Posted by Cindy W on July 9, 2000, at 11:28:34
In reply to Re: Terrorism--My Family Too, Cass! Cindy, Shar, posted by Cass on July 9, 2000, at 0:37:45
> Dear Cindy and Shar,
>
> Thanks for speaking up. It feels good to feel less alone in this kind of background. I have never personally known anyone who had such severe emotional abuse in their background. After meeting my mother, one friend arrogantly told me that "I only *perceived* it that way." Since my parents presented themselves very well in public, I was never believed when I described what went on in my home. A lot of validation, however, has come from Alice Miller's books. Two excellent ones are "The Drama of the Gifted Child" (Formerly called "Prisoners of Childhood"), and "Thou Shalt Not Be Aware". I have mentioned them before here at PB. I hope the both of you are doing well. Best of wishes.
>
> Sincerely,
> CassCass, my mother was also very emotionally abusive. The books you mentioned were helpful to me, too. The worst time I remember was in high school, when I received some junk mail with "sex drugs and rock and roll" on the outer envelope, and my mother threw away all my clothes, books, and shoes, and forbid me to see my friends, and had me changed into new classes in school, mid-term. And I had done nothing wrong. She started accusing me of having sex (I had never dated and was a virgin), looked on my arms for needle marks (I'm phobically afraid of needles and had tried no drugs), and even took away my transistor radio and TV. She accused me of being a "Communist" (back then, I was a Republican). I thought I'd never survive. Soon after that, I became anorexic (got down to 90 lbs.) and started seeing a psychiatrist (who really helped me keep my sanity). There are still residues of all this (I still feel ugly, am scared of people, and get depressed, and am fighting with OCD and all the coping mechanisms that kept me going back then but are now maladaptive, such as totally isolating myself). It's sad how people with problems can pass them on to their kids, without realizing what they are doing. You're not alone, Cass, and hope things are going well for you
poster:Cindy W
thread:39808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000708/msgs/39882.html