![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 5 to 29 of 29. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phillipa on February 2, 2008, at 11:26:54
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 8:28:50
Happyflower are there people who want to kill you seriously or is it just a thought. I hope you are very safe and your children or teens too. And Lurpsie I try to always forgive and then have to forget or it would fester. hense ex and I always got along. After the divorce three kids it was and is the right thing to do. I learned this from second hubby was older than me and had learned it with his first marriage. He'd go out to dinner with his ex. Love Phillipa
Posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 15:10:31
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by Phillipa on February 2, 2008, at 11:26:54
I believe my mom wouldn't think twice, she has threatened about killing my husband, so I can be all alone and know how it feels. I have safe guards in place, my kids know not to answer the door if they don't know who it is. My mom knows how to change her looks so it is scary.
I think until one has to live through this, to really know what it is like to live with a untreated psychopath and to know the fear. My birthday is coming up and that is usually when she decides to appear in some form. It pisses me off that she has that much control over me and can easily make me feel very threatened. If someone lived the childhood I have, they would NEVER wish that upon anyone. But like my mom, you just don't ever know who you are really dealing with, when will their dark side really appear, there are signs though. The more I study about it, the more thankful I am alive today.
There are some groups of people I will not feel comfortable working with as a T, no matter how much training or desentization. My T avoids certain kinds of cases because he knows it is extremely hard to be objective, especially when you hear of the tortures they inflict on others and can laugh about it like it doesn't mean anything, they have no remorse, like my mom. My T says that is okay, you have to know you and what you can work with, the field is huge, most T's have a group they are less successful with and shouldn't work with, if they are honest with themselves.
I wish I could be naive again and believe there are good in everyone, but the world keeps proving me wrong. There is a LOT of good in the world, just not from everyone in my view. I lived with one that proved me that there wasn't nothing but evil inside. It is sad that she isn't the only case.
Posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 15:17:24
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not, posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 15:10:31
So I guess what I am getting at, sorry it is getting so long winded, is that my mom seemed like a very good person to a lot of people, oh, yeah she saved lives as a EMT, she worked with disabled, blah, blah, blah. The thing is, they are VERY good at putting on a mask, to get whatever they want. It is hard to explain on what you experience living with someone like that. I just don't see the good, even if they pretend and have a lot of people believe them, and then torture another human, especially your own children. What is scary is that so many people fall for the con, and that can get someone hurt if you aren't careful.
Posted by Kath on February 2, 2008, at 15:19:28
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not, posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 15:10:31
((((((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))))))))))))
and ((((((((((your inner lovely little girl)))))))
I am so very sorry about your mother. Nobody deserves to have to go through that as a child & continue to go through it still.
So you have any sort of legal restraint order in place, or would that do any good? Sometimes I guess there might be cases where to do that would only provoke the other person. I'm glad you've trained your children to be safe from her.
I send you loving thoughts.
Kath
Posted by Kath on February 2, 2008, at 15:21:53
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by Phillipa on February 2, 2008, at 11:26:54
Phillipa, I admire that about you. It took me years to be able to talk with my ex much. Funny thing is that the 'closest' we've been (meaning, I guess, able to talk in a more 'real' eay) was during & since my son's hospitalization for psychosis out in BC (where ex lives) last Dec/Jan.
I hope you're proud of that part of yourself Phillipa.
luv, kath
Posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 15:39:43
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by Kath on February 2, 2008, at 15:19:28
Thanks Kath,
I have talked to my lawyer a few years ago about getting a protection order, but it is very hard to get one, if the person hasn't actually DID anything to you physically for the last 7 years. They can threaten, stalk you, and as long as they don't lay a hand on you, there is not much legally you can do. But the thing is, you are right, it wouldn't stop them anyway. They usually aren't too concerned with the law, if they want to hurt someone, they will . It is hard to understand the fear that causes in victims of abuse, especially if it was ritual abuse. I wish I could see good in everyone, but I just don't see how anyone could see good in EVERYONE, if they have even been a victim of abuse or a violent crime. There are LOTS of good people, but I don't believe everyone has good inside, but that is just what I have experienced if I look at my life and what I have been through, and the stuff I am studying, I can really see the dark side of some humans. What is scary is when the dark side is hidden with a mask. Thanks for your support, Kath.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on February 2, 2008, at 17:57:08
In reply to Learning who your friends are and are not, posted by Happyflower on February 1, 2008, at 19:04:05
Hi Happyf,
I know that your mom was a very very sick woman. That cannot be disputed.The other half of your post is about friendship though. What it means to have friends and recognize qualities that we admire in our friends. I have two hard questions, and maybe it's not fair for me to post them, but I want to get to know you better. Feel free to ignore them if they are irrelevant or you don't want to answer...
