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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on January 1, 2008, at 18:18:58
I am returning to work after being away for ten weeks (five of those weeks in hospital). I start on the 8th. I am really scared about returning.
I don't know how people will react. I supposed to off for 6 weeks, but I took more time because I was in the hospital.
I think I would feel better about returning if I felt better. I am going back to a stressful job when I am not feeling well.
Maxime
Posted by MidnightBlue on January 1, 2008, at 23:16:19
In reply to Scared to return from work., posted by Maxime on January 1, 2008, at 18:18:58
Maxime,
First of all you need to go to the doctor before you even try to return to work. I know you need/want to start working again. But sometimes our bodies and minds don't cooperate.
MB
Posted by kezia on January 2, 2008, at 11:16:02
In reply to Scared to return from work., posted by Maxime on January 1, 2008, at 18:18:58
> I am returning to work after being away for ten weeks (five of those weeks in hospital). I start on the 8th. I am really scared about returning.
>
> I don't know how people will react. I supposed to off for 6 weeks, but I took more time because I was in the hospital.
>
> I think I would feel better about returning if I felt better. I am going back to a stressful job when I am not feeling well.
>
> MaximeYou are scared for a reason - you are not ready to return to work. You are still struggling, and that is no way to return to work. I have been where you are, and I went back to soon and ended up having to take a prolonged leave because of it, only to return and relapse because I fell back into my old workaholic patterns.
Speak with your doctor and tell him how you are feeling - honestly. Between the two of you, you should be able to come up with an appropriate return date (if it is not to be January 8). If it is to be January 8, I would suggest that you speak with your boss (without going into specific details about your illness) and propose a graduated return to work over the course of a month (as discussed with your doc). This way you can ease back into a work schedule with, perhaps, 2 or 3 full or half days a week. Depending on the nature of your job, I would even ask about the possibility of telecommuting, which would entail working in the office a certain number of days a week and working from home a certain number of days.
As for what your colleagues will think, don't underestimate them. Most people recognize that having to take an extended period of time off work can happen to anyone and will be sympathetic without being prying. My colleagues were extremely supportive, understanding and sympathetic. I felt blessed.
Maxime, I can not stress this enough - think long and hard before you return to work. A few more weeks could make all the difference in your readiness and ability to cope. You have been through a lot during the ten weeks that you have been off and are still fragile. It is important that you take care of yourself.
Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. I know it is not easy to return to work.
Take good care.
Kez
Posted by Maxime on January 2, 2008, at 21:18:47
In reply to Re: Scared to return from work. » Maxime, posted by MidnightBlue on January 1, 2008, at 23:16:19
> Maxime,
>
> First of all you need to go to the doctor before you even try to return to work. I know you need/want to start working again. But sometimes our bodies and minds don't cooperate.
>
> MBHi MB
I am seeing my psychiatrist on the 7th, the day before I am due back at work (they are expecting me).
I don't think he will stop me from returning to work. He will think that the structure will do me some good.
Maxie
Posted by Maxime on January 2, 2008, at 21:21:47
In reply to Re: Scared to return from work. » Maxime, posted by kezia on January 2, 2008, at 11:16:02
I think I want to just jump back into work. But at the same time I can see that it's not reasonable. But it is what I will end up doing.
Will give some thought to going back gradually.
Thanks for taking the time to respond. You have been really helpful.
Maxime
Posted by Poet on January 4, 2008, at 13:44:33
In reply to Scared to return from work., posted by Maxime on January 1, 2008, at 18:18:58
Hi Maxime,
Could you see how it goes the first week, and if it's overwhelming cut back to part-time without being hassled by your employer? Then gradually ease into fulltime? It's something to think about. I hope your pdoc helps you on the 7th.
Poet
Posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 13:53:59
In reply to Re: Scared to return from work. » Maxime, posted by Poet on January 4, 2008, at 13:44:33
I am beginning to think that I should return part time for the first month. The problem is, January is our busiest month!
Gah, I don't know what to do!
Maxime
Posted by stargazer2 on January 4, 2008, at 23:23:43
In reply to Re: Scared to return from work., posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 13:53:59
Maxime, even more reason to start out slowly. If it is real busy, it may be too much. Perhaps you can cut you days shorter or take either Mon or Fri off. See how the first week goes...if by the end of the week, you feel it is too much, ask to take that next day off. It's better to work a shortened week rather than burn out and not be able to work at all. Try to take it one day at a time and let your supervisor know how you are doing each day or every couple days until you feel comfortable with the expected work schedule.
I would think they will appreciate you just coming back...You have to evaluate how you are doing and take it slow in the beginning. My downfall is I do too much and burn out while the other workers take their time. I have to learn to pace myself and maybe you do too.
Stargazer
Posted by maxime on January 6, 2008, at 23:00:44
In reply to Re: Scared to return from work., posted by stargazer2 on January 4, 2008, at 23:23:43
You are so right! Also, I am still severely depressed and I have to try a new AD.
