Posted by tina on May 9, 2000, at 16:07:41
In reply to Re: Rage and Cutting, posted by Janice on May 9, 2000, at 15:07:51
> Hi Cynthia: I have the same thing. It mostly happens to me when I'm angry at myself for doing something I consider to be stupid or useless. Sometimes I do it for no reason at all. I find that I am not really suicidal but it relieves my anger and pain to see myself bleeding. I always use something other than a knife. I seem to want the pain, like some kind of punishment. You aren't weird, you just must have some issues to work out. Mine is emotional and physical abuse that I suffered as a kid but still haven't found a psych that I'm comfortable enough with to really let go. I hope you can. Best wishes--You're not alone. Tina
Hi Cynthia,
>
> I also have rages like yours--until recently, about 1to 2 a year on average. Instead of hurting myself, I tend to take all my anger out on other people--like boyfriends.
>
> But to me it sounds like the exact same thing. Something 'triggers' my anger -- my last rage was triggered when my boyfriend was 1 hour and 15 minutes late to pick me up.
>
> Then the rage builds and builds and builds., and i have very little control over myself--this is very scary. During my last rage, I supposidly threatened my boyfriend's life.
>
> And then something happens, and the rage peaks then explodes, and I begin a quick ascention back to reality.
>
> Most times Cynthia, I cannot even remember large parts of the rages, and people will tell me the things I have done. I will remember I had a rage, but not what happened during it.
>
> My psychiatrist explained it to me as a sort of seizure. That my brain gets triggered somehow, and then has this seizure that continues to escalate, until it peaks, and then finishes. This makes sense to me because, for the life of me, they do not make any sense afterward. I am embarrassed and usually single again.
>
> I haven't had a big one now for about 3 years. I've had a few small ones, but I find them easy to control.
>
> On a smaller scale, I've been practising trichotillomania since I was 5 years old.
>
> If you have any questions, please ask, Janice
poster:tina
thread:32887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/32908.html