Posted by Janice on October 3, 1999, at 13:06:58
In reply to Re: Manic Depression and ADD. , posted by Noa on October 3, 1999, at 12:30:06
You sound like me Noa; I continually consider myself getting better each day. I've always considered myself to be an optimistic depressed person if there is such a thing. All those could have beens can really be hard on me. But my brain is such now that generally speaking, I don't want what others have, or even value it. Luckily by my nature I am unconventional. But like yesterday sometimes I do wonder what if... maybe without these disorders I could have been happy with a simple life. This may be some self-preservation mechanism for me, not to want what I don't think i could get anyway.Just once, for about 20 seconds, did the bottom fall out of my life; and there was hopelessness! I saw my future as a series of eternal moments like this, one after another, never-ending. It was unbearable and unbelievable. I went right back on my lithium and have stayed on it since.
God, how could you become realistic about having a depressive disorder? What would this entail, Noa? I can accept living and working with my ADD for the rest of my life (without depression it's not unpleasant). But depression seems to accompany all the disorders, so I too have been battling it all my life. And I have been successful to a large degree; but, presently, if i do not have it, I am living in fear of it. Do professional people, or experts (this is you and me-unopinionated at the time) suggest this - to become realistic about living with depression. Isn't that giving up hope willingly? Janice.
poster:Janice
thread:11780
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/12483.html