1) You said that when you were my age (29) you would have believed that there is at least a shred of good in everybody -- what changed since then?
2) Do you think that your relationship with your mom forms a model for forming all types of friendships, some types of friendships or none at all?
I figured out that I have a friend in the area. Now I'm gonna go hang out with her for coffee.
(((((((((happyflower))))))))))
thanks for talking about hard stuff.
-Ll
Posted by rskontos on February 2, 2008, at 18:45:37
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by llurpsienoodle on February 2, 2008, at 17:57:08
Happyflower,
I am even older than you, and i would tend to agree. I will go one further though. I believe there is good and bad in each person, I believe that in some the bad just is stronger and either overpowers or becomes the overwhelming influence. I know my mother had good in her, yet she never displayed it to her own kids. SHe did to others. I saw it my sisters saw it and we often wondered what did we do to not deserve it. She is dead now and we cannot ask her. Maybe she was just too ill to give it too us. She I think was BPD but she could be cruel and my sister would just said she was a *itch. Whatever she was she had many sides, and they were usually just scary. yet to the outside world she was very different. And she changed us forever. We are all different due to her and my father for the way they handled having children.
It made me feel very much like you. No, not when I was younger, but now I feel more like you do. I have found friends that I trust but unfortunately due to her and my father only to a certain point. To a certain point no one gets past. I think if I answer Ll question for me it would be what changed was the layering of hurts on top of each other. To the point no one seem trustworthy enough to trust with much of anything. Most people became aquaintances. They were, unfortunately, tested with minor information, and based on that, it would be seen if I could go farther. I tip toed around people. But eventually, I just shut down most all communication and opening up. It just got too hard. I know my mother and father influenced how i handle all types of relationships and I am now hoping therapy can help me mend some of that. Maybe not all, but some.
rsk
Posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 19:53:31
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by llurpsienoodle on February 2, 2008, at 17:57:08
> 1) You said that when you were my age (29) you would have believed that there is at least a shred of good in everybody -- what changed since then?
Well for one I grew up, had kids, family life, etc. I stopped believing in the ideals I wish would be and got out into the real world and was faced with reality and had my blinders taken off. It is amazing how one will change, even in 10 years and the choices you make do change.
For you who believes there is good in everybody, would you believe that if somebody raped you and beaten you up within an inch of your life? What if you were a mother, and someone did that to your children, suppose they actually killed them, would you feel the same? I used to believe a lot of things in 20's that I no longer believe. Life changes you and how you view the world, especially after you have kids.
I used to believe that women can go as high as men in our careers. Some can, but I also saw the reality of how some do get there, not all, but some, and it isn't pretty. But I also saw how the world isn't equal, and sometimes you can't do much about it, it is the real world. You can try to fight it, like I always thought I would, but then you realize you might lose your job and be black flagged in your career area. It felt great to be young and believe you can change the world, but you can't change people, people have been doing really bad things forever, and I don't believe it will change.
I don't know if you ever had a full time job professionally, I have, and the idealistic views I had in my 20's came crashing down pretty fast when I started to work for a living, not just a job, but for my future.
Another thing, I used to believe we could stop child labor in remote countries, countries that make most of US goods. We thought everyone would follow our idealistic goals and views. Well you know what, when my husband went to China to have some drums designed for his company, they wouldn't let him take pictures of the factories, you know why? Because the majority of the workers were around age 7-12. What I thought in my 20's about life, was way different now that I am older.
