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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 41. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 9:22:27
This year :-(
Next year :-)
- Scott
Posted by Asry86 on February 14, 2009, at 9:35:52
In reply to No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 9:22:27
I've never even had a Valentine :(
Posted by seldomseen on February 14, 2009, at 10:22:30
In reply to No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 9:22:27
I don't know.
I think finding love is about finding someone who wants the best for you, wishes you happiness and wants for you what you want for yourself. Therefore, I can say for sure that you have plenty of valentines here.
That certainly includes me.
Happy Valentines Day.
Seldom.
Posted by Asry86 on February 14, 2009, at 10:35:18
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » SLS, posted by seldomseen on February 14, 2009, at 10:22:30
> I think finding love is about finding someone who wants the best for you, wishes you happiness and wants for you what you want for yourself.
What if you don't even know what you want for yourself?
Posted by antigua3 on February 14, 2009, at 12:27:53
In reply to No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 9:22:27
Now THAT's positive thinking. Very good.
antigua
Posted by Phillipa on February 14, 2009, at 12:33:25
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » SLS, posted by antigua3 on February 14, 2009, at 12:27:53
Scott I'm sorry. I guess will send you one as you are so kind and loving. Love Phillipa
Posted by fayeroe on February 14, 2009, at 13:42:58
In reply to No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 9:22:27
Posted by Kath on February 14, 2009, at 20:41:47
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » SLS, posted by antigua3 on February 14, 2009, at 12:27:53
Valentine's Day
Christmas
New Years
Thanksgiving
I think that 'society' places SO much emphasis on these 'special' days & I think it can cause a LOT of stress for many many people.
There's such an expectation of how it's supposed to be & for MANY people, holidays of any sort are NOT happy times, or times of others showing they care for us, or happy family-get-together times.
It sort of makes me mad! Anyway, that's just me, but i send my love to all my Babble family
xoxo Kath
Posted by yellowbird01 on February 14, 2009, at 20:43:44
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » SLS, posted by seldomseen on February 14, 2009, at 10:22:30
No Valentine for me either this year. I thought I'd have one, but my valentine ended our relationship last weekend. We had lunch today and he gave me a diamond necklace.. to symbolize our friendship. I've been zonked on xanax since I got home.
What a happy, lovey day. /sarcasm
Posted by Kath on February 14, 2009, at 20:45:50
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by yellowbird01 on February 14, 2009, at 20:43:44
> No Valentine for me either this year. I thought I'd have one, but my valentine ended our relationship last weekend. We had lunch today and he gave me a diamond necklace.. to symbolize our friendship. I've been zonked on xanax since I got home.
>
> What a happy, lovey day. /sarcasmYIKES - I thought he didn't want to see you for a month! This must feel so friggin' confusing & if I were you I'd feel pulled & pushed & buffetted & not knowing WHAT to feel!!!
((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))
I send you my supportinve love, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on February 14, 2009, at 21:01:41
In reply to Lots of stress caused by 'special' days, posted by Kath on February 14, 2009, at 20:41:47
For those of you who didn't have a loved on or receive a Valentine Mine was from a poster not husband. And when we went out to the stores they were the fullest ever so don't feel that bad. And tomorrow St Patrick's day cards will be out, Memorial Day, Fourth Of July, Labor Day and back the the others. It's a way in my very humble opionion for stores to make money, restaurants whatever. Phillipa
Posted by gardenergirl on February 14, 2009, at 21:31:02
In reply to No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 9:22:27
I'm not so little, but I am a girl, and I am red-headed. So happy Valentine's Day, Scott.
:)
gg
Posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 21:35:38
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by yellowbird01 on February 14, 2009, at 20:43:44
Hi.
I am very sorry for your having been without a true (truthful) valentine this year.
Men are sometimes very simple to understand, though.
I know nothing of your story, so I am reluctant to comment too heavily here. I think he possibly is afraid to be without you, but may never have been in love with you. He just wants to make sure that he is not alone. He wants to keep his options open until he finds something "better". He may never have been truthful with you in not disclosing to you his lack of feelings for you. He possibly is not truthful with himself, but that's not your problem.
Mixed messages? Yes, definitely. Confusing? Not so much. Take him at his word today. Don't let his confusion become yours. Be clear to yourself what you want. If he is not able or unwilling to give it to you, then it is your choice whether or not you will allow him to play with you. Some men understand very little about women except for how to string them along. And he will do so successfully, as long as you think there might be any chance for love and union.
I have to apologize. I guess those were some pretty strong comments after all. Forgive me if they are way out of whack. I just don't like to see women taken advantage of by the likes of former scumbags like me.
Maybe your ex-not-ex is genuinely interested in maintaining a friendship with you - a person whom he genuinely likes. Are you interested in being just friends for always and forever?
I know myself pretty well by now. If the situation were reversed, and a woman for whom I had strong romantic feelings decided to terminate the romantic relationship, I would opt to cut off all communications with that person so that I could move on, regardless of her sincere desires to remain friends. Hurt just once and be done with it.
