![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 24, 2013, at 19:24:09
I think maybe they pity themselves. Or something... Who knows...
I got a text from a mate. He is doing the christmas with his wife's family, thing. He's lying down already. Fed up. Cheap (thoughtless) crappy gifts and social pressure to smile smile smile have a good time amongst the one upmanship and vaguely concealed insults. You know, the way most people socially bond.
And I get to opt out.
Other friends up from Wellington. Same thing... He's at her family's doing the exchanging of thoughtless junk thing. Where you know in advance there will be insulted feelings and tears and feelings of inferiority etc etc no matter how the gift thing turns out. Where the people get to stand around and talk about how much money they made that year and how many kids they can fit in their large plastic houses.
Ugh.
And I get to opt out.
Some people do have happy Christmases, I guess. Those who get to feel good about themselves for running other people down. Those who have thick enough hides to not let the insults get to them. The people who don't mind roughhousing with the puppy's to see who gets to be top dog... The people who would rather be trampled and kicked around by all than to... Opt out. I don't get that.
Apparently it is because I'm broken.
Mmm Hmm...
I saw this documentary thing on the TV about the housing situation. A lot of people are pissy about some of the apartment blocks that got built in the city. They aren't pretty, that is for sure. Cheap one bedroom apartment housing, basically. With a small balcony. Apparently they changed building laws after that... Set a minimum size on the balcony size and the square footage or something. (Not entirely sure how student housing manages to get exception from that with studios -- perhaps because it is temporary student housing? I don't know). Anyway... They did this thing where this single guy let the TV cameras into his house for the News. Shows how much happens in NZ, huh, that this counts as news.
It was funny that... Most people seemed to cringe and hang their heads and they visibly... Felt sorry for him. Pity. Except... The odd guy... A lot of the women were like 'oh, I could never live like that. I mean my house has got 5 rooms and we still feel crowded!' etc. Some of the guys were like 'my house has got 5 rooms and they all belong to... my wife'. What that guy had in the city in his tiny one bedroom apartment is more of a guy space than most guys get.
A place where nobody tells them to do this and that and the next thing. To not do this other thing. To take their feet off. To not have another beer. Etc...
Why do people put up with that?
I don't understand.
I guess they do their pros and cons and figure it worth it?
?
Maybe the pleasure in joint activity thing got broken. And I'm too self conscious / sensitive to deal with the inter-personal jostling that people invariably seem to do in their attempt to... bond. is that really what they are trying to do with that???
you insult me and that is supposed to make me want to be your friend and want to spend time with you?
who got broken again?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 24, 2013, at 19:26:03
In reply to I don't think they pity me, posted by alexandra_k on December 24, 2013, at 19:24:09
actually...
one of my friends emailed me and said to try out this demo game on steam:
neoscavanger
just trying to figure out what you are up to is fairly entertaining.
best
christmas
present
ever:)
Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 24, 2013, at 22:29:49
In reply to Re: I don't think they pity me, posted by alexandra_k on December 24, 2013, at 19:26:03
hey alex i read part of your post on the top one, you write long and there's cool pointers in the sentences....plastic houses,
but you use Steam??? god, tell me do you like Half Life?? the game? i waaaaant so bad to know more first person shooter games....could you maybe help me out?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 15:22:27
In reply to Re: I don't think they pity me, posted by rjlockhart37 on December 24, 2013, at 22:29:49
i haven't really played half life, but i know a lot of people really love it.
i wish i could play skyrim, but i can't with my mac.
it is a bit more of an rpg - but it is a first person solo player real time version of one...
i prefer party rpg's so you get a bunch of different characters to develop. and i prefer a turn based combat option (at least)... so there is a bit of strategy behind combat...
i did play fable a bit on x-box. i suppose it is a bit similar to skyrim. but more action and less character development.
halo, of course.
counter-strike, of course.
i have only played a little on x-box, but bio-shock seems alright if you are into adventure / first person shooter style games.
i have played the witcher a bit - but too linear for me. i like worlds to explore and lots of side-quests. and the combat was fairly hack and slash...
that's all i got. sorry.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 15:38:26
In reply to Re: I don't think they pity me » rjlockhart37, posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 15:22:27
so my dbt therapist used to say that i get to make my own family. i guess because i was 19 or 20 or 21 or something at the time. she probably figured i'd grow up to get married or something.
never say never... but, really, i don't suppose that i will. i don't think i'm capable of letting someone that close to me. friends who i feel close enough to co-habitate with (sometimes, at least) i don't feel anything more for. if i have feelings for more then i don't have the desire to spend much time with. either way... i don't seem able to tolerate the closeness that most people... need? want? for part of their life, at least.
i don't quite know what it is.
anyway, it's okay. maybe i'll meet someone who i feel differently about... maybe my feeling will change over time... or maybe it won't. maybe the problem, really, is the intensity with which i really need to be alone when i do really need to be alone. i mean... it isn't an 'i'd rather be alone, but i can put on a happy face' sort of preference. it is more of an 'if you come within 5 feet of me i'll scream and repeatedly hit you' sort of preference. i can't seem to help it. the feeling, i mean. so that's that, really.
i did a little writing yesterday and it was good. i need to remember that. will keep away at it. i'm fairly sure... the university will never turn away a submitted thesis? yes? does it really matter whether i'm enrolled or not? perhaps it is better for me to think of things this way?
i... need to talk to someone about this... what to do... i don't know who to talk to. i... i feel like i need someone to make executive decisions for me. talk to enrollment people and sort this out on my behalf. i'm weary. i'm sick of being expected to be a grown up. i don't have grown up skills. i... didn't learn them by osmosis the way the other students did. sorry.
i'll just ignore it for a while. get supervisor work on the third. tell him about summer school. i know he'll be understanding about my need to do that -- the worry is more about what is to happen with my thesis. shudder.
i guess i need to apply for an extension and then apply to go on leave for the year. then return to things October. i mean... that is the only option, really.
on the upside they have introduced this fee that i need to pay in cash. a couple hundred dollars... student services fee or some sh*t. i mean it is not like i can access student services for anything from here... though i sort of feel like there must be somebody from there end who can help me finish... but it is money they keep getting if you are enrolled. maybe that is the point... you wouldn't keep paying that if you weren't really planning on finishing. or something. whatever. money money money everything costs it. it is supposed to signify how much something means to you, i think. only... what if you don't have a lot. does that mean... you aren't allowed to care about very much? it limits your options. that is the sad thing about not having any. that is meant to be, anyway.
the hardest thign (in my experience at least) is for more money to increase freedom... rather than that extra money making you more of a slave to various things.
hrm.
i guess that means it is not really about the money.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 27, 2013, at 2:42:07
In reply to Re: I don't think they pity me, posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 15:38:26
> she probably figured i'd grow up to get married or something.
>
> never say never... but, really, i don't suppose that i will. i don't think i'm capable of letting someone that close to me. friends who i feel close enough to co-habitate with (sometimes, at least) i don't feel anything more for. if i have feelings for more then i don't have the desire to spend much time with. either way... i don't seem able to tolerate the closeness that most people... need? want? for part of their life, at least.
>
> i don't quite know what it is.
>
> anyway, it's okay. maybe i'll meet someone who i feel differently about... maybe my feeling will change over time... or maybe it won't.And maybe you'll meet someone (else) who isn't like "most people".
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 3:38:16
In reply to Re: I don't think they pity me, posted by Dr. Bob on December 27, 2013, at 2:42:07
> And maybe you'll meet someone (else) who isn't like "most people".yeeeeeeeeeees.
and i'm sure our kids will be delightful :-/
ahahahaha
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.