Posted by JahL on May 16, 2001, at 13:36:46
In reply to Re: Reward Deficit Syndrome.long » JahL, posted by Ann NY on May 15, 2001, at 22:37:48
> > Wow, I guess I completely miss read your original post. You said you were suicidal and I believed you. Now I know.
Sarcasm has no place on this board.
I *am* suicidal. Just because I am not sitting here slitting my wrists, *doesn't* me I don't harbour intense suicidal feelings.
> >Love isn't meds
Didn't say it was.
> >isn't that part of the problem, nothing fazes you??
No, it means that I can reason or rationalise most things, so they do not become an 'issue' with me. If I said 'everything fazes me', you'd probably be telling me *that's* my problem. Which is it?
> > I'm sure she was a very loving mother, I never meant to suggest anything less. However, personally, I couldn't image the demands of raising a family while depressed!
That's yr experience. Let's leave her out of this. I understand yr point but trust me, her problems did not contribute to my own. Besides I didn't say she was depressed per se, just that she is mood-unreactive.
> > You said meds aren't making you happy and you've never once been truly happy.
No, I said I've only ever been happy *on* meds (however briefly). Where does this leave yr argument?
I've been misdiagnosed in the past & was prescribed drugs contraindicated for my condition. Now I'm (just recently) on mood-stabilizers, my condition seems to be improving a little by the day, & we haven't finished adding meds yet.
> > > >I stump them, but can dismantle *their* personalities with ease. In the end it became a kinda sport.
> > I never suggested you augment your ego needs by proving to a psychiatrist that you were smarter than him/her.
They shouldn't attempt to bedazzle me with their so-called intelligence in the first place. I treat others as they treat me (& live my life by the virtuous 'Do unto others..' motto). This is why it became sport. After their conventional 'theories' had been proved to have no foundation in fact or rationale, inevitably they would try & engage me in a battle of the IQs. Inevitably I won. My ego is very well adjusted thank-you-very-much. It needs no augmenting.
> > But have you ever trusted a therapist?
Implicitly. I would not have borrowed $10000 to pay for therapy if I did not have at least some faith in it. I wld bet I have seen more therapists than you.
What defenses? I've had this brought up so many times. Sometimes anger is just that, anger. A symptom rather than a cause or exacerbating factor.
> > If you're not considering suicide please don't make references in your post that you are. It is a very serious issue, I simply thought you were serious.
You say you're new here. Please don't try to tell me what I can or cannot post here. I am not responsible for how you react to a post. I *am* suicidal. I *consider* it every minute of every day. I *am* serious. Suicidality involves obsessive suicidal thoughts & a desire to act upon these. I have both. What part of this don't you understand? If you take the time to read a few more posts you will see a no. of regulars (quite rightly) describe their depression as suicidal. They are still posting. Does this mean they're not suicidal? Think about it.
> > Well I hope so, telling everyone here that you are suicidal doesn't sound like you have a firm grip.
I object to that statement. Please go back & read my posts properly. It's not me advising people to 'integrate yr intellect with yr emotions'. Whatever that means. You cannot 'integrate' one entity with itself (ie *no* emotions!).
> > But now, if you say you're suicidal again I won't believe you.
More fool you. I suggest you aquaint yourself with just what it means to be suicidal.
Ann, I think the problem here is that we come from 2 different planets (this is not an insult). I don't place much store in all that 'learn to love yourself' ,& 'get to know yr inner child' stuff. I'm not saying that it's necessarily bad advice; I think it's OK advice for everyone, but doesn't have any particular relevance to the treatment of serious depressive illnesses (besides, I've done plenty of 'work' on myself). Just my opinion. I also think you confuse me with my condition. We're rapidly becoming one, but there's still a clear line of separation.
Anyway I've gone into the therapy thing a no. of times on these boards recently & don't have the time or inclination to do so again.
How about we agree to differ & leave it at this? There's far too much tension on this board as it is. You can carry on mistrusting me ("I won't believe you"). I have some real difficulties with yr take on my condition & wld rather you made no further comment upon it. Not all depression is the same. Remember that.
Back to the opioids discussion...