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Re: Manic Depression and ADD.

Posted by dove on September 30, 1999, at 10:05:15

In reply to Re: Manic Depression and ADD. , posted by Janice on September 29, 1999, at 21:22:32

Hello Janice,
Thanks for communique, it is reassuring that I'm not alone with all this :-)

Yesterday, my mind went into overdrive and then dropped me hard. By 8 am I could feel the darkness orbiting around my psyche, waiting for a crack in my facade. Didn't you write about the cycling in connection to the ADD? Didn't I just offer you some advice, I think it's your turn to tell me what to do :-)

I felt so level just 2 days ago, and yesterday and today I feel like the same old me and I hate it. I had so much hope for a change, it seems like everytime I try a new med or therapist I think "This time it's going to work." And, at first it does. I have energy that isn't desperate and I feel so much love and contentment. Then, I realize that I am still me and I rapidly spiral down. Then up, then down.

Sigh... Will it ever cease?

I've written twice today and I do feel a little lighter. Do you think this is the bipolar? I think it might be, the cycle feels too depserate and irritable to be ADD. I think the Prozac alone (no mood-stabilizer) might send me rocketing.

My cycling seems to have sped up, is it the stimulant? My hands were shaking so bad yesterday after the adderall wore off. That worries me because I have no idea why that would happen. My cycle usually runs 7-10 days depressed, 1-3 days in transition (mixed) and 1-3 days in overdrive. After which, I drop like a rock over a 3-4 hour period into the dark again. I have never left the darkness after only 12 hours in it but I shouldn't complain I guess.

Maybe I'm getting better? or am I just rapidly cycling?
~dove (feeling better by the minute)


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