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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by WaterSapphire on August 25, 2008, at 6:46:26
I always put possible trigger on my posts even though I not sure what is a trigger or not, and my OCD self will now allow me not to.
On with the game...
OK, I am a mess. I am a physical and mental mess.
I am trying desperately to get help for what is going on, in the same turn lets just say I have had a lack of good medical care here in Michigan where we live. My new pcp seems ok. I tried to see a new nephrologist on Friday, and she wouldn't even look at my CT scans that the radiologist probably misread according to a former nephrologist (I went to a new one because of where we live and have no car right now). Well this lady took the cake. She wants the report, even though I explained to her that it said nothing was wrong and she wouldn't even look at it! She said, radiologists are trained to look at these things. Ah, but she does not realize the other problems I had at the hospital including, not being given anyone to talk to when I went there and also told them I was really depressed (during dehydration), almost sending me out of the ER without seeing a physician after earlier I had only seen a PA who was leaving for the night, and I needed a followup, and being sent home saying I did not have an infection when the labs showed otherwise. Anyways, no one would ever believe the cruddy medical care I received in this one county. I have no psychiatrist anymore, and cannot afford to get to one. I have no medication after I gave up on taking it all for it was not really helping. (All but the klonopin and I went off that too). I feel like my kidneys are filtering out anything important I need in my body. I get dehydrated from nothing, my moods are swinging more than a monkey from a tree, this weakness will not go away, my bp goes up and down, some days I cannot sleep because of pain or my heart is beating funny, other days I am so tired I can barely crawl out of bed. ALL of this for what? I want to be able to get a therapist. I liked the one I had but we now live over an hour away, and since our car needs a tranny, until I can find arrangements with this local bus service I am grounded. Not to mention, I get very anxious around people sometimes in a closed space.
So now what? I am truly at a loss. I have been so depressed this past few days after being weak and in pain that I don't know how much more I can take. My mind is going places it shouldn't. I would talk about it here, but I am not sure what is ok or not. I just don't know anymore sometimes.
Much Peace and Love
Chelle
Posted by Partlycloudy on August 25, 2008, at 7:52:51
In reply to I am a mess,dunno what to do (possible trigger), posted by WaterSapphire on August 25, 2008, at 6:46:26
WaterSapphire, it sure sounds like you are in distress and have had some awful experiences with care - no wonder you're anxious. It must be hard to try to give your new pcp and other caregivers a clean slate given what has happened with you in the past; but that sounds like what they are asking of you (in disregarding the CT scans, I mean).
Do you take this leap of faith and let this new team try to start anew in your care, or do you let your past experiences color your present ones with caution? You've been traumatized by what has happened to you so far. Does your pcp understand the history, and is he sympathetic?
Trust is hard, if you feel you have not been given the proper care in the past. Having a frank discussion with your doctor about your concerns might go a long way to calm some of your worries.
take care
PartlyCloudy
Posted by Phillipa on August 25, 2008, at 11:09:27
In reply to Re: I am a mess,dunno what to do (possible trigger, posted by Partlycloudy on August 25, 2008, at 7:52:51
I truly empathize with you as I've had similar things happen at ER's and docs offices. I don't know your history but my thoughts are with you. Phillipa
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 25, 2008, at 22:59:03
In reply to I am a mess,dunno what to do (possible trigger), posted by WaterSapphire on August 25, 2008, at 6:46:26
> I always put possible trigger on my posts even though I not sure what is a trigger or not, and my OCD self will now allow me not to.
>
> On with the game...
>
> OK, I am a mess. I am a physical and mental mess.
