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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 2 to 26 of 26. Go back in thread:
Posted by Jo U.K on January 22, 2007, at 8:15:59
In reply to Hopeless and futile..., posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 4:09:26
Hi Meri, just wanted to say, you often post supportive stuff to others and I hope you are feeling better today. How bout a walk in the fresh air/read a distracting book/watch a comedy? Basic things but they can lift the mood sometimes.
Regards, Jo
Posted by ClearSkies on January 22, 2007, at 8:19:16
In reply to Hopeless and futile..., posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 4:09:26
This sounds like a good time for self nurturing. If you can take a day, or half a day, give it to yourself as a gift. Curl up on the sofa with a warm fuzzy (blanket, pet, person), a cup of tea, and either the tv remote in the other hand, or a book. Hunker down and give yourself this virtual hug.
I find that trying to fight how I'm feeling makes me worse, and then I feel guilty on top of hopeless and futile.
I hope you're doing better soon.
ClearSkies
Posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 8:35:44
In reply to Hopeless and futile..., posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 4:09:26
> I'm feeling particulary hopeless and futile today. I lay in bed for an hour and a half thinking about the hopelessness of everything, and in particular, my life. I'm very unmotivated at the moment, which isn't good as I'm in grad school....Sigh.
>
> Any help would be grately received!
>
> Kind regards
>
> MeriFriends,
It is written here,[...hopeless and futile...help...].
The aspect of hopelessness and futility has the potential IMO to consider {what hope is} and how someone could >obtain< hope.
In offering support and education {from my perspective} to those attempting to find hope, I ask if the hope that one is trying to find is something that:
A.will enable one to triunph over difficulties?
B.will give encouragement?
C.will open up a path to happiness?
and,
D.what will the hope be in?
E.will hope be obtained by taking a chemical into your system?
F. will hope be obtained by finding out what hope is?
G. will hope be obtained by good news?
H. will hope be obtained by psychotherapy?
K. will hope be obtained in another way?
Lou
Posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 9:13:19
In reply to Lou's response to aspects of Meri's post-hopanfut, posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 8:35:44
> > I'm feeling particulary hopeless and futile today. I lay in bed for an hour and a half thinking about the hopelessness of everything, and in particular, my life. I'm very unmotivated at the moment, which isn't good as I'm in grad school....Sigh.
> >
> > Any help would be grately received!
> >
> > Kind regards
> >
> > Meri
>
> Friends,
> It is written here,[...hopeless and futile...help...].
> The aspect of hopelessness and futility has the potential IMO to consider {what hope is} and how someone could >obtain< hope.
> In offering support and education {from my perspective} to those attempting to find hope, I ask if the hope that one is trying to find is something that:
> A.will enable one to triunph over difficulties?
> B.will give encouragement?
> C.will open up a path to happiness?
> and,
> D.what will the hope be in?
> E.will hope be obtained by taking a chemical into your system?
> F. will hope be obtained by finding out what hope is?
> G. will hope be obtained by good news?
> H. will hope be obtained by psychotherapy?
> K. will hope be obtained in another way?
> LouFriends,
It is written here,[...hopeless and futile...]
If we could undertsand what hopelessness and futility are, and how hope is obtained, then could not we also have the potential to overcome the hopelessness and futility?
What would you say to if I was to say that {hopelessness} could, IMO, have the potential to be a result of {captivity}? And then, if that is a potential to be the cause of hopelessness and futility, what is the captivity that is causing the hopelessness? How could the shakles of captivity, if there is a captivity, be broken?
Lou
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 11:00:16
In reply to Lou's response to aspects of Meri's post-captv, posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 9:13:19
Hi Merri is it still freezing cold in Finland to cold to ride your bike? If so I agree with Clear Skies. Take a day to relax and pamper yourself. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 11:06:48
In reply to Re: Lou's response to aspects of Meri's post-captv, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 11:00:16
Oh man unless rain I still bundle up and ride even if I don't want to Clear Skies how do you not fight it? Love Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on January 22, 2007, at 12:44:22
In reply to RePS, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 11:06:48
> Clear Skies how do you not fight it? Love Phillipa
If I'm having a bad day, I don't try to talk myself out of it. I don't want to confuse this with negative self-talk. What's been working best for me has been to allow myself to feel as badly as I do (because that is what I'm feeling, after all), and treat myself as gently as possible.
When I allow myself to do this - instead of forcing myself to smile, not cry, not feel angry - I honour my feelings instead of stuffing them down. Stuffing my feelings was really what I was best at for so very long. Bury everything as far down as I could.
CS
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 12:51:05
In reply to Re: Hopeless and futile..., posted by Jo U.K on January 22, 2007, at 8:15:59
Thanks Jo! You don't happen to live in Bristol do you?
Anyway yes distraction is the best method, alone with meeting friends for coffee. I'm feeling alot better now.
Sigh.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 12:52:38
In reply to Re: Hopeless and futile... » Meri-Tuuli, posted by ClearSkies on January 22, 2007, at 8:19:16
Hey clearskies!
Thanks for the advance. I've actually been doing that sort of thing for a good week now! I have to start working (I mean academically for my studies!) I'm getting behind. But today going out was distraction enough to be honest. I feel alot better this evening!!
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 12:54:27
In reply to Lou's response to aspects of Meri's post-hopanfut, posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 8:35:44
Hello!
