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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 12:17:08
I am just fumbling around for my antidepressant pill while I am high as a freaking kite.
I can't obliterate myself enough.
I know if I am doing this AND I forget to take the damn pills that I am not going to be well.
I am cutting the klonopin though.
I figure I don't need so much.
I can't deal with reality. I don't think I can.
Posted by jane d on December 4, 2010, at 12:50:05
In reply to I think I'll probably crash, posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 12:17:08
No advice. Just sympathy. I'm going to head out into the sunshine in a few minutes and try to enjoy it. Or at least absorb it.
Posted by Free on December 4, 2010, at 13:08:55
In reply to I think I'll probably crash, posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 12:17:08
> I can't deal with reality. I don't think I can.
I'm sorry you're having such a tough day. If you were nearby,
I would take you for a long walk with me and let you just be.Sending you warm thoughts, Sid.
Free
Posted by sigismund on December 4, 2010, at 13:33:42
In reply to I think I'll probably crash, posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 12:17:08
I had a good friend who was on Seroquel, Effexor and Valium and who (like you) would get high as a kite and was as sane as a bell (or so you seemed in chat).
Posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 22:02:31
In reply to Re: I think I'll probably crash » obsidian, posted by jane d on December 4, 2010, at 12:50:05
thanks jane, hope you got some sun :-)
Posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 22:04:17
In reply to Re: I think I'll probably crash » obsidian, posted by Free on December 4, 2010, at 13:08:55
thanks, I am having a really hard time.
Posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 22:05:47
In reply to Re: I think I'll probably crash, posted by sigismund on December 4, 2010, at 13:33:42
I am often quite clear as a bell, but therein lies the problem.
Posted by sigismund on December 4, 2010, at 22:14:50
In reply to Re: I think I'll probably crash » sigismund, posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 22:05:47
>I am often quite clear as a bell, but therein lies the problem.
I see :)
Posted by obsidian on December 5, 2010, at 13:49:15
In reply to I think I'll probably crash, posted by obsidian on December 4, 2010, at 12:17:08
my father is dying
I can't handle this knowledge
he is someone I haven't had a relationship with for a very long time
and that hasn't changed
but he's dying anyway
'cause that's how things go
and so, I will have to go see him
it's the only thing I can see to do
although I could be wrongI was doing better than this. I was. I was a more fully functioning human being. I've got to pull it together for this. I just haven't yet.
Posted by sigismund on December 5, 2010, at 14:50:17
In reply to to clarify..., posted by obsidian on December 5, 2010, at 13:49:15
>he is someone I haven't had a relationship with for a very long time
It is much harder in that case. I was lucky with my mother. We'd had endless problems but she reached out to me and said sorry, and it was so easy for me, easier than it was for my brothers and sisters. We had 3 good years as she died. But nothing is more beautiful to me than a change of heart and the pressure of impending death may cause things to arise unpredictably.
Posted by Solstice on December 11, 2010, at 16:58:35
In reply to to clarify..., posted by obsidian on December 5, 2010, at 13:49:15
I think what makes it hardest, Sid, is that your father's decline might also be forcing you to grieve the loss of the father you wish you had. That is such a tough thing to go through. As long as our parents are alive, we can harbor hope that they will eventually *get it*. But when they physically die, that hope dies with them.
I am so sorry that you are going through this very difficult thing.
Solstice
Posted by obsidian on December 12, 2010, at 0:27:51
In reply to Re: to clarify..., posted by Solstice on December 11, 2010, at 16:58:35
it is exceedingly difficult, thank you for understanding. I keep telling myself that it shouldn't bother me...but then it does.
it's grief upon grief
I keep thinking that a parent shouldn't matter this much if they were not so much a parent.
but there it is anyway
Posted by obsidian on December 12, 2010, at 0:29:32
In reply to Re: to clarify... » obsidian, posted by sigismund on December 5, 2010, at 14:50:17
I'm glad that happened for you.
I don't know yet how this will work out.
Posted by sigismund on December 12, 2010, at 12:09:32
In reply to Re: to clarify... » Solstice, posted by obsidian on December 12, 2010, at 0:27:51
>I keep thinking that a parent shouldn't matter this much if they were not so much a parent.
It's much harder then, Sid, as you know.
This is the end of the thread.
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