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Get comfy...I've got a mini series pending:o)

Posted by yo-wazzzup on June 24, 2001, at 13:57:48

In reply to CeCe , posted by dana on June 24, 2001, at 8:11:23

(sigh) Hi Dana,
I'm 29. SWF. Mother of 2. My daughter is 9. My son is 7.5 months. Come from a long line of...unstable individuals. My Grandmother has been hospitalized several x (she see's things that aren't there,etc.). She's afraid of people & goes out of her home 2 times per year (if that).My Mom & her 3 sisters have all been or are currently medicated for anxiety/depression,etc. My Dad talked my mom out of taking meds. when I was a baby b/c he believes they're band-aids & don't really help. I grew up in a disfuntional home (who didn't?). Mother depressed/ rage-aholic. No drug or alcohol abuse in the home but verbal, mental & physical abuse ran rampid behind closed doors. Father was a work-aholic. When he was home, he was usually repromanding us for what ever upset Mom during the week. I have a brother that is 2 years older. He's a career criminal. Lots of juvenile crap, his first 'pen bit was 4 shooting an unknown homosexual "just to see what it was like". Fortunately the guy lived. He was shot once in each shoulder & @ the base of the neck. There's still a piece of shrapnel that cannot be surgically removed @ the base of his neck. The crime was pre-meditated the target was 'just there'. He got off attempt murder b/c he had a good LIAR. He claims to have only wanted to shoot tail lights out of cars & to be high on various drugs @ the time. They forgot to mention he sawed off the shot gun 5 minutes before putting shoe polish on his face & leaving the house. Neglected to state that he was a trophy winning shooting range cadet in air cadets when he was little. He was 18 when he threw his life away. He has been in & out of prison on various assaults, thiefts ,etc. He's a coconut(cocaine junkie). I don't associate w/him. Me...I was taken away from parents @ 13b/c of abuse issues. Juggled from foster home 2 foster home . Abused in care (by brother sexually, by foster parents emotionally/verbally,etc.). Chronic runner. To this day parents claim I ran away 2 children's aid, was not aprehended for anything they did wrong,hmmmmm? I was born in Ontario, Canada. Raised in Wpg, Manitoba. Lived in SEVERAL cities across canada since 17 yrs.old. Her's the juicy stuff. I've had 4 changes of I.D. because of a stalker. He unlawfully confined me for 9 hours & tortured me beyond belief during that time. He claims if he can't have me no one will. No, I'm not in witness protection, I wouldn't co-operate w/police out of stupidity & fear for my daughter's life. One of the arresting officers Stalked me after my release from hosp. & women's shelter & sexually assaulted me. There was an internal invest. but the investigators convinced me not to press charges as it would be too difficult 4 me to go through 2 trials @ once (I'm sure they had MY best interest @ heart). The officer received a repromand.I've been running ever since ... It goes much deeper but I'm skimming for y'all. I've legally changed I.D.'s 3x & went underground 4 a year waiting 4 the govn't to lift a moratorium on the process of securing an unlinked I.D.My cousin commited suicide 2 yrs ago. She was taking anti-depressants. My family has dis-owned me for various reasons. I wasn't supposed 2 let then in on any of the id things but, I did...I couldn't bear the thought of them thinking I was dead. Well, should've left it @ them thinking I was dead b/c that's how I'm viewed. Blood isn't thicker than water in my family. Fear of the unknown particularly my situation with the stalker is not the least of which. Dis - belief in the whole ordeal. Even though they eithere saw my magled body after of saw copies of charge papers...My life seems like a bad movie. No - one can have that much bad luck,right? What ever. (sigh) I didn't have a crimminal record up until 2 months or so ago. I'm facing thieft under $5000.00 x 2 for events I have NO recollection of. (more details in previous posts). This is the first time I've actualy stuck it out with meds. & this is the ummm, thanks I get,hmmm? That's a whole other story though. I have PTSD, & post pardom depression. I'm getting assessed for the first time in 10 years by a psychiatrist on the 5th. I'm commit phobic. Haven't laid down serious roots EVER. I'm a wreck.I have serious trust issues. I pray each day my kids don't aquire mental issues. I wonder what kind of an example they see in me. I'm an awesome Mom-most of the time. Sometimes I see the rage-aholic (my mom) come out in me. Family, I wish my babies had extended family. I'm all they have. It saddens me to see my daughter long for a father she'll never know.(between us, she's the product of a rape)...Her little face drops when other kids brag about their Grandma's & Grandpa's. Well, I'm depressing myself here. I'm sure Im not putting smiles on anyone elses face. Sorry. At this piont in my life there aren't many Uplifting thoughts. My children are my life. I wish I could provide more for them.My life's moto...EXPERIENCE IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU DIDN'T GET WHAT YOU WANTED. ;O)


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:yo-wazzzup thread:67535
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010618/msgs/67677.html