I have no idea what help is to be honest. Well for me, its sort of believing that the future will be alright, that bad things won't happen to me. I tend to assume the worst!
I don't know how you believe that the future will be okay. Is it something you're born with?? I don't know!
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 12:57:46
In reply to Re: Lou's response to aspects of Meri's post-captv, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 11:00:16
Hey PJ!
Yes its freezing. Its now just 10 degrees F. (Or -12C.) BRrrrrrrr! I don't mind it to be honest. You just wear tons of clothes!! And of course, everything here is build for the cold, so its not too bad really.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Jo U.K on January 22, 2007, at 13:13:20
In reply to Re: Hopeless and futile... » Jo U.K, posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 12:51:05
Glad you're feeling better, I know how you felt and those days are always the longest ones eh? I live in south east England, in Kent, tho I was born in London and then lived in Essex for 20 odd years. I've been to Bristol ( I stayed there with my husband and kids - we had a day in Bristol then he took me to watch Arsenal football club play at the Millenium stadium in Cardiff - lucky me!?!) Have you visited there? Jo
Posted by Kath on January 22, 2007, at 13:27:41
In reply to Hopeless and futile..., posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 4:09:26
So sorry you're feeling like that. Good you posted.
You're in my thoughts & I'm sending you 'golden light'. I'm not doing that great myself, in that I'm spending hours on the computer! An 'avoidance of real life' thing when I spend this much time,
BUT - I hope that you've been able to get out of bed....hey you must have to write the post - right?
I sometimes get help from saying to myself: "I will NOT ALWAYS feel like this. This too shall pass. I will feel better." Things like that sometimes help me.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))))))
luv, Kath
Posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 14:02:05
In reply to Re: Lou's response to aspects of Meri's post-hopan » Lou PIlder, posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 12:54:27
> Hello!
>
> I have no idea what help is to be honest. Well for me, its sort of believing that the future will be alright, that bad things won't happen to me. I tend to assume the worst!
>
> I don't know how you believe that the future will be okay. Is it something you're born with?? I don't know!
>
> Kind regards
>
> MeriMeri,
You wrote,[...I have no idea what (help) is..the future will be alright...] If you meant that you have no idea what (hope) is, then let us look at the grammatical structure of your innitial post.
In that post, you wrote that it is in particular your (life}that is involved in the >hopelessness<.
In this post, you wrote,[...how you believe that the future will be OK...].
As I read the grammatical import of your posts, there is the potential IMO to interpret those as that you are |unsure| of the future, you have no idea what {hope} is, [if you meant >hope< and not {help}], and that you do not know how one can believe that the future will be OK.
The {future} could be tonight, or tomorrow, or next week, or next year, or 5 years from now, or 50 years from now or beyond that. As each time passes, there will be the next tonight, the next tomorrow, the next week, the next year and the next beyond. Where is the end so that we reach the future? Where is the time that we want there to be the result of hope? Is there in that time something that happens so that what we hoped for is achieved so that [...the future will be alright...?].
Hope implies an expectation, does it not?. Do we not hope for something, an anticipation? Could not {hopelessness} be described as a >state of mind<, a state of being despondent? Then does not the question become how could one overcome the state of being despondent?
Lou
Posted by Declan on January 22, 2007, at 14:07:02
In reply to Hopeless and futile..., posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 4:09:26
I heard that you look like a nordic princess.
That any help?
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 14:49:52
In reply to Re: Hopeless and futile..., posted by Jo U.K on January 22, 2007, at 13:13:20
Hiya, I was just being nosey because I recommended this site to a good friend called Jo and I was wondering if it was her! She lives in Bristol you see. Anyway Kent is supposed to be lovely. I'm more of a northerner I'm afraid. Yorkshire lass....
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 14:52:30
In reply to Re: Hopeless and futile... » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Kath on January 22, 2007, at 13:27:41
Thanks Kath! Those were lovely kind words. I do feel better. You're right about saying that these things will pass with time. I need to tell myself that! Its easy to believe them through and get wrapped up in them. Oh well. Thanks! Meri
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 15:00:37
In reply to Lou's reply to Meri-astastofmind » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 14:02:05
>that you do not know how one can believe that the future will be OK.
This is very true. I don't know! I sort of see what you're saying, but only partially. Could you explain abit more perhaps? I can see that the future never comes. 'Tomorrow is today that I worried about yesterday'. Still, I can't stop worrying about the future!
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 15:34:01
In reply to Re: Lou's reply to Meri-astastofmind » Lou PIlder, posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 15:00:37
> >that you do not know how one can believe that the future will be OK.
>
> This is very true. I don't know! I sort of see what you're saying, but only partially. Could you explain abit more perhaps? I can see that the future never comes. 'Tomorrow is today that I worried about yesterday'. Still, I can't stop worrying about the future!
>
> Kind regards
>
> MeriMeri,
You wrote,[...true..don't know...{see..partially}...could you explain...can't stop worrying...].
There could be a day when >you could know<. There could be a day when you could see a |clearer picture|. There could be a day when you could stop worrying.
Lou
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 16:13:49
In reply to Lou's reply to Meri-clerpic » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 15:34:01
Hi!
> There could be a day when >you could know<. There could be a day when you could see a |clearer picture|. There could be a day when you could stop worrying.
I guess thats called hope. :o)
I want it right now through!Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 16:16:04
In reply to Re: Hopeless and futile... » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Declