I`m feeling VERY scared and anxious about the whole thing.
>
> So, I`m facing `the rest of my life`, if you see what I mean. Nightmare.
>
> Could this be the reason behind my drop in mood? I felt that I was actually getting somewhere prior to this last week.
>
> I was told by the consultant treating me that some people experience a `sudden` lift in mood, whereas others experience a more gradual shift (especially where the illness has been severe and protracted). I know from experience that medication can take quite a while to `work` fully, and would be reluctant to alter things just now. My consultant feels the same way.
>
> So, I suppose that I`m after some reassurance ...
>
> ... if anyone can help me out here I`d be most grateful. I`m experiencing a *real* loss of faith, and feel totally discouraged.
>
> Please help if you can.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Anna.
poster:susan C
thread:74612
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010809/msgs/74626.html