> I am trying desperately to get help for what is going on, in the same turn lets just say I have had a lack of good medical care here in Michigan where we live. My new pcp seems ok. I tried to see a new nephrologist on Friday, and she wouldn't even look at my CT scans that the radiologist probably misread according to a former nephrologist (I went to a new one because of where we live and have no car right now). Well this lady took the cake. She wants the report, even though I explained to her that it said nothing was wrong and she wouldn't even look at it! She said, radiologists are trained to look at these things. Ah, but she does not realize the other problems I had at the hospital including, not being given anyone to talk to when I went there and also told them I was really depressed (during dehydration), almost sending me out of the ER without seeing a physician after earlier I had only seen a PA who was leaving for the night, and I needed a followup, and being sent home saying I did not have an infection when the labs showed otherwise. Anyways, no one would ever believe the cruddy medical care I received in this one county. I have no psychiatrist anymore, and cannot afford to get to one. I have no medication after I gave up on taking it all for it was not really helping. (All but the klonopin and I went off that too). I feel like my kidneys are filtering out anything important I need in my body. I get dehydrated from nothing, my moods are swinging more than a monkey from a tree, this weakness will not go away, my bp goes up and down, some days I cannot sleep because of pain or my heart is beating funny, other days I am so tired I can barely crawl out of bed. ALL of this for what? I want to be able to get a therapist. I liked the one I had but we now live over an hour away, and since our car needs a tranny, until I can find arrangements with this local bus service I am grounded. Not to mention, I get very anxious around people sometimes in a closed space.
> So now what? I am truly at a loss. I have been so depressed this past few days after being weak and in pain that I don't know how much more I can take. My mind is going places it shouldn't. I would talk about it here, but I am not sure what is ok or not. I just don't know anymore sometimes.
> Much Peace and Love
> ChelleHi Chelle:
First, I hope you don't mind soft (((((((Chelle))))) cyber-hugs. Circumstances, whatever they are called, are basically "when it rains, it pours..". And for some reason in this messed-up, f'd up universe, somebody up there just can't get it *right* for the less fortunate down *here*. No car, no insurance...in America, that sadly makes everything tougher. It should absolutely not be that way in the year 2008.
( But certain people and of a political leaning want to keep all the money for themselves. But...I am sorry for going off....((and I didn't single anyone out...so it is civil :))
Is there anybody around you can get transportation from? You are seriously at risk medically if you don't get your blood pressure med, at the least, and you are also of course very much at risk without psychiatric meds. You should not have to live with such pain. Is there some type of "Community Clinic" who say provide meds on a 'sliding scale' or for free for low incomes? I know that is not the 'best' care, but at least it is something.
I don't mean to be preachy, but going off medication also has it's "side effects", just as being on them does too. I'd really advise never, ever to stop any medication unless on a doctor-assisted, long-term withdrawal plan. I think also it would be good to have a medication "Plan B" if having the meds removed reveal more depression and anxiety. Once you get a bit of relief from your depression and anxiety and OCD, then looking for a therapist could be a good next step. I'd honestly, IMHO, say get the meds first, though.
Please take good care of yourself...and I am sending you my inter-cosmic good waves and vibes, and a few prayers too. Once you feel that tiny bit of relief from meds, it will all come into a bit better picture. Then you can better face the bigger issues.
Best,
Jay :)
Posted by WaterSapphire on August 27, 2008, at 2:34:48
In reply to Re: I am a mess,dunno what to do (possible trigger, posted by Phillipa on August 25, 2008, at 11:09:27
PartlyCloudy, Phillipa and JayBravestFace...
It really means so much that you guys can empathize and offer a bit of advice too. Just to clarify, I have insurance...well I might end up losing (part of it) since I have not been able to pay for it since I got it yet...and they still haven't cancelled it on me. It is just we are broke, and my hubby is on a temp job now and we still have to send my stepdaughter money. Either way , I still have insurance at least to get to a regular doctor and get on something. I was supposed to start on Lamictal awhile back. I have been very resistant to ssris and other things they put me on. When I tried to get help at more than one hospital for depression um it was a joke...one would not even admit me!!! I was sick yes at the same time, and it is a long story but the social worker at the other place argued with me about my hyperfocusing on being dehydrated and wanting to know what was causing my pain. I went to the hospital twice asking for help...back in the winter and spring and I just am flabbergasted with this. I don't know what direction I will take, but I want some help. I can at least take the bus locally I think to at least see my pcp, so long as I can get the disabled help part of the transportation system to come to where we live cuz I cannot walk a mile to the bus stop.
Jay, thank you for all your concern and advice too. I had pretty much and still have become jaded by all doctors for the most part. I am disgusted and this caused me along with what I thought was possible kidney failure to have to stop taking my medication. I am still not sure what the heck is going on and afraid of what would be safe to take too. I am babbling on babble.
Thanks you guys soo much
Peace and happiness
chelle
This is the end of the thread.
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