Anyway, I hope that you get what you want. You deserve better than a friend bearing expensive gifts. You deserve a lover bearing his soul.
What babbling!
I know I sound pretentious. Forgive me. Maybe that's something I should change?
- Scott
Posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 21:45:51
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » yellowbird01, posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 21:35:38
> I just don't like to see women taken advantage of by the likes of former scumbags like me.
Actually, I was never a scumbag. I was just very, very confused. I hurt my ex-wife very badly, and I never forgave myself for it. It is probably the only thing that I have not forgiven myself for. She deserved far better than what she got from me.
- Scott
Posted by Bobby on February 14, 2009, at 23:14:54
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » yellowbird01, posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 21:35:38
Some men understand very little about women except for how to string them along. And he will do so successfully, as long as you think there might be any chance for love and union.
Guilt and memories can string you along successfully as well. Forgiveness must be complete---just like kids and dogs do. Don't beat yourself up forever---at least you have a conscience. I hope next year someone digs that.
Posted by Garnet71 on February 15, 2009, at 2:47:41
In reply to No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 9:22:27
You will all find your true love when you are ready for it to manifest in your life...both spiritually and emotionally ready.
..until then, continue to work on yourself. Be the best person you can be with the gifts you have been given.
If it has not happened yet, then you are not ready. Everything in life is circular; it is bound to happen sooner or later.
Posted by SLS on February 15, 2009, at 6:46:09
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by Garnet71 on February 15, 2009, at 2:47:41
> You will all find your true love when you are ready for it to manifest in your life...both spiritually and emotionally ready.
>
> ..until then, continue to work on yourself. Be the best person you can be with the gifts you have been given.
>
> If it has not happened yet, then you are not ready. Everything in life is circular; it is bound to happen sooner or later.That was nice.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by SLS on February 15, 2009, at 6:51:17
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » SLS, posted by Bobby on February 14, 2009, at 23:14:54
> > Some men understand very little about women except for how to string them along. And he will do so successfully, as long as you think there might be any chance for love and union.
> Guilt and memories can string you along successfully as well. Forgiveness must be complete---just like kids and dogs do. Don't beat yourself up forever---at least you have a conscience. I hope next year someone digs that.
Guilt actually trapped me in a relationship with a woman for a few years. I did not want to end it, even though I had never been in love with her. I felt guilty and did not want to hurt her. Besides, our lives had been choreographed by others, and I would feel guilty if I didn't follow the script. I was a real mess. I didn't understand and act on my emotions.
- Scott
Posted by Kath on February 15, 2009, at 16:11:54
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » yellowbird01, posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 21:35:38
Dear Scott,
This:
"You deserve better than a friend bearing expensive gifts. You deserve a lover bearing his soul."BLEW me away totally!
You may have been less than you'd like to have been in the past, but thank you for being so real, open & wise in that post to yellowbird. I'm sure it was not easy for her to read, & maybe it was or was not accurate, but guess what? That quote above certainly is accurate!!!
Love, Kath
PS - I've always viewed you as special.
Posted by Kath on February 15, 2009, at 16:14:18
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year., posted by Garnet71 on February 15, 2009, at 2:47:41
Wow - one of those wise posts that I print out!
K
>You will all find your true love when you are ready for it to manifest in your life...both spiritually and emotionally ready.
>
> ..until then, continue to work on yourself. Be the best person you can be with the gifts you have been given.
>
> If it has not happened yet, then you are not ready. Everything in life is circular; it is bound to happen sooner or later.
Posted by SLS on February 15, 2009, at 16:15:58
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » SLS, posted by Kath on February 15, 2009, at 16:11:54
Posted by yellowbird01 on February 15, 2009, at 17:41:11
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » yellowbird01, posted by SLS on February 14, 2009, at 21:35:38
Thanks Scott. Not too harsh... i'm sure everything you've said it right. There's a lot of weird things going on but i just have to accept that weird or not, whether they make any sense or not, it doesnt matter. He said he doesnt want to be with me and that's the bottom line. Ouch.
Thanks for responding, here and on psych. You werent too harsh. One day at a time...
Posted by Kath on February 15, 2009, at 20:51:58
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » SLS, posted by yellowbird01 on February 15, 2009, at 17:41:11
> One day at a time...
~ ~ or one minute, when necessary.
xoxo Kath
Posted by yellowbird01 on February 15, 2009, at 22:05:43
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » yellowbird01, posted by Kath on February 15, 2009, at 20:51:58
Posted by Bobby on February 16, 2009, at 0:07:21
In reply to Re: No Valentine this year. Maybe next year. » Bobby, posted by SLS on February 15, 2009, at 6:51:17
I would say that I have wasted years in relationships too----but I've learned a lot from them. Knowledge is not cheap---everything has it's price. And I should have said--in my previous post---that it also takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there in this thread Scott. That-- coupled with the fact that you're almost always trying to help people here--should be a chick magnet--in and of itself.
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