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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on October 3, 2014, at 8:32:00
The paperwork is going...mediation will be next, and we won't have to be in the same room. I have now become triggered to the point of being unable to be in the vicinity of where we lived. I narrowly missed him at the pharmacy the other day, and started to cry and shake. Traumatised by trauma. :-(
My lawyer had wanted me to work on realising as much profit from the sale of our business inventory as possible, but it distresses me too much to have to go back there, even if the home is empty. My therapist announced it not worth any amount of money to try to do it, so I am quite relieved to put it behind me. Walking away from memories good and bad are necessary for me to go forward.
As will eventually relocating to another part of the country. This is the longest I have lived anywhere, and the most unhappiest I have been. I need four seasons to thrive. I am making an exploratory trip far from here and will keep an open mind. No running this time, but a deliberate decision, made with hope and determination.
My local friends watching my process are calling me Brave and Strong. I am just doing what feels necessary and right. I have dropped the fear and the story about it.
Posted by Poet on October 3, 2014, at 11:28:38
In reply to Machine is turning, posted by ClearSkies on October 3, 2014, at 8:32:00
Hi CS,
I think your local friends are right: you are brave and strong. Moving to another part of the country is not running, it's called a fresh start. One that after all you've been through you deserve. Sorry about you being traumatized by trauma, which unfortunately I can identify with.
Keep calm and carry on!
Poet
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2014, at 15:56:17
In reply to Machine is turning, posted by ClearSkies on October 3, 2014, at 8:32:00
I agree with Poet, it isn't running. I remember you saying before that you really didn't like where you were living at all and were only there because of your relationship. I remember asking you if you could persuade him to move to a different part of the country where you would be happier...
I remember you saying that it would be hard because of leaving your therapist. And some other social supports that you had. Women's group. You really must be finding your strength in realising that you can find good relationships wherever you go... I think weather is a lot more important than people typically credit. I know for sure I am about a million times happier where I am right now than what I would be if I had have gone off to the slushy gloomy south to swim with the penguins... I'd love to be there during the summer, truth be told, but the winter would about kill me. Remembering back to my time in North Carolina... The summers about killed me there. I sweat more than about anyone else I know and I have issues around wearing light summer clothing... It was torture, really, no fun at all. I can't imagine living in Florida...
Where are you going to go? I think it would be a lot of fun to be able to research places... And possibly even visit... And then choose. Are you going to stay in the US or go to Canada? Big city or smaller town? I guess it might make some kinda sorta sense to go where there are people you know... Or not... You could always go visit. And I guess there is a different cost of living involved in different places... Making that kind of trade-off... Big city or smaller town... In the city or more suburbia... What fun.
Posted by baseball55 on October 3, 2014, at 19:48:10
In reply to Re: Machine is turning » ClearSkies, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2014, at 15:56:17
CS - You are brave and strong. This is such a hard thing to get through, but you're hanging in and getting through it. I agree with your therapist. You have to decide at what point fighting and litigating is just too hard on your mental health.
Moving....I love the four seasons and hate very hot weather. So many places to choose from. I just was on the weather.com site and it had a list of the most livable cities. Two in Minnesota in the top 10, despite the cold winters.
This is the end of the thread.
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