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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 22, 2008, at 6:25:20
In reply to Re: I sent my reply for the job at the University » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 21:08:57
Tex,
I think that nervous breakdown can be replaced byacute psychiatric crisis
No, I don't think it has a DSM-IV code, but still-- it's nothing that a pdoc is unfamiliar with.
I wish you the best of luck in your new job hunt. I'll be thinking of you. Remember 2 steps forward, one step back. You can do this-- extricate yourself from the BOSS. ugh.
take care
-Ll
Posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 9:45:02
In reply to Re: I sent my reply for the job at the University » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 21, 2008, at 21:08:57
Thanks Kath and lurpsie. Your support means a lot to me.
Well I went to the pdoc, and the good news is I'm off until Monday under a doctor's care. The bad news is she didn't want to write anything about the ADD because she said they may just turn around and fire me. Apparently that happened to someone they were treating. The employer actually put it in writing that they were firing her because the ADD was interfering with her job. She said an extended leave may result in the same thing, which is why she gave me a little less than a week. That way it isn't considered a leave of absence or something like that.
The HR lady asked if I think it will be any different when I return on Monday, and I told her while I'm off I'm going to be trying out a new med (Extended Release Xanax) and the doc wants to see how it effects me, which is part of the reason for the time off. She seems very satisfied with that, as if she were thinking, okay, the boss won't be able to challenge that.
I just know my boss is going to be SO pissed. She's out of town today and tomorrow. The HR lady said I should call and leave her a voice mail explaining I'll be out all week, but the phone lines were down, so she volunteered to send an email for me. I told her my boss was going to be mad and probably call and yell at me, and she said to call her if that happens (although she seems rather unsympathetic about everything). The problem is, there will be a couple of projects that someone will have to finish up for me, so I'll have to be contacted to be able to explain it to someone.
I keep being afraid I'll get fired, but the HR lady said my boss could not fire me without it going through HR and a bunch of different processes. But since I got written up for manufactured reasons, I don't trust the system very much.
Well, I'm going to lay down, tomorrow I think I'll try that placement agency again. At least maybe I can get something temporary while I'm looking for something permanent. And a lot of those jobs are temp to perm, so if they like you they may keep you. But I think there is a whole lot of competition for those jobs and it can be difficult. Even when I talked to the lady about it she said they always tell people not to rely on only them for jobs. Anyway, I'm babbling now (no pun intended) so I'm going to go lay down. I'll talk to yall later.
-T
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 22, 2008, at 10:08:40
In reply to Pdoc visit, posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 9:45:02
Sending you my support too. When my pdoc put me on leave it did help me, short term. Let me regroup a bit. I hope this does the same for you.
Take care, sweetie.
Partly
Posted by Kath on July 22, 2008, at 19:01:39
In reply to Pdoc visit, posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 9:45:02
That sounds like good advice about the ADD, I think. I had a 'twinge' about it before, that I didn't pay any attention to & when you mentioned it, I realized I'd been concerned that they might use it against you.
I'm glad you were able to be so open with the HR lady. She sounds fair. But what's the saying - 'once bitten, twice shy' - I can see how you'd not trust anything.
Know that you're in my thoughts.
:-) luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 19:46:31
In reply to Re: Pdoc visit » TexasChic, posted by Partlycloudy on July 22, 2008, at 10:08:40
> Sending you my support too. When my pdoc put me on leave it did help me, short term. Let me regroup a bit. I hope this does the same for you.
>
> Take care, sweetie.
> PartlyI think it will be helpful for me too, my only concern is my boss having an attitude about it when I return (or calling me with an attitude within the next couple of days). But I guess if I'm to be honest, she can't really do much worse to me than she has already. Hopefully I will be able to return with renewed strength ready to fact all the crap that's going to thrown at me, at least until I get out of there.
There's a couple of things I keep thinking to myself that kind of help out. The first is directed at my coworker who is standing by watching all this go on when she knows its wrong and knows she could step in a make a difference. To her I say, "When this is over, I will have a clean conscious and know I did the very best I could, and I will get a fresh start. YOU however, will have to live with what you've done, and your prize will be to have Psychoboss ALL TO YOURSELF!"
