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Re: Q for Dythymic Duck -- dj

Posted by Dysthymic Duck on October 28, 1999, at 17:47:02

In reply to Re: Q for Dythymic Duck, posted by dj on October 22, 1999, at 10:19:12

[Apologies if this gets posted multiple times --
browser is acting wierd]

> I've read (though I forget where) that these so-called syndromes are more & more being viewed as subsets of depression, which if it is true (and it makes sense to me in these days of trendy syndrome names) would mean that the doc. can deal with some forms of depression, though perhaps not bi-polar...

This is very contravertial stuff, but, IMO the
CFS == depression theory has more to do with
politics and turf wars among professionals than
much else.

My brain isn't what it used to be, so I'm not
going to argue what the current research debates
are, but I can tell you about my personal
experience. My psychological state, and CFS
state (cognitive+physical) move in opposite
directions. So, I don't think CFS is a subset
of depression.


I've had dysthymia, but my own estimation,
since about 12. At about 20, I started
having problems feeling tired (moreso).
So, I went to the family doc. He ran a couple of
tests which came out fine, and he told me to go
out and get some exercise. That p*ssed me off.
I know my body. So, I went to another doc, who
did a few more tests... and told me to get some
exercise. So I did it -- started exercising
-- almost out of spite.

But, lo and behold, I *did* feel better! For
the first time I felt secure, confident, and
just plain happy to be alive. I enjoyed things
and people more than I ever had before. I felt
great. The depression just vanished.

But, then I started having problems writing
essays for my JC classes. It kept getting harder and
harder to write coherently. Then I started having
trouble reading. I'd forget the first
half of a short story when I got to the end (so it
wouldn't make a lot of sense). Then I'd forget
the previous paragraph. Then sentence. And, finally
individual words [no bull]. And, I also started feeling
physically worse. I'd nearly pass out if I stood
up from of a chair too fast. I'd get faint,
short of breath and have chest pains if I was on
my feet too long. And there was intense insomnia
(no amount of vodka could not put me to sleep
(and I rarely drank)), and a lot of other bizzare
stuff.

But my spirits were good despite all that. I
figured school was just stressful, so it
was all normal. Because of that, and because
my mood would drop whenever I stopped, I kept
cycling (bicycling). The wierd thing was --
and this is my point -- the physical and cognitive
problem would IMPROVE when I stopped exercising.
But I never did that for very long (1 week max.).

Things got worse. I struggled to find a balance,
but the CFS stuff got worse despite any amount of
reduced exercise. It just slowed the slide
downward. So, I could either be happy and
physically & cognitively messed up, or
physically & cognitively so-so, and too depressed
to work.

So I went back to the doc, and explained this.
He told me to exercise. It was like he was deaf.
But I did keep exercising.

Finally, I couldn't compensate at all anymore.
And the depressions I'd get when I stopped
were much worse than before I'd started. Rock and
a hard place.

More doctors. Tried some anti-depressants, which
caused wierd, intense side-effects they had
never seen before. They did nothing else. (I was
basically out of money anyway). Tried a psychologist,
(which I couldn't afford, but it was a last ditch effort),
and got nowhere. (Didn't mesh with her at all,
though.)

Finally stopped exercising. Physical condition
improved 50%. Cognitive problems appear to have
become permenant (but meds help). Depression is
back.

Finally, got to my current doc. Cognitive probs
better by about 50%, physical probs almost back
to normal. The depression is turning out to be a
bear to treat, though. (Luckily for me it's
the anhedonic type; I know others suffer much
worse.)

Jeeze, that was longer than I'd intended. Anyway,
that's my story. My psychological state and CFS
state move in opposite directions. I don't
believe they're related.


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poster:Dysthymic Duck thread:11295
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991108/msgs/14106.html