![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 29. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
If you could ask your therapist one question, what would it be?
And why?
If he/she could then ask you one, what would you hope it would be?And what would you hope it wouldn't be?
For me::
I think I'd like to know if he experienced abuse himself, because a therapist friend of mine said he couldn't be this empathetic if he hadn't "been there." I'm not sure why I want to know this...I'd like him to ask me if he can read some of my poetry.
I don't want him to ask me if I feel angry or suicidal these days. Because he always wants me to then express it. *ick*
Posted by annierose on February 21, 2006, at 6:56:41
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
It's hard to limit my choice to one question ...
knowing they will answer it. Truth be told, I have probably asked her the question, but she just smiled instead of responding --- similar question to yours."What was your childhood like, what events occured that lead you into this field of study?"
Still thinking of a question I'd like her to ask of me ..
Posted by pseudoname on February 21, 2006, at 8:53:03
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
I'm assuming she HAS to answer it fully & truthfully. I'd ask,
"Tell me about your therapeutic failures."
I'd ask that because it would help take her off any pedestal either of us might have her on. Maybe BOTH of us would be more comfortable then with accepting limitations of therapy and imperfect help and so on. Therapists get caught up in desperately "needing" to help people, too.
It would show what she considers "failure" and how she deals with it in clients. It also shows what she thinks the goals of therapy are.
It would also give an indication how willing she is to be honest with me. I think that's a very scary topic for therapists: confronting, with the client, eyeball to eyeball, their own limitations in helping.
I would want a therapist to ask me: "Am I listening to you closely enough?" It'd suit me if they asked it at every session.
The other one (NOT want them to ask) is hard to think of. But I never have a good answer when anyone asks, "So, what's new with you?"
Posted by B2chica on February 21, 2006, at 8:59:00
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
1. was what i experienced, was it really abuse, sexual abuse...really?
he's said it before but i trust him and i wish i could hear him say it once more to confirm, so i don't go around saying things that aren't true or that are an exaggeration.2.how do you think of me?
so i can tell him what he's meant to me.
Posted by happyflower on February 21, 2006, at 10:37:56
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
FOr me, I wish I could ask my T what he really thinks of me.
And I wish he would ask me for a big hug. I am feeling protective of him lately.
Posted by All Done on February 21, 2006, at 12:41:11
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
Very interesting, Daisy...
There's not much I don't ask my T, but given the last session I had, I'd like to ask if he loves me in *any* way. It might be the one thing I'll never ask though, because I'm too terrified, yet fairly certain, that the answer is no and I would just get a non-response. I'm really learning to hate those non-responses. They're worse than a negative response, because now I have to wonder and I have quite an ability to assume the absolute worst.
I suppose (just out of curiosity's sake - umm, maybe??), I wonder if he's married or attached and if he has more than the one child he's told me about.
Like happyflower, I'd like for my T to ask me to hug him, but not for his benefit. If he asked, I would feel reassured that he's not mortified by the idea of touching me and he believes I need a hug, it's okay to give me one, and it's in my best interest to get one from him. Plus, I wouldn't have to deal with the rejection if I asked and he couldn't or wouldn't allow it.
I'd hate for him to ask me what I know about him that he hasn't told me himself. It's not that I've learned a whole lot, but I've never admitted to Googling him.
Oh...one other thing...I'd like him to ask me if I want a picture of him.
Posted by bent on February 21, 2006, at 12:59:57
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
gosh this requires thought.
I'd like to know if my T has ever been where I am: in successful therapy but so caught up in painful transference. I guess I just want to know if she understands/relates.I'd also like her to tell me what she thinks if me.
I wish she'd ask me if I wanted a hug once in a while. (we've never hugged in 3+ yrs.)
Cool thread.
Posted by annierose on February 21, 2006, at 14:14:49
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by bent on February 21, 2006, at 12:59:57
Posted by fallsfall on February 21, 2006, at 15:31:11
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
I think I'm perfectly happy in my state of oblivion.
I like the way things are going. I trust him to act in my best interest (which can include not answering certain questions).
Considering how much turmoil there has been at various times, this is a wonderful place to be. See, there's hope!!
Posted by James K on February 21, 2006, at 16:55:46
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by fallsfall on February 21, 2006, at 15:31:11
I would ask a therapist.
Will you keep helping me after I get chicken or bored and cancel an appt or two? I always stop after a while, how are we going to handle this right up front?
I'd want her/him to ask me "What do you think we should do? Is there some way I can know this is happening, so we can deal with it?
What I don't want to hear is. "if you don't expect this to work, why are wasting each other's time?
James K
Posted by madeline on February 21, 2006, at 17:09:51
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
I would ask my therapist if he would let me help him if something bad happened to him (like the death of a spouse or a parent) or if he would just let me blither on and on about myself.