I will work three days a week for two weeks and then four days a week for two-three weeks. I have to get a note from my doctor.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on January 7, 2008, at 21:12:28
In reply to Re: Scared to return from work. » stargazer2, posted by maxime on January 6, 2008, at 23:00:44
Posted by Poet on January 8, 2008, at 11:54:43
In reply to Tomorrow is the big day! Eeep! (nm), posted by Maxime on January 7, 2008, at 21:12:28
Posted by Maxime on January 8, 2008, at 18:53:35
In reply to Scared to return from work., posted by Maxime on January 1, 2008, at 18:18:58
Well I made through my first day. I am exhausted but I made it.
I no longer fear losing my job because I have been given new projects to work on so they obviously plan on keeping me.
I just have to get used to the hours and the commute. I am only working three days a week for the first couple of weeks.
Thanks everyone for your support.
Maxime
Posted by Poet on January 9, 2008, at 8:47:46
In reply to day 1, posted by Maxime on January 8, 2008, at 18:53:35
Hi Maxime,
It sounds like day one went real well and I agree that if they weren't planning on keeping you they wouldn't have given you new projects. Maybe they even kept them waiting for your return.
Poet
Posted by Maxime on January 11, 2008, at 19:13:07
In reply to day 1, posted by Maxime on January 8, 2008, at 18:53:35
I only worked three day this week and it almost killed me. I was SO tired. I was stressed too. I think I went back too early. I can't do anything about it now. I will have to suffer.
Maxime
Posted by stargazer2 on January 11, 2008, at 23:30:02
In reply to Went back to work too soon, posted by Maxime on January 11, 2008, at 19:13:07
What is the biggest stressor at work? Is it the actual work or is it the pressure you may be placing on yourself.
I find that I overreact to stress and internalize it whereas other people can make better judgements of how much stress they can take. I always put myself down for not being able to keep stress as an external event and use it more as a warning than as a measure of how good I consider myself.
Is this what happens to you or is it something else that is making you feel so stressed?
Hoping you can take it one day at a time. That is actually very good advice as long as you put it into practice.
Good luck in getting through each day at work. At least you are trying and this is sometimes all it takes but you have to be kind to yourself while you are still testing the waters.
Stargazer
Posted by Maxime on January 12, 2008, at 12:04:12
In reply to Re: Went back to work too soon/Maxime, posted by stargazer2 on January 11, 2008, at 23:30:02
Thanks for responding.
It is part the stress I am placing on myself to perform well. But there is stress at work as well. January is our busiest month. We are being pushed. And now I feel like I have to accomplish 5 days work into 3 days.
Maxime
Posted by kezia on January 12, 2008, at 14:16:34
In reply to Re: Went back to work too soon/Maxime » stargazer2, posted by Maxime on January 12, 2008, at 12:04:12
> Thanks for responding.
>
> It is part the stress I am placing on myself to perform well. But there is stress at work as well. January is our busiest month. We are being pushed. And now I feel like I have to accomplish 5 days work into 3 days.
>
> Maxime
>
Maxime,Can you talk to your boss about your schedule? Perhaps 1/2 days would be better (4 half days instead of 3 full days).
Also, would your boss entertain the idea of a telecommute arrangement? This way, you would only be required to be in the office perhaps 1 day a week (to start with) and work from home 2 days a week. Then, when you are back full-time, you could be in the office 3 days a week and work from home 2. It would reduce the stress of a long commute to and from work (which is draining in itself) and would also reduce the pressure of your having to interact face to face with colleagues, etc. A few years ago, I was really physically sick and my doctor wanted me off work. Anyway, I ended up working from home for a period of time. I had access to the office and my staff through my computer. Work I had to review was sent to me by e-mail, work that couldn't be sent by e-mail was sent by messenger, my phone in my office was call-forwarded to my home . . . I really got a lot done without interruption. If I could convince my boss to allow a telecommute arrangement now, I would love it. A lot of companies are doing it now and I think it is good for morale and productivity.
Anyway, I really don't think you need to suffer. The long-term consequences could be great. If you can't take more time off, then try to make arrangements to reduce as much of the stress as possible. Plus, although easier said than done, try not to put unnecessary pressure on yourself. It's hard when you're a perfectionist (which I am assuming you are [sorry if I am wrong]). You know you have always done, and will always do, your best, so try not to second-guess yourself or tell yourself it is not enough. Also, just because your colleagues may not pull their weight or go that extra mile doesn't mean you have to pick up the slack. You have your job to do and they have theirs. If they can't or won't do theirs, that's their problem. I know what it's like to always be covering for people and being the person that gets all the work that others won't or can't do passed their way. The people that aren't doing the work don't go home at night feeling stressed and guilty about it, but it sure starts to take a toll on the one who always says yes and no problem. It's a hard trait to break and I'm still wrestling with it myself, but there does come a time when you just have to say "I have my job to do and I will give it a 110%, but I can't do everybody else's jobs at a 110% as well."
Anyway, all this to say that you need to take care of yourself and protect yourself.
Kez
>
Posted by Maxime on January 13, 2008, at 17:38:52
In reply to Re: Went back to work too soon/Maxime » Maxime, posted by kezia on January 12, 2008, at 14:16:34
Hi Kezia.
Working half days would be too much because it takes me about an hour and a half to get to or from work.
There is really no work that could be from home either.
But you did have excellent ideas! :)
Thank you.
Maxime
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