Posted by Susan Jane on October 7, 1999, at 2:17:01
In reply to Workplace discrimination, posted by Bob on October 6, 1999, at 23:56:50
I think the core issue is expectations. Expectations are premeditated resentments. I don't believe that there is an easy way to prevent or stop the expectations of other people. It can be done but it's not easy. Patience and persistence will eventually work in most cases. More immediately, detachment helps me deal with the bull cookies at work. So does thinking about expectations, mine and others. Knowing that our culture is totally hung up about mental illness means that I have to really think about what goes on around me. These people expect a certain behavior, anything else is wrong to them. So, conceptually...
Detachment
Acceptance
Awareness
Compassion for self and for othersAnother thread is about being one's disease. Again expectations. A gay person is not who they sleep with, any more then a straight person. I am not my mania or my depression.
The nitty-gritty survival stuff in the midst of work and unreasonable expectations (discrimination) in my experience are so much a case by case thing. Certainly a personality alchemy exercise. Past experiences, different communication types, etc. So many factors. Be yourself. Set boundaries. Speak your mind where appropriate. Work hard. I've worked far to many places and had conflicts with far too many people. I am _so_ fortunate to be now working in a place where I fit in, where I belong. Is the work perfect? No. Are their people I don't like? Yes. Do I still have to deal with unreasonable expectations? Yes. I am m/d after all; some days I just fly around, others I drag. Sure it shows in my work. I know I get passed over for certain projects. But it's a process, earning their confidence and getting my moods stable. Real stuff, stuff I can do.
My therapist said to me tonight after I vented about a problem co-worker: employers don’t hire workers, they hire people. Dealing with the people and their expectations is part of the work environment. Dealing with unreasonable expectations and/or the emotional extremes of anger or a “witch hunt” are not a work environment I would want to be in. Fortunately, I’m reasonably employable, I have choices if it gets ugly.
Much babbling. Maybe a tidbit or two of interest. This topic has been on my mind. Being so terribly antisocial/isolationist... it’s just hard. The thoughts are beginning to get in order, but the doing is so very difficult.
SusanJane :)
poster:Susan Jane
thread:12703
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/12710.html