Posted by bob on April 15, 2000, at 22:32:38
In reply to Re: Follow-up, posted by KellyR., on April 15, 2000, at 21:53:49
> I am in a particularly bad place right now, and in a way, I can see that it comes from having better self-esteem.
Hey, I.N., I hear where you're coming from! I am still pulling out of the WORST depressive episode I've had in at least the last ten years, and a big part of it was the fact that my meds were doing their job. I was being brought from a state of mind in which I could not care about how f*ck*d my life is to a state where I *did* care. Now, if everything was all rosy and sweet, I'm sure that would have made me feel just swell.
Given, however, that my life is a mess (tho it was much more of a mess back in December when this started), **caring** about it wasn't the most pleasant thing I could have done.
If you've ever been --> <-- that close to frostbite and have had the wonderful experience of bloodflow returning to those parts of your body, you have some idea of just how much agony "caring" can bring into a heart that's been frozen stiff for years.
I had the good fortune, tho, of realizing this pain was something I needed to get through, beyond, whatever, before I could go any further in healing. It sounds like you're coming to the same realization.
Hang tight -- the ride may get rougher, but it sounds like you can see beyond it and you can get yourself to where you need to be.
be well,
bob
poster:bob
thread:29931
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000411/msgs/30177.html