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Re: Flavour of "Landmark Forum" & W. Erhard...

Posted by Sean on August 30, 1999, at 19:50:28

In reply to Flavour of "Landmark Forum" & W. Erhard..., posted by dj on August 30, 1999, at 15:39:57

> > This is interesting; I went to college with >Warner Erhard's duaghter and have some > interesting/gross stories about that family. I will > not tell them here because frankly, I think it is > possible I could wind up in a law suit. I will only > say that the daughter (Adaire) was subjected >to some rather "unconventional" practices and > that certain "boundaries" were broken that > most mental health workers would consider > inappropriate. ...
> I believe that one of the TV news magazines reported a story about WE and incest with one of his daughters a few years back and that he fled the US and he is no longer associated with the Forum...
Yep. Other gross things too.

> >. I just don't believe in
> > magic bullets or quick-fix concepts that will
> > heal our lives; this is complex stuff that takes
> > effort, learning about yourself, and hanging
> > in there through tough times.
> >...
> > Sean.
> Amen! Following is s a piece I came across in my e-mail discussing the content, intent, tone and some of the effects of the Forum and similar type 'trainings'. Make of it what you will.

Well, I think about these qualities too, but if
you think about the "self", any attempt to construct
such a thing from the "outside in" is doomed to
failure in my opinion. My experience is
the people who show the most wisdom, compassion,
insight, and integrity spend the *least* amount
of time defining their self in any external way. I
think we can get wrapped up in conceptual models
of the psyche when things are rather more basic
than we'd like to admit. But try selling a book
about that...


