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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on November 30, 2008, at 21:56:50
My brother is graduating from college soon and he's trying to figure out what to do after graduation. He always talks about himself as a very smart person. He IS very smart. He has a 4.0 and he's done some quite prestigious things. But he talks about it a lot, and he puts other people down. He usually does it when he is upset with them. But it seems like, every single day now, he's talking to my mom about how he's so smart and he has this great talent of being smart, and he doesn't want to do any kind of job that doesn't use his brain. and for some reason, I just have started to feel bad about myself. I think, well, if he's smart, I must be stupid.
Another thing that bothers me about him, is that he doesn't seem very nurturing or interested in me or my life or my activities. We talk and stuff. It seems to me like he thinks I'm stupid and worthless and he doesn't want me to succeed. Maybe that's all in my head, but that's how I perceive it when I say to him in a conversation, "we have some of the same interests." and he looks down and smirks and doesn't say anything. Like his interests are better. Like just because we have the same interests, he is better than me. ugh. I don't know if this sounds like I'm just crazy or what but I am sick of him, lol.
Posted by no_rose_garden on November 30, 2008, at 22:01:52
In reply to smart VS me (venting), posted by Angela2 on November 30, 2008, at 21:56:50
(((Angela)))
Is brother older? I'm sort of tired right now, so can't really think well, but it seems like your brother is very arrogant. I bet you're smart too...and nicer to be with b/c you talk about more than how smart you are.
Posted by Angela2 on December 1, 2008, at 14:46:53
In reply to Re: smart VS me (venting), posted by no_rose_garden on November 30, 2008, at 22:01:52
Thanks for saying that Rose. You made me feel better. ((((no rose))))
Posted by TexasChic on December 1, 2008, at 17:54:43
In reply to Re: smart VS me (venting), posted by Angela2 on December 1, 2008, at 14:46:53
It sounds like he wants you to feel inferior. The funny thing about people who brag about themselves all the time is, they usually tend to have some sort of inferiority complex. Why else would they need to brag about it and look down at other people? If your brother was confident of his 'superior intelligence', he wouldn't feel the need to advertise it. He would feel its self apparent. And I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but that nonsense about only getting a job that uses his brain, that just sounds ridiculously conceited if you ask me. I'd like to only take a job that uses my artistic ability, but a girl's got to eat. So don't let it make you feel bad, he obviously has some serious hang ups. Next time he smirks at you, think about how ridiculous he is and smirk back.
-T
Posted by Angela2 on December 1, 2008, at 19:38:17
In reply to Re: smart VS me (venting), posted by TexasChic on December 1, 2008, at 17:54:43
Texaschic, you are right about him feeling inferior. My mom said that he thinks people in school are smarter than him. And yeah, he is arrogant.. I guess I was quite fed up with the way he is. Maybe I'll just ignore him. It felt good to rant yesterday. ranters unite! :p I know, that's kinda random, haha. Random people unite!
Angela C.
Posted by Kath on December 1, 2008, at 21:43:51
In reply to smart VS me (venting), posted by Angela2 on November 30, 2008, at 21:56:50
~ ~ ~ Hi Angela - I like you a LOT & I am very much in what I call "Mummy Bear" mode right now as a result of reading this post.
Ya know how - look out if you encounter a bear & there's a baby bear nearby??? THAT kind of Mummy Bear. It's good your brother isn't anywhere nearby me! I'm answering 'through' your post between ***marks***
He always talks about himself as a very smart person. He IS very smart. He has a 4.0 and he's done some quite prestigious things.
**My husband & I were just talking about people who (I can think of no polite way to say it) brag about themselves. I find it embarrassing. They don't seem to know enough to be embarrassed...I get embarrassed for them!**
But he talks about it a lot, and he puts other people down. He usually does it when he is upset with them.
***How old is he Angela? He sounds rather immature. Unfortunately, being smart doesn't necessarily have much to do with being mature.***But it seems like, every single day now, he's talking to my mom about how he's so smart and he has this great talent of being smart, and he doesn't want to do any kind of job that doesn't use his brain.
****It's too bad your mom doesn't mention to him that 'blowing your own horn' isn't cool. It's too bad SOMEone doesn't let him know that, because once he's out in the 'real world' with a job or whatever, it will not serve him well. I do NOT think YOU should be the person to tell him.***
and for some reason, I just have started to feel bad about myself. I think, well, if he's smart, I must be stupid. ********given what you say later in this post - about his attitude to you, this is understandable. I do not think it's true. You sound quite intelligent & smart to me Angela. Formally-educated does NOT necessarily mean smart. And smart does not necessarily mean formally-educated. I, at least, firmly believe this.***
>
> Another thing that bothers me about him, is that he doesn't seem very nurturing or interested in me or my life or my activities.
