Posted by Doug Anderson on November 25, 2000, at 1:33:06
In reply to Re: Doug's note » Doug Anderson, posted by Jacki on November 24, 2000, at 15:14:29
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> > I am lost. The lady that I love suffers from PMDD. The thing is that she won't go for help. Maybe she thinks that there is some other problem. You seem to have this too. I have stood by her for a year and have tried to show her as much information as I can just to get her to a doctor. She has suffered long enough. This has plagued her for 30 years. How do I approach this? She tries things for a while but then gets down and gives up on herself. Then she gives up on me because she does not want to hurt me. She knows she has a problem. She then comes back and asks forgiveness. If I did not love her so much I would not have lasted this long. Who said women are the weaker sex...ha! What an idiot. If men had to deal with these emotional storms we would be institutionalized in a heartbeat. I am physically and emotionally drained. I keep reading and learning more. There really is so little written about this subject and yet it afflicts millions of women. I guess that is because men control the research to to the most part. I will continue to try to help the one I love but any help from you would be greatly appreciated. She is my soul mate and I won't give up until I have a solution. I know this just does not go away completely even with tratment. It will continue to take patience and love on my part even when the storms subside. Well thanx in advance.
> > Doug
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> Hello Doug, couldn't help but respond to your note, here. I have been reading back pretty far... just wondering, has your Lady friend tried antidepressants in any form? I think you mentioned seeking help that is not medication like that, and I truly understand that. I must share, though, that I suffered so long, spent a lot of money and energy trying to fix myself with diet, herbs, vitamins and excercise - all of which are good, I must add - but finally caved in and tried antidepressants 1 yr ago. I have been on Celexa (an SSRI) for a full year and I honestly urge anyone who is resisting that route to consider it. (This note is for Scott, too!) There is a link in women who suffer with PMDD and hormonal imbalances with seretonin levels (that is, they are markedly low). I NEVER wanted to use any kind of drug and I am glad I was desperate enough to surrender. I have been taking a HALF dose of what was prescribed to me to be conservative in my approach. Almost immediately I felt something "click" into place and it has helped me greatly over the past year to move from debilitating PMDD to a functioning existence. I am now (last month and presently) experiencing more difficulty with my PMDD and emotional/physical symptoms, so I'm on line here doing more research. Perhaps a switch or increase is needed. I plan to see my doctor for an update and tune up. Still, it is nothing like it was one year ago. PLEASE consider antidepressants as a valuable medical tool in correcting an imabalance. If she were diabetic wouldn't she take insulin? Also, just a note for you... I am very impressed at your devotion and compassion with your loved one. I must tell you, that like any serious condition (ie:alcoholism, etc.) we must desire help for ourselves when we are miserable enough. Don't lose yourself trying to help someone else if she is not willing. It's hard, but nec. for her to seek help herself. That's all for now!! - God Bless, JackieJackie,Thanks for your advice. I know the first step is to get her to her doctor and to discuss this problem. She admits the problem with PMS. I found the PMDD link. The thing is she believes that most of it is from her past and the way her family is. She believes her family history is to blame and this is just the way she is. What it comes down to is fear. I think that she is afraid that there is alot more than the PMDD and that getting psychological councilling will be admitting to madness. I can understand. When I became depressed over the past couple of years I sought help. I did not need medication. I just had to make some changes in my life. This included diet exercise, and cutting out alcohol. You see I suffer from migranes. There is the seratonin connection. That is how I found out about the PMDD connection. I realised her symptoms were that of PMDD. There is more to hers but there is the cyclical syndrome to her mental state. I guess if I went for help, then she is surely strong enough to do it too. I thought if she loved me enough then she would want to change her life to be with me. I guess I was wrong. I just know if she does something she may begin to see improvement and look for more answers. She has always been the kind of person to do things most people would be too timid to do. She moved away from home as a teen to begin her nursing education. She went for it and she has been at it since. She moved to my town by herself two years ago but has since left. She does all these things for herself,why not seek help for her PMDD? I don't truly understand. All the women I have talked to with this condition and more seem to get help. What is the difference except the fear factor. I guess she does not like to admit she is not in control and has to ask for help. I think there lies the key. Jackie, I am not willing to give up. I see what happened to me. I went from 4 or 5 migranes a month to almost ZERO. I have had only one in the past 2 months and it was not too bad.(did not get sick) I know that there is help for her and life can be much better for her. Love withstands alot. I have stood by her this long, I guess I will just keep trying. It is hard being without her. it is also hard being with her in her downward spiral. This is the toughest thing I've ever gone through and it is not even happening to me. I could not imagine going through what she does. Women are definately not the weaker sex. If she can deal with this and face it I will face it with her. If she refuses too much longer I guess I will have to move on.
Thanx for listening to me run on. I'm glad that there are people like you who are willing to help. Doug
poster:Doug Anderson
thread:3315
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001115/msgs/49384.html