> > The Top 10 Concepts That Transformational Types May Need to Un-Learn In
> > Order to Become Light, Natural and Spiritually-oriented.
> >
> > By "transformational type" I am referring to those who are heavily
> > into est, Landmark Education/The Forum, Lifespring, and other
> > transformational programs. As a part of their training/immersion, the
> > following principles are often discussed, learned and assimilated. These
> > principles are very useful and great ones, by themselves, but sometimes
> > during the transformational process, the individual "becomes" these
> > principles vs just enjoying/applying them. When this happens, the person
> > uses these principles to self-define and direct their thinking, actions
> > and life. As a result, the person can become inflexible, jargony,
> > righteous and, sometimes, obnoxiously accurate. The reason I say
> > "unlearn" in the title of this Top 10 List is because, when I used to
> > coach, I found myself working with clients to deprogram or lighten them
> > up about the following concepts that were running their lives and which
> > had replaced the client's own natural "operating system." It was
> > generally a case of too much of a good thing, like bamboo that looks
> > great in a corner of your yard, but 5 years later, it IS your yard. And,
> > as someone who's a recovered transformational type, you'll hear lots of
> > righteousness in my words below, so be forewarned. Again, each concept
> > is EXCELLENT and very useful; I'll just be describing its misuse or
> > abuse.
> >
> > This piece was originally submitted by Thomas J. Leonard,
> > Infopreneur, who can be reached at, or visited
> > on the web at
> >
> > 1. Commitment
> > Commitment refers to how important something is to you. The
> > trick is to look at a person's actions, not their words. Effective
> > actions/results demonstrate commitment; words rarely do. Warning sign:
> > When someone says, "I'm really committed to..." If they were truly
> > committed, they wouldn't even talk about it. Demonstrate your
> > commitment, don't talk about it. The alternative: Just do what you feel
> > like doing and let your body/heart/spirit guide your actions; not your
> > mind. Stated commitments come from the mind.
> >
> > 2. Enrollment
> > This is the idea that you work with/stand with/discuss with a
> > person and help them to get in touch with their commitment so that
> > they'll buy something from you, either a product, service or concept.
> > So, enrollment is generally a highly advanced form of selling or
> > manipulation. It's a term commonly used by transformational types to
> > describe how effective a person is in sales or as a catalyst of change.
> > The problem is that one tends to want to excell at the skill of
> > enrollment instead of simply being enrolling. And, how does one become
> > enrolling without learning it like a skill? They simply are themselves,
> > believe in what they do and stop trying to get others to get involved.
> > Really! This is called the principle of Attraction and it's completely
> > effortless. My view is that if you need to enroll someone, you're
> > already on the wrong track because you're trying to get someone to do
> > something rather than just doing what you do and attracting those folks
> > who want to play/join you. The best form of enrollment (attraction) is
> > virtually silent.
> >
> > 3. Reinvention
> > Reinventing oneself is a popular theme in the transformation
> > community. Yes, it's a great idea to improve, rethink, better, and
> > develop oneself. Even to start over, from scratch. Even the idea of
> > reinventing oneself, or one's company, is fabulous. But here's where it
> > goes wrong. When the individual thinks that they NEED to reinvent
> > themselves, the reinvention process becomes a creation vs an evolution.
> > After all, where do you think one turns to when deciding how/what to
> > reinvent themselves? You use your mind, which is the problem. Better to
> > use intuition, spirit, your body to reinvent naturally vs "try" to
> > reinvent. This also brings up another approach of how to change/grow
> > yourself and it has to do with learning from and responding to your
> > environment (in other words, the PRESENT) vs trying to create or change
> > something through thinking or willpower.
> >
> > 4. Breakthrough
> > In transformation arena, breakthroughs are good things. In fact,
> > collecting as many has you can in our lifetime seems to be a goal or at
> > least a measure of how effective, successful or wise one is. Personally,
> > the term grates on me. I'm not really interested in breakthroughs; I'm
> > interested in staying right where I am and learning from the present vs
> > thinking I need to go outside of my comfort zone, become a different
> > person or have a breakthrough. Please. The solution? Complete acceptance
> > of who you are, who you aren't, who you'll never be, what you've done
> > and not done, and what your strengths are and your weaknesses are.
> > Better to enjoy your strengths vs having breakthroughs in the area of
> > your weaknesses. Breakthroughs often give a false sense of
> > accomplishment.
> >
> > 5. Make a difference
> > This is a self-esteem mantra for many transformational types.
> > Who cares? Live your life and if it makes a difference for others, then
> > good for you and them. But, why orient your life around making a
> > difference for others? Has a "better than others" flavor, doesn't it?
> > And, if you're trying to make a difference, then it means that you and
> > the other person haven't really accepted the present, right? Now, I
> > think making a difference is a super thing and I enjoy watching how my
> > work makes a difference for others. However, I don't define myself as
> > someone whose job is to make a difference, nor do I measure my
> > self-esteem or life worth by how often I make a difference for others. I
> > say that true generosity occurs from selfishness, not in an attempt to
> > make a difference. Why? Because if your needs are completely met, you'll
> > find yourself naturally contributing to others by your life, not because
> > you set out to make a difference. Yes, do you make a difference, but
> > it's secondary to simply doing what you enjoy during your day.
> >
> > 6. Creating possibility; creating the future
> > When a person is down and discouraged, they can probably use
> > some possibility, as in hope, encouraging words, love and a conversation
> > that has them see what's possible vs all of the bad stuff that surrounds
> > them. And, yes, setting goals and creating a future is a good thing,
> > too. So, what's off about this principle, especially when overused?
> > What's off is that one relies on the notion of possibility and future as
> > a way to escape the present. Rather than get the current message or
> > lesson, they get busy creating a better future, without really having
> > grown through what's facing them. The solution? Ask yourself why you
> > need to set goals, create a future or get more possibility in your life.
> > When you've gotten your answer, and made changes at that level, then
> > creating a future will be a choice vs a medicant or way to escape from
> > the present. I learned the traps/limitations of the future/goal setting
> > in the late J. Krishnamurti's book, "The Book of Life." It ruined my
> > life and I am so grateful!
> >
> > 7. Empowerment
> > Empowerment is a fading term. It had to do with sharing your
> > power with others or helping them to tap into their own power or source
> > of power. So far, so good. But when you get the notion of strength vs
> > power, all things related to power (empowerment, victory, winning,
> > politics, enrollment, etc.) become distasteful, because you've found a
> > more effective and fulfilling way to succeed (via strength, not power).
> >
> > 8. Being; way of being
> > Transformational types usually learn to talk about one's "way of
> > being" and consider this a term that others will understand and relate
> > with. Most don't, and for good reason. Why? Because when you're trying
> > to "be" more (as in be quieter and "doing" less), you're doing being,
> > not being being. (That's not a typo.) Big difference. One's way of being
> > comes from the inside, not from one's mind or attempts to "be" a
> > different way. There's a whole field called ontology (study of being),
> > which is quite interesting, but if you've ever met anyone who's into
> > this, you'll find that they are heavy thinkers, not light/easy going
> > be-ers. When you don't care how you're being, you're being. When you're
> > trying to change how you are being, you're doing. Simple as that.
> > Solution? Do what you want to do and you'll likely be being. Do what you
> > should be doing and you'll be doing, not being.
> >
> > 9. Service
> > Service is a super concept, as in customer service, being of
> > service, serving the needs of your clients, etc. When you are serving,
> > you are responding. So far so good. The rub, however, is that there's
> > another notion called "adding value" which is eclipsing the notion of
> > service. When you add value, you are proactively serving your clients or
> > customers. With transformational types, the notion of giving complete
> > service, while a good one, is waning in popularity and effectiveness,
> > because adding value has more value in the market place than serving
> > does. Solution? Continue to be of service, but become a master at adding
> > value. You'll make a lot more money that way and attract stronger
> > customers.
> >
> > 10. Integrity
> > This one is tricky. Integrity, meaning that you are doing/have
> > done the "right thing" for yourself and/or others, is a very helpful
> > principle. However, it can also be used by your mind to keep you from
> > growing, evolving and experimenting, given you don't want to be "out of
> > integrity." Don't make Integrity the end all and be all of your
> > existence. It's simply one aspect of a rich life. Transformational types
> > end up sparring with themselves or each other about what the integrous
> > thing to do is. Who knows what the integrous thing to do is, really? I
> > suggest that you do what feels right to you right now and to do
> > something different later if you're called to. Remember, integrity is
> > just a skill that we are all developing, as we increase our awareness.
> > Integrity will evolve for you over time. Behaviors that were out of
> > integrity for you last year, may be quite in integrity this year and
> > vice versa. Don't let integrity take over your life.




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