Posted by racer on June 5, 1999, at 16:42:14
I'm taking Effexor XR, 150 per day. I've been taking Effexor XR since January, but the dosages have been raised over this time period. The latest increase was about two weeks ago. I'm still suicidal. I just don't have the hope or motivation to go on anymore. I don't see anything at all to look forward to.
I know what I'll do. I have a bottle of acepromazine for my horse. It's a mild sedative for horses, but you have to wear gloves to mix it, since it's so toxic to humans. I'm scared that it's gonna make me sick and miserable for a long time, which has kept me from doing it so far, but I'm also scared that I'm going to do it and then all chance of anything changing will be gone. I really need help that just isn't there for me, and don't know who to turn to.
Can anyone help? Here's the question, same as it's been for the last year: is there a drug that will be effective against my depression without a ton of side effects that I can't tolerate? My blood pressure is too low for the tricyclics. Not a chance in hell I'll try an MAOI, gotta have my sour cream. Serzone was totally intolerable, all my muscles tensed and I couldn't keep any food down. Paxil made me gain over fifty pounds, and I slept all the time, just couldn't feel awake. Wellbutrin is out, because of anorexia. Therapy, alas, is also out. No money, no insurance. My doctor is terrible, but she's the only one available to me under my circumstances.
Please, tell me there's hope, and help me find it. I just can't stand another minute of this. I'm 35 years old, and still stop eating at the first sign of stress! I'm sick to death of always being hungry, of never being safe and loved. Please help me.
poster:racer
thread:7079
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990601/msgs/7079.html