*****Angela - he is MUCH too interested in himself to care about you (or probably anyone else either). I think it's really sad that someone along the way hasn't taken a bit of the 'wind out of his sail'. As I said before, he sounds rather immature.****We talk and stuff. It seems to me like he thinks I'm stupid and worthless and he doesn't want me to succeed.
******If you succeeded, Angela, he would have to share the limelight. I am sure he doesn't want to have to loose his place of honour.*****Maybe that's all in my head, but that's how I perceive it when I say to him in a conversation, "we have some of the same interests." and he looks down and smirks and doesn't say anything. Like his interests are better. Like just because we have the same interests, he is better than me. ugh.
*****Yup - unfortunately Angela, although he may get good marks at school, he's not getting very high marks in my view, in the 'admirable qualities as a person' area. I'm sorry to be so brutal. It's the M.Bear coming out. But ya know, I really don't like to see people being treated poorly - especially people I like. I bet that in some part of himself, he is nervous that you might move forward into his limelight & subconsciously is behaving in ways to make you feel insecure so that you won't start to pull forward more****I don't know if this sounds like I'm just crazy or what but I am sick of him, lol.
****You do NOT sound the least bit crazy. There's another person on this board whose sister should get together with your brother as far as 'non-admirable behaviour' goes!!!! And both of you 2 people on this board are wonderful people who deserve way better as far as siblings go. If you have a therapist, I do hope you discuss this stuff. I'm very sorry you have to be around this type of thing & witness it & hear it. The weird thing is that he's sort of making an a** of himself & doesn't even realize it.
((((((((((((((you))))))))))
MUCH love & support, Kath
Posted by Kath on December 1, 2008, at 21:46:00
In reply to Re: smart VS me (venting), posted by Angela2 on December 1, 2008, at 19:38:17
Ignoring sounds good & how about "random ranters unite"!!
luv, Kath
> Texaschic, you are right about him feeling inferior. My mom said that he thinks people in school are smarter than him. And yeah, he is arrogant.. I guess I was quite fed up with the way he is. Maybe I'll just ignore him. It felt good to rant yesterday. ranters unite! :p I know, that's kinda random, haha. Random people unite!
> Angela C.
Posted by Angela2 on December 2, 2008, at 8:21:13
In reply to Re: smart VS me (venting) » Angela2, posted by Kath on December 1, 2008, at 21:43:51
Kath, that was the best post I ever got!!! Thank you for sticking up for me. It feels good to know people are on my side. Really. He is 2 years younger than me (I'm 25). I think you are right about him being afraid that I'll get some of the limelight. Just the comments he makes sometimes..
I know this post is kinda short. just dunno what to say. but please know I really appreciate your support.
thank you again and much love to you too.
Angela
Posted by Kath on December 2, 2008, at 15:53:50
In reply to Re: smart VS me (venting) » Kath, posted by Angela2 on December 2, 2008, at 8:21:13
(((((you)))))) Hi Angela. Never worry about a short post to me. Mine tend to be long sometimes as I get going & can't stop! I'm also glad that we don't get PBC's for rants against people's siblings!!! LOL I'll answer through between ***marks***
> Kath, that was the best post I ever got!!! Thank you for sticking up for me.
****Thanks so much for telling me that. Sometimes I get scared that I'm being too forceful!! I will always stick up for you - please know that.*******It feels good to know people are on my side. Really. He is 2 years younger than me (I'm 25). I think you are right about him being afraid that I'll get some of the limelight. Just the comments he makes sometimes..
****Hmmmmmmm - that's so interesting that you're older. I am an only child, but I have wondered if it is hard being the 'younger' kid. I think there is just some innate 'looking up to' that happens towards an older sibling? So if a younger sibling found something that gives them a 'special' thing about themself, I could see the kind of behaviour that's happening with your brother surfacing.***
> I know this post is kinda short. just dunno what to say. but please know I really appreciate your support.
> thank you again and much love to you too.
> Angela****Hope you always feel free to rant about him if you need to.
much love, Kath xoxo
Posted by Angela2 on December 2, 2008, at 22:09:21
In reply to How ya doing today? » Angela2, posted by Kath on December 2, 2008, at 15:53:50
This is the end of the thread.
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