You have been in school for most of your life, longer than most people, and while I think that is very good, education is great, but you also aren't in the actual real world working for a living, you are in a more sheltered and forgiving environment. Being in college is a lot different than working for a living, raising a family, etc. I know it seems like it was very hard, but once you become a mom or start working for a living, you will see how hard the real world really is harder. It is something that most of us have to go through. So to answer your question, I think growing up has a lot to do with why I think differently now.
Now I do think people can change, but they have to want to do it. People like my mom doesn't even believe there is anything wrong with them. As for if my mom did any good, well if you count the manipulative masks of fake goodness she did to get what she wanted, to control others, it may look good on the outside, but I am not sure if that really counts as being good. If it is manipulation and fake, does that count?
> 2) Do you think that your relationship with your mom forms a model for forming all types of friendships, some types of friendships or none at all?
I think as a child, she had much control over everything I did. I lost friends because of our weird household, they weren't allowed to spend the night anymore. As for modeling, nothing she did model was good, and since I do not parent like she did, I would say there is very little influence other than to do the opposite. But I did learn that people can be nasty, and the signs of someone being like my mom, scares the sh*t out of me, and I try to avoid being friends with people like her, so I am more sensitive to characteristics my mom had with being a psychopath, and I do what I can to avoid that in others.There are different levels of friendships of course, but there are some I don't welcome as friends, because they are hurtful and manipulative. There are many people in the world, I choose not to spend time with people that could kill me or abuse me. Now that I am out and about, I have a lot of different kinds of friends on many levels and ages. But they are mutually sharing and caring, not one sided.
But do I choose to hang out with my old tax guy who is known for stalking in the area, who called my house several times a day because he believed I could love him because I really wasn't in love with my DH because he so much older? Someone who is on the website for sexual crimes, is not someone I choose to talk to at the gym when I see him. Why would I put myself at risk? To prove there is good in him somewhere? I don't have time for that or think it is worth my time.
So I guess I could say I don't model my friendship around my relationship with my mom, because first of all there is no relationship with her and second, I saw really bad things she did to so called her friends. And if I see others who behave in that manner, I do try to avoid them. But no, my life is much different than what she modeled. But did she have influence when I was younger, yes. I saw her go from job to job, from friend to friend, move from place to place once she wasn't able to control those she was around. I am glad I am not like that, but then again I am not a psychopath either, so that makes a difference, I couldn't do what she does if I wanted to.
Growing up the way I did, If anything I learned a sensitivity to people, and care a who lot about people that is why many tell me in my real life they think I will make a good T. My T told me this week that I could never be like my mom, because I am sensitive to others, and knows what it feels like to be abused and used, and so I don't do that, couldn't do that. But will I stay away from unsafe people, yes, I have children who want me in their lives. People who know me know I have a huge heart and would do almost anything to help a someone, but not if it put me and my children at risk. There are people out in the world that are very scary, and wouldn't think twice about killing or hurting you, I think it is smart to be careful, and being a parent, even extra careful because you don't want to put your own kids at risk either.
So I say love with your whole heart, but be careful, not everyone is goodhearted.
You tend to take less risks with people when you have something worth being careful for, your children and your family. That is something that it is hard to understand until you are actual living that situation.
I remember you writing about getting beaten up at work, when you are mother someday, I doubt you would take risky jobs like that especially when there are other types of jobs in the same field.
> I figured out that I have a friend in the area. Now I'm gonna go hang out with her for coffee.
>
> (((((((((happyflower))))))))))
>
> thanks for talking about hard stuff.
>
> -Ll
Posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 20:39:57
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not /HF, posted by rskontos on February 2, 2008, at 18:45:37
I think I used to trust too easily because I wanted to believe people are good, but would get hurt over and over. Now I see the signs and characteristics of what I want to avoid an I do, to protect my heart. I tend to over trust people, but now that I am older, I am more careful of who I trust. But I can still trust fully, but I think it takes time with people. You give them a little more of your trust each time you can, and eventually you find that you trust them. Now I did that with my old T, and I saw what happened there. But I have 2 very good close friends who accept me for me, and who have been there for me, and me for them. They want friendship as much as me and it is cool. Now I have a lot more friends who are more casual, I see at school, friendly crazy type. I have some that I have developed deeper levels with at the gym, but I can't get too involved because they are my old T's friends too, so I hold back a little. I do think most people are good, I really do, of course we are all capable of hurting others, but some center their lives around it. When it is done to children, it really pisses me off. But it feels better to be an adult now because I don't have to put up with that anymore, I am free at least physically. My mom is still a threat who could show up at my door at any time. Even my currentT, who plans on moving to that state she is in now, only a few miles away from where he grew up and wants to go back to, it scares him to have her so close, and my old T said she is one scary bitch, so I don't think many thing too differently than me, some people you just need to stay away from.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on February 2, 2008, at 20:45:21
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » llurpsienoodle, posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 19:53:31
Wow, thanks happyflower! I think you wrote a whole essay :)
> So I say love with your whole heart, but be careful, not everyone is goodhearted.
> You tend to take less risks with people when you have something worth being careful for, your children and your family. That is something that it is hard to understand until you are actual living that situation.
> I remember you writing about getting beaten up at work, when you are mother someday, I doubt you would take risky jobs like that especially when there are other types of jobs in the same field.
>
Of course, this is just a stepping stone. But it IS good to know how to behave around people who are very unstable to the point that they want to assault others. It's one thing to know how to survive this as a kid, and another thing to realize that as an adult, I actually AM in charge here, and that I don't have to tolerate abuse from anybody.as for academia being a sheltered existence... try to survive on 15K in Chicago with insane (I'm talking about actual Dx, here-- not colloquially) professors who control the future of your career. It made me crazy, and I'm not the only one either...
Posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 20:57:57
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on February 2, 2008, at 20:45:21
I really need to stop talking about my mom right
now, my T wants me to sit with the emotional feelings my mom caused this week, and not to intellectize my feelings, because that is a form of avoidance for me. But this is getting to be too much right now, I like it better when I could pretend it didn't happen, I got good at that, it is better than feeling the pain. I am sorry but I have to go away for awhile. I need the EMDR to take away all the sh*t, I need my T right now.
Posted by jammerlich on February 2, 2008, at 21:01:04
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 20:57:57
Posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 21:10:42
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on February 2, 2008, at 20:45:21
> as for academia being a sheltered existence... try to survive on 15K in Chicago with insane (I'm talking about actual Dx, here-- not colloquially) professors who control the future of your career. It made me crazy, and I'm not the only one either...
>
The thing is, that you will have that when you start working full time too, but you have less leisure of the hours you want to work, much less control and if you have a family you also have a huge responsibility on top of that. You also had your husbands income and insurance too, that helped. I am not saying what you lived was easy, but having a family is way more responsibility and hard work than being in college, and the mother who work full time, is even more responsibility and stress. When you find yourself there sometime soon, you will wish for the leisure days of college again, days where you can do nothing if you choose, stay up late at night because you don't have to get up at a certain time in the morning to get ready for work, or get your kids ready for school, you might not believe me, I know I wouldn't either at your age, but life has a cruel way of teaching us these things. lol
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 0:41:57
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Happyflower on February 2, 2008, at 21:10:42
I've been a working mother and a full time student. As stressful as life is now, it was a lot more stressful then. I would never want to go back, and I don't envy my son having to go through it.
Being a somewhat self sufficient adult has brought me a freedom that I never had as a student. The world is so much bigger now than then. Of course, high school was even worse than college for me, because high school was even more insular. The sun rose and set over a very small group of people, and my goals were very focused.
Everyone's experience is different of course, and my experiences may not mirror those of others. I've heard many people wax nostalgic about university years. To me it was a time of perfectionistic striving and very little self tolerance. My peer group was small and held greater power than they would have on me as an adult out of school.
I do of course realize that I am very fortunate in a husband, and that without him I might feel very differently.
Posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 6:06:50
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 0:41:57
I guess for me, I am a student and a mother now, and I look at how much easier it would be if I was just a student, how much free time to actually choose when I wanted to study, time for spontaneous get together with friends. I have also been a full time student while working 40plus hours a week too. Being a mom sure took a lot of that freedom away of doing what you want when you want it, having a full time job is the same way really.
College is hard work, I know that, but if that is all you have to do, for me it is way easier than being a working mom because your job as mom is a 24hour one, plus if you are married, that is a another thing in it's self of time and responsiblity to that relationship. When you have kids, you can't put yourself first all the time. College for me is hard but compared to being a good mom, it is a piece of cake, at least for me. I study when I can, and still get A's and am one of the top students in my class, on top of all my other responsibilities of motherhood, and for me to think if that is all I had to do, wow all the time I would have. lol I guess every person experiences things different, maybe having 2 kids and 3 stepkids, and I homeschool my kids, but I haven't always done that, made it different for me. I wouldn't want it easier if it meant I wasn't a mother, that is something I love.My classes only take up 8 hours a week fulltime, and then if I study for 8 hours a week,( which that may be during finals week only) that leaves a lot of time, and I too want the A's and get them. If I wasn't a mom or worked full time that sure would leave a lot of time of partying, lol.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on February 3, 2008, at 6:52:03
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 6:06:50
College was fun, I guess. I was playing violin about 20 hours a week and taking a premed courseload with labs and things, and working at the same time because my parents stopped supporting me when I turned 18.
I admire parents who actually think enough about their kids' future to put a little aside for their education. That is really really commendable :)
But grad school was hell. the first 3 years I had to support me and h on a 15k stipend, so of course we had to work and we barely saw each other.
As an adult, I feel a lot more freedom. There is more disposable income, which means that I can actually afford to go to a restaurant now and then. I can afford to travel, which is one of my life dreams (and certainly something to do before having kids). My h and I live off of a modest but comfy income. at the end of the day, though, it is not about money, it's about time. I am blessed with time. Too much time, in fact. But I know from working at the coffeeshop that my mind and body are not ready for full-time employment. I wouldn't mind it, but I just am not able to do that right now along with my post-doc training program. (speaking of which I have HW to do, yikes)
I don't want to set up some sort of heirarchy of suffering, I just wanted to say that I am very optimistic about the future. Some days that's all I can be optimistic about. Even my quilting project has gotten me down these last few days (grrrr I hate binding a quilt. it's torture!)
and I think I have time to repolish my nails before work begins!
-Ll
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 9:10:26
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 6:06:50
> My classes only take up 8 hours a week fulltime, and then if I study for 8 hours a week,( which that may be during finals week only) that leaves a lot of time, and I too want the A's and get them. If I wasn't a mom or worked full time that sure would leave a lot of time of partying, lol.
It sounds as if you probably have more natural intelligence than I do. I seem to remember having to work a lot harder to get straight A's. Not everyone is so fortunate as to find schoolwork so easy. My part time job and full time school was as much as I could handle, with no room left for partying at all.
You homeschool your children, and take a full courseload? The choice to homeschool would be more than I could handle all by itself. I think it's absolutely wonderful that you can do all these things and excel.
Posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 11:22:22
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 9:10:26
> It sounds as if you probably have more natural intelligence than I do. I seem to remember having to work a lot harder to get straight A's. Not everyone is so fortunate as to find schoolwork so easy. My part time job and full time school was as much as I could handle, with no room left for partying at all.
Not sure about the natural intelligence, lol. I know when I was growing up I got C's on purpose because of my mom, she would get jealous, and make my life hell, I would even change my grades on my report card to make them lower. I find now that I have to work harder to retain info than when I was younger. I guess I start early in the semester, and study gradually each week before a test ( I can't cram) but I have this huge desire to learn as much as possible. I am paying big bucks you know, but I am going to be applying for some scholarships to help. I didn't realize there is all that free money they give out! I think I will be applying for 30 of them, lol.
