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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Little Bird KK on September 5, 2008, at 20:21:35
In reply to Concern about not having any friends, posted by Little Bird KK on September 5, 2008, at 19:47:36
> Hi everyone,
> Im kind of new here, so I hope Im bringing up the right kind of topic that I need perspective on...here it is:
> Im 34 years old and I don't have any female friends at all, accept my boyfriend's mom. I would like to have female friends around my own age I can hang out with and talk to, but I haven't since 2003. It's really wearing my spirit down. My boyfriend fortunately doesn't care that I don't have any friends of my own, but I find myself bored alot and jealous that he does have friends. When I did have friends before 3 of my grandparnts died in 2002, they were often competative and ended up treating me bad once they got to know me, by taking out their insecurities on me. Or I had friends that were very one sided, and only wanted to do what they wanted to do when it came to going out on the town and having fun.
> After my grandparents died, I lost all of my friends because I was grieving too long and hard over my grandparents deaths, and they were too used to me always being a comfort to them and their problems, they didn't have time for mine.
> This is the history and pattern of friends I had in the past, and ultimately resulting in me choosing not to have friends for a long time. Now that time has past 5 years too long, and Im finding myself yearning friendship again, but too scared to look for it because of my history with friendships. Can anyone give me some helpful tips in making new friends, without appearing desperate? I understand going to places that have groups for people to meet new people, but I don't feel comfortable in singles groups, because Im not single. I do have a boyfriend/ fiance. Thanks to anyone that answers my post...
I forgot to add this to the social board...so adding it now...
Posted by Phillipa on September 5, 2008, at 21:55:18
In reply to Concern about not having any friends, posted by Little Bird KK on September 5, 2008, at 19:47:36
Welcome to babble and this sounds like a perfect question for the social board. All boards are listed on the page. Try posting there too? Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on September 5, 2008, at 22:04:08
In reply to Re: Concern about not having any friends, posted by Little Bird KK on September 5, 2008, at 20:21:35
I may not be able to give you any advice, but I can tell you I'm in the same boat. Except no boyfriend. And I'm 38. So see, you could be worse off. Okay, now I'm depressed.
The way you described the friends you had in the past sounds like mine too. I've had the same sort of pattern of one sided relationships where after a while they start treating me badly. So for the past 3 years I've just done without friends.
We must have similar personalities. I'm just now realizing that I have a reoccurring pattern through out my whole life of being bullied. My therapist says the only way to change things is by not allowing myself be put into that role of victim, but we haven't gotten much further than that. Needless to say, I still have quite a ways to go. Are you seeing a T?
-T
P.S. You wouldn't happen to be a Pisces would you? Now that would be too weird.
Posted by Phillipa on September 6, 2008, at 0:02:40
In reply to Re: Concern about not having any friends » Little Bird KK, posted by TexasChic on September 5, 2008, at 22:04:08
Un oh T I am March 20 on the cusp. So what does that mean as I've always kind of been a longer? Love Phillipa
Posted by JayMac on September 6, 2008, at 0:48:38
In reply to Re: Concern about not having any friends, posted by Little Bird KK on September 5, 2008, at 20:21:35
Welcome, welcome Little Bird!
I feel your pain. I tend to be a loner. I have been this way for a while, I even remember playing alone a lot even when I was in kindergarten. I have a difficult time letting myself connect with/to other people. I can can get people to connect to me. But I have a hard time maintaining connection with others.
Anyhow, I'm wondering, how do you feel when you are with other people that share your interests? Do you tend to get more energy from being alone or being with people? In other words, do you tend to be more introverted or extroverted (I usually don't ask these types of questions, I don't like putting people into a box)? I'm just curious what kind of personality you may have that may(not) be relevant to your concern.
Peace,
Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on September 7, 2008, at 1:57:12
In reply to Re: Concern about not having any friends, posted by Little Bird KK on September 5, 2008, at 20:21:35
Hey, I gotta add a *me too* here also. It seems over the past 10 (10!!!! freakin!!) years I have had maybe one or two people I could maybe call an 'acquaintance', but they all took off on me. They said they got 'too depressed around me'. Pretty sad, as I was the one always paying going out for dinner, paying for the bar tab, driving here and there. I *was* supposed to go to Cuba with one so-called "friend", but he just dumped me and went anyways. I was even willing to pay for some of his trip if he didn't have all of the money. DUMB, I know!
Now, having a girlfriend, that is a WHOLE other issue!..lol. I've posted about my woes on here many-a-times. (And everybody has been kind and put up with it..lol.) I am 38, have tried the 'on-line' dating thing with disastrous results. I've gone back to university so I don't have to think about the issue! lol.
So, welcome aboard. Many of us are "out of touch" with the crazy land of the living mean people out there!
Take care,
Jay
This is the end of the thread.
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