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Soon be to nothing... *possible trigger*

Posted by finelinebob on August 15, 2006, at 21:34:46

Someone's gotta start a new thread around here. I vote for me.

Anyway, some of you may recognize the Indigo Girls' reference in the title of the thread. Always loved that song as one of those "yeah, I know, I'll snap out of it" BS lines so many of us feel compelled to take, or don't know better.

but you tell me it's temporary. it's a matter of time
by god,don't you think i know it's in my mind
and it's right over left and healing the then
i'll soon be to nothing but i don't know when

el-oh-el ... getting to a point where nothing is wrong. I'm sure Emily Sailers understands the absurdity of that statement, but I doubt many of the people who know the song do.

Anyway, here's what I was wondering, particularly since we've all been kicking around here for a long while and talking out these issues:

Does anybody know what 'normal' is?

Mood is completely relativistic for me. Anxiety too. When a PDoc tells me "let's titrate your dosage up slowly until you feel that it's working effectively", I have no idea when to say stop. I have no absolute point of reference ... I've been this way as long as I can remember, and the only absolute I've known was the half-step I was away from suicide. So, "absolute zero" I know. I've know extremes from psychotic to manic to agoraphobic to the point of being hallucinogenic. But I'm not sure if I know what a "temperate" zone would be for me. Maybe I'm accepting "freezing" as temperate enough.

How do you know when it's "good enough"?




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