Homeschooling is actually easier than you might think, but my kids love to learn like me, so I don't have problems with them studying and I get along with them great. We do field trips when I don't have school, this semester my classes are just on 2 days. I also try to balance my hard subject with the easier ones and I have at least one class I really want to take to keep myself motivated. Our public school where I live are failing miserablly, only 30 % are passing the ISTEP, and they have about a 50% graduation rate. When my daughter was in the 1st grade, she spent half her day in the library. The school had no money for field trips or anything extra, so I feel they are getting a more rounded education, with time to study things that interest them the most. They play after school with other kids, so it works well. I also school them all year, with one week breaks built in. But I do plan on them attending public high school in a short time. This is when I will be in graduate school, so the timing will work out great. The grad program I am looking at pays 25,000 stipend and pays for all school classes and room and board (applied to my morgage) which are over 1500 a credit hour. Plus it is in my own backyard. lol
> You homeschool your children, and take a full courseload? The choice to homeschool would be more than I could handle all by itself. I think it's absolutely wonderful that you can do all these things and excel.
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 18:20:49
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 11:22:22
My son is great, and smart, and he enjoys learning. But I am notoriously bad at explaining things. At the office someone will ask for help and then say "Oh no, someone other than Dinah!" In high school it was the same way. People only asked me for help once, then never again. I'd get frustrated, and he'd get frustrated.
But...
I was so miserable in sixth through ninth grades that if he were ever that miserable, I'd be happy to homeschool. No one should have to go what I went through at school.
Posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 18:33:34
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 18:20:49
amen to that!
The thing is my son and daughter are different kind of learners so I have had to tailor to each of them in teaching. What is cool is seeing their excitement about learning. I saw that initial excitement fade by the time 1st grade was over, it wasn't cool to be smart or to learn. Thank goodness she turned around on that. And maybe my kids are geeks now, but they actually like the discovery channel and national geographic! lol Well they will have to learn their coolness in high school, because I am still learning the college way and by then, it will be old school for them. ;-) Maybe the 80's sayings will come back, then it will be awesome because I will understand it. lol
Posted by llurpsienoodle on February 4, 2008, at 8:29:10
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 18:33:34
yeah, middle school was AWFUL!
I think it's *awesome* that you are sparing your kids that misery.
And no they are not geeks for liking the discovery or nat'l geographic channel. Some people really enjoy multimedia experience when they learn. These shows make it really easy to learn new ideas and take virtual trips around the world. Sometimes in science or history class we would watch segments from shows.
I remember watching the entire Civil War series by Ken Burns when I was younger. I was mesmerized...
but then, this is coming from a self-proclaimed geek. I even have a tshirt- "geeks are hot" just to dispel any stereotypes that exist about geeks' hotness.
My favorite history teacher in HS drilled into our heads "The Purpose of Education is to Teach Young People how to Think". I think your kids are well on their way to being great thinkers, rather than little sponges for jeopardy trivia...
best,
-Ll
sorry if my earlier comments were harsh. I think I got carried away with somethingerother.
Posted by sunnydays on February 5, 2008, at 19:22:59
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 9:10:26
Oh my god... college is SOOOOOO much work. Full time student. I go to class probably 5 hours a day. Not that bad. But the studying takes up almost every moment of free time, plus a part time job. I do have time now and again to spend an hour or two in the evening to do something fun, and I think college kids have a lot more flexibility in scheduling their time, but I think college is HARD. I am longing to get out to the 'real world'. I just see it as a different kind of hard that will be less taxing of my mental energies and a different kind of stress that's more concrete. There's so much abstract stress in college... about grades, the future... it gets hard to handle.
sunnydays
Posted by Happyflower on February 7, 2008, at 22:19:01
In reply to Re: Learning who your friends are and are not, posted by sunnydays on February 5, 2008, at 19:22:59
I am glad for everyone input, when it come down to it, we all are different, yup! and that is cool. If we were all the same, well you know...
Posted by rskontos on February 10, 2008, at 16:58:08
In reply to Thanks everyone, posted by Happyflower on February 7, 2008, at 22:19:01
Yeah, you do learn the hard way sometimes who your friends are. rsk
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