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Re: pathetic vesper update

Posted by Janet on February 22, 2000, at 4:05:42

In reply to Re: pathetic vesper update, posted by medlib on February 22, 2000, at 3:03:11

> Vesper-
> Sounds like things are already as bad as they can get--so you have nothing to lose by telling your therapist the truth.
> You don't have to be eloquent; just say, "I can't stand hurting this bad any more." He/she will take it from there.
> We CARE; DON'T stop posting.
> medlib
>
>
>
> > I responded to some posts about me, but I don't have the memory or energy to remember what I said or responded to. I know they were insightful...not mine yours. I can't explain anything very well to anyone, so I don't say anything much(to my therapist, etc.) I think about suicide all the time, I can't stop cutting myself, I took an overdose. Tomorrow I see my therapist and I dontknow what to say. It just hurts really bad inside and I want it to stop. I'm so so tired of struggling to keep myself alive and functioning, for the benefit of others. I certainly don't want to exist. I didn't ask to exist, why should I have any responsibility to maintain that existence? I'm sorry to be so negative, I just cant seem to climb out of this hole. My mom is dying and I can't afford to go with my sister to see her I just want to end this! well, whatever. I'm telling this to a machine. How odd. Well, I have to go bleed some more before bed. Thank you for your concern everyone, I wish I could make up my mind what to do. I really do.
> > At the risk of being ridiculed, I will also say that I have an intolerable gender situation going too. If I think about it, I have to say I'm a lesbian. However, i am male, so that is a problem. ha ha, the joke's on me. anybody got a couple hundred thousand to correct the mistake? didnt think so. another nail in the coffin.
> > I have to stop posting my ludicrous problems. It does make me a little happier when I see a new post. am I posting for attention? I dont know. tell me to shut up and I will
> > vesper
> > wish me luck tomorrow, maybe for some reason I will be able to tell my therapist the truth, although I doubt it.

We care . Best of luck tomorrow. Keep us posted. Janet


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poster:Janet thread:23028
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000220/msgs/23033.html