Posted by kid47 on May 6, 2001, at 12:50:19
In reply to HELP, Cant cope, posted by cramx2 on May 5, 2001, at 16:21:20
Hi. Man can I relate. When I was hospitalized with major depression & anxiety I thought my life was over. It was even more devastating because I was 46 yrs old married with 2 kids. After the usual frustrating med trials, my Bipolar II was finally properly dx'd & the correct med regimine rx'd. That was about 2yrs ago & my life is better than it has ever been!! During that time the phrase "Do what I can when I can" became my mantra; along with "this too shall pass" Trite cliches maybe but these two simple phrases became my life line. I won't bore you with any more details....but please don't give up. I know this is a woefully inadequate post but I really do empathize. Take care & keep posting.
> I am a Nardil user on 60mg/ 4 tabs and the heat is driving me crazy. It's only the spring and the heat is coming on fast in NYC (72 degrees today
> damn 90 yesterday) it's not helping my bad condition at all. I'm trying too remain focused, but
> all the stress and anxiety lead me to becoming depressed. When i'm outside, i completely start
> too dissociate. I can't cope anymore. I don't know how. I have to come back home from being outside. I feel safe here. I feel safe being in touch
> with trying to reach out too people who are dealing with the same peoblems of depression. I don't know how I survive each day. I'm screaming too be loved and want someone to take care of me and my needs. I don't feel safe. This is not new. However I am more aware this time. I think this is good that i am becoming more aware of my trauma but I cant feel hopeful/ stable. I'm fighting all the time too hold on. I keep using thoughts like
> I have to be in a hospital/psych ward, or I have to get out of this city, i can't deal anymore. I don't feel comforted by anybody. I'm all alone. I'm 30 years old and feel its too late. I don't want to kill myself,
> but I use that as a way of surviving/ feeling comforted/ not having to deal with the pain. And aside from this I generally can't feel any control.
> I know too much control is not good. But I can't be in the moment. How can i persue any of my goals
> or focus on my problems, if they are just eating me
> up. I'm confused because I really have no choice but to try to survive doing this all by myself. The Nardil helps, it's better than not being on AD's at all. I'm confused because I believe that the more I deal with these thoughts and feelings the better
> I will adjust in the future. Is that true or am i trying to be brave. 60 mg is the max, but the heat is killing me. My Dr. would add lithium next. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm completely desperate.
poster:kid47
thread:61712
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010424/msgs/61795.html