I would want him to ask me about my favorite books, music art etc... I'm more than just my problems. You know?
I would NOT want him to ask to meet my parents.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 21, 2006, at 17:58:59
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
Wow! Not sure how to answer these questions, but it sure makes for an interesting read! Great thread, Daisy!
lgl
Posted by rubenstein on February 21, 2006, at 18:57:17
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
good questions
really good
I have to think about them for a while
I guess I want to know if he likes me, but he has said it
I guess I wish that I could believe it.
Rachel
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 19:52:13
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
I don't think there's anything I want to ask him that I haven't asked him.
I think what I'd like is the ability to read his mind and hear what the *real* answers are, and how he *really* thinks about me.
He tends to say things like "It wouldn't be therapeutic to tell you everything that enters my mind about you." which makes me think I really should know what those things were. But I know asking him would just yield the same statement.
I'm not sure I can think of any global questions I'd like him to ask me. I'd like him to ask the right answers at the right time more often, to show that he's as in tune with me as I am with him.
He can ask me anything substantive and I'd be perfectly happy. It's the "What would you like to talk about today?" I'd like him to strike from his repertoire. It's guaranteed to empty my mind.
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 19:55:41
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 19:52:13
I suppose it would be in bad form to slip him truth serum in his coffee
Posted by madeline on February 21, 2006, at 20:32:35
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 19:55:41
maybe just a little would be okay ;)
Posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 20:53:03
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 19:52:13
****I'd like him to ask the right answers****
hmmm...Right ANSWERS...Dinah?? Freudian slip?
I laughed out loud. And then sighed and wished it too.:)
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 21:39:49
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because » Dinah, posted by madeline on February 21, 2006, at 20:32:35
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 21:40:43
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 20:53:03
lol. Come to think of it, that would be even better. :)
Posted by 10derHeart on February 21, 2006, at 22:09:52
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 19:55:41
Why am I hearing Jack Nicholson's character in AFGM screaming, "You can't HANDLE the truth!!!!"Or, to put it another way, be careful what you ask for, you might get it?
I think I know what my T. *really* thinks of me. I hope it's pretty darn close to what he's been willing to actually tell me. But if it's not, I'm not that sure I really do want to know *that* particular truth.
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 22:16:03
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on February 21, 2006, at 22:09:52
lol.
How about it would hurt like h*ll and I'd grieve big time, but I definitely *could* handle the truth.
And it would help in other ways, with other decisions.
Posted by Deneb on February 21, 2006, at 22:39:36
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
I would like to ask my pdoc (who's actually more like a T), why did you become a psychiatrist?
I would like the answer to be something about wanting to help people and why she wants to help people, not about the money.
Deneb
Posted by frida on February 21, 2006, at 23:32:05
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
Dear Daisy,
What a nice idea..i've read all the answers/quesitons below..If I could ask my therapist one question, I would ask her what she truly thinks of me and if she does love me
I would love it if she asked me "Is it Ok if I give you a hug?"...I would love to be held by her and cry in a safe hug
I can't think of a question I wouldn't like her to ask me..in fact, I like it when she asks questions because i feel she's somehow...interested or concerned about me...
Thank you for this!
Frida
ps: I even feel tempted to someday soon share this with her...maybe I will ;-)maybe not because i am afraid of feeling rejected.
Posted by fairywings on February 21, 2006, at 23:50:07
In reply to Re: A Quiz, just because, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 19:52:13
> It's the "What would you like to talk about today?" I'd like him to strike from his repertoire. It's guaranteed to empty my mind.I HATE that question! I hate it bec. I can't stand to be the focus, or in the hot seat I guess. He asks it almost every appt.!
fw
Posted by LadyBug on February 21, 2006, at 23:59:48
In reply to A Quiz, just because, posted by Daisym on February 21, 2006, at 0:53:17
Great Post!!!
I think I know a lot about my T. since I've been seeing her for 9 years.
She has said a few brief things about her own therapy, but I'd like to know the reason she was in therapy in the first place. What were the childhood issues she needed to work out. She's told me she'll always love her T. and she knows he'll always love her. She understands much of what I feel about her. I know her therapy was a success. So my question would be;
Why did you decide to be a therapist and did you do your therapy before you started your practice or during your schooling, and how long did you see your T.
The question I'd want her to ask me is silly because it's not a question about learning something she doesn't already know. I'd
want her to ask me if I wanted to come to her house and have Hot Chocolate with her. ;-)
I'd like to sit on her couch and chat an afternoon away, that is after I take a tour of her home....
The question I wouldn't want her to ask me is; When was the last time I was intimate with my husband...........sex isn't something I am comfortable talking about with her.
I used to be curious of everything about her and would ask her a lot of questions about her family, maybe because I wanted to be part of it. I always thought she'd be the "PERFECT" MOM. Still do.
LadyBug
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.