To my boss I say, "You have no idea how much everyone dislikes you, or has so little respect for you. You are one crazy *ss bitch who must be terribly unhappy inside - its gotta suck to be you".
I think it may be time to rewatch "Office Space".
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 21:14:34
In reply to Re: Pdoc visit » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 22, 2008, at 19:01:39
> That sounds like good advice about the ADD, I think. I had a 'twinge' about it before, that I didn't pay any attention to & when you mentioned it, I realized I'd been concerned that they might use it against you.
That's the thing, its legally a disability and illegal for them to use it against me. And my HR lady is the one who suggested it saying then my boss would have to accommodate me. I tried to explain what the doctor said, but it was like talking in circles. She just kept saying, "But how do we know how we could accommodate you without the doctor writing us a note about it?"
> I'm glad you were able to be so open with the HR lady. She sounds fair. But what's the saying - 'once bitten, twice shy' - I can see how you'd not trust anything.
Well, I don't know if its that I'm able to be open with her so much as I'm at my wits end and just saying it like it is. Ever since our first meeting, when she seemed somewhat compassionate, she is now very indifferent and standoffish. So who knows what's going on. I've got to get back into the job hunting game and try to remember how pathetic and ridiculous these people I work with are.
-T
Posted by maree on July 23, 2008, at 0:48:51
In reply to Re: Bullies » TexasChic, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2008, at 12:06:55
This is probably an aside, but I have always thought that bullies tend to be people who are very insecure in their own position, whether at work, socially, whatever.
They seem to think that the more people they push down beneath them, the higher they rise. So if they see someone who they think they can dominate, then they go for it, as a special project.
I was bullied at school, in my mid twenties, at one place of work; and now, that I am disabled, I attract bullies wherever I go. I have never been someone who is popular, so nobody has ever bothered to stand up for me, nor do I have much self confidence, particularly not now. I am a prime target for a bully, because there is no way that I can hurt them, this turning the other cheek thing, ignoring them, certainly does not work, it just encourages them to double their efforts.
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:02:55
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by maree on July 23, 2008, at 0:48:51
> This is probably an aside, but I have always thought that bullies tend to be people who are very insecure in their own position, whether at work, socially, whatever.
> They seem to think that the more people they push down beneath them, the higher they rise. So if they see someone who they think they can dominate, then they go for it, as a special project.From what I've read, that is exactly the case. They usually pick on people that are intelligent and do well at their job.
> I was bullied at school, in my mid twenties, at one place of work; and now, that I am disabled, I attract bullies wherever I go. I have never been someone who is popular, so nobody has ever bothered to stand up for me, nor do I have much self confidence, particularly not now.
Wow, I'm sorry you've had to experience that, I can certainly empathize with you. But one thing I've found out is, even when you do have 'friends', these people usually desert you when the bullying starts. At least that's been a continuous pattern for me. I'm sure that's in no small part due to the fact that if you stick up for someone else being bullied, then they turn on you (that's happened to me too).
>I am a prime target for a bully, because there is no way that I can hurt them, this turning the other cheek thing, ignoring them, certainly does not work, it just encourages them to double their efforts.
I agree wholeheartedly with that. Not that I would suggest a full on fist fight, but when you ignore them, which is exactly how I handle it, they seem to thrive on it.
Thanks for writing, I don't know if I've ever spoken with you or not, I have a hard time remembering all the babble names, but I appreciate your input.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by maree on July 23, 2008, at 0:48:51
I have an appointment on Friday. Yea! I haven't had the best of luck with these places in the past, but at least its a step forward. Besides, its been many years since I've tried one, so things very well may have improved since then.
I also called back the guy who called me for an interview about a month ago, but I waited about two weeks to call him back because I was intimidated by the Managerial title of the job. When I called two weeks ago he wasn't in, so I left a message. Today he wasn't in either, but I left a more detail message and told him I'd been trying to get a hold of him without success. I've seen the job still being advertised so I know its still available.
So there you go, baby steps. And I have to admit, when I was on the phone, even though I felt nervous, I was able to speak intelligently and not go blank on what I wanted to say. So whether or not its the ADD med or the ER Xanax I don't know, but it was a good feeling to actually be able to express what's in my head without mumbling and stumbling and long pauses, and saying "ummm" a lot.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:18:52
In reply to Called the placement agency, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 23, 2008, at 14:55:46
In reply to Called the placement agency, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
Great to see you going forward - these aren't baby steps at all, but leaps and bounds. I'm glad the medication is doing its job; that's what it's there for.
Partlycloudy
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:01:20
In reply to Re: Bullies » maree, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:02:55
I think bullies need to be stood up to in order to stop.
I haven't had to deal with many, but those I have - when they're stood up to, it's almost like they recognize 'one of their own' & know they can't continue to bully.
Maybe it doesn't always work.
Kath
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:03:08
In reply to Called the placement agency, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:14:29
> I have an appointment on Friday. Yea! I haven't had the best of luck with these places in the past, but at least its a step forward. Besides, its been many years since I've tried one, so things very well may have improved since then.
>
> I also called back the guy who called me for an interview about a month ago, but I waited about two weeks to call him back because I was intimidated by the Managerial title of the job. When I called two weeks ago he wasn't in, so I left a message. Today he wasn't in either, but I left a more detail message and told him I'd been trying to get a hold of him without success. I've seen the job still being advertised so I know its still available.
>
> So there you go, baby steps. And I have to admit, when I was on the phone, even though I felt nervous, I was able to speak intelligently and not go blank on what I wanted to say. So whether or not its the ADD med or the ER Xanax I don't know, but it was a good feeling to actually be able to express what's in my head without mumbling and stumbling and long pauses, and saying "ummm" a lot.
>
> -Tthat's wonderful TC. luv, Kath
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:06:24
In reply to P.S. My boss hasn't called yet - I'm a bit worried (nm), posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 14:18:52
Maybe she won't
If she does, maybe you can imagine something like:
HEY! You're on MY turf now, baby. You hold no power over me.
I don't know if something like that would help.
Maybe even take it to the extent of pretending that you don't have to say ANYthing to her or answer ANY of her questions & take a deep breath after she speaks & before you do.
luv, Kath best of luck.
PS - you don't need to furnish her with medical details. You can do a 'broken record' of "it's a medical issue" even, if she asks again or in a different way, "thanks for your concern, but it's a medical issue" & change the subject.
You might NOT want to say the 'thanks for your concern' part.K
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:07:36
In reply to Re: Pdoc visit » Partlycloudy, posted by TexasChic on July 22, 2008, at 19:46:31
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 16:09:42
In reply to Re: P.S. My boss hasn't called yet - I'm a bit worried » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 15:06:24
I actually wrote down, "Thanks for your concern, but its a medical issue". Thats much better then the only thing I could think of which was, "Its none of your business". Thanks!!!!
-T
Posted by Kath on July 23, 2008, at 16:22:24
In reply to Re: P.S. My boss hasn't called yet - I'm a bit wor » Kath, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 16:09:42
> I actually wrote down, "Thanks for your concern, but its a medical issue". Thats much better then the only thing I could think of which was, "Its none of your business". Thanks!!!!
>
> -T
LOL - you're welcome!! :-)))) good luck, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 16:29:56
In reply to Re: Called the placement agency » TexasChic, posted by Partlycloudy on July 23, 2008, at 14:55:46
> Great to see you going forward - these aren't baby steps at all, but leaps and bounds.
Do you really think so? I've been feeling guilty about sitting around all day. I felt like those two phone calls were the least I could do. I've been trying to psych myself up to do something more, but I really don't feel up to it.
>I'm glad the medication is doing its job; that's what it's there for.
Me too, maybe it will help me strengthen my invisible Super-Toxic-People-Shield when I go back in next week. I'm still working on the name.
-T
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 23, 2008, at 17:10:55
In reply to Re: Called the placement agency » Partlycloudy, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 16:29:56
> > Great to see you going forward - these aren't baby steps at all, but leaps and bounds.
>
> Do you really think so? I've been feeling guilty about sitting around all day. I felt like those two phone calls were the least I could do. I've been trying to psych myself up to do something more, but I really don't feel up to it.
>Well, sweetie - your doctor gave you those days off for a reason, because you needed them. They weren't expressly for you to be doing a job search. You're under some severe stress right now. He recognized that.
> >I'm glad the medication is doing its job; that's what it's there for.
>
> Me too, maybe it will help me strengthen my invisible Super-Toxic-People-Shield when I go back in next week. I'm still working on the name.
>
> -TSounds like a super power I could use, too!
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 21:17:05
In reply to Re: Called the placement agency » TexasChic, posted by Partlycloudy on July 23, 2008, at 17:10:55
You're right. I guess I feel like I like I'm playing hooky or something though. I am trying to push that negative thought away though and just relax.
-T
Posted by Kath on July 24, 2008, at 18:20:04
In reply to Re: Called the placement agency » Partlycloudy, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2008, at 21:17:05
A medical health-care-professional was of the opinion that you needed time off.
Plain & simple. You're under a tremendous amount of stress; were under what I see as a personal attack, of sorts.
Puleeeez pamper & nurture yourself. You definitely deserve it. If you're able to make a few calls, etc, that's great. Otherwise, let your meds kick in (which it sounds like they're doing) & take loving care of yourself.
You don't need to prove anything to anyone - or BE anyone to anyone (even yourself). Just try to be loving to yourself, okay?
xoxox ((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))) Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 24, 2008, at 19:36:47
In reply to You're not playing hookie.... » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 24, 2008, at 18:20:04
Thanks Kath. You know, its funny, on my regular days off I lay around and don't have the energy to do anything. But with this extended time off, I've actually begun to relax, and I find myself wanting to do things like get the laundry done or organize my closet. And just because I want to! Weird huh?
-T
Posted by Kath on July 24, 2008, at 20:17:52
In reply to Re: You're not playing hookie.... » Kath, posted by TexasChic on July 24, 2008, at 19:36:47
> Thanks Kath. You know, its funny, on my regular days off I lay around and don't have the energy to do anything. But with this extended time off, I've actually begun to relax, and I find myself wanting to do things like get the laundry done or organize my closet. And just because I want to! Weird huh?
>
> -T*****Actually, I don't think it's weird because you have regular stresses lifted off your shoulders. You're FREEEEEE for a bit! I think I can understand that you'd feel like doing things.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxo Kath
Posted by TexasChic on July 25, 2008, at 20:00:42
In reply to Re: You're not playing hookie.... » TexasChic, posted by Kath on July 24, 2008, at 20:17:52
Well, first of all between trying to hook up my printer to my computer, and trying to hook up my DVD player to my TV (my cable and internet are together) I managed to screw up my internet. After fiddling around for longer than I'd like to admit, I finally got up and going, but its not the same browser I'm used to so its irritating.
Now that I've whined, I actually had some good things today. First of all, I went to the interview at that placement agency. It went well, but they didn't have any jobs that fit me at the moment. Its one of those things that's not something you would solely depend on to get a job, but its one more thing working for you, and every little bit helps.
The second thing is, weeks ago this guy called me about a managerial job. I didn't think it sounded like something I could possibly be qualified for, so I held off calling a few days. Then when I did call I never heard back from him. Well today he called and wants me to interview Monday or Tuesday! He apologized for not getting back to me for so long, but said they are still looking for someone if I'm interested. So we'll see how it goes!
Oh yeah, I called the lady from the University job and her voicemail said she was out until Tuesday, so that may be why I haven't heard anything yet. Keep your fingers crossed!!!
-T
Posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2008, at 20:34:43
In reply to Couple of updates..., posted by TexasChic on July 25, 2008, at 20:00:42
T hey that sounds great fingers and toes crossed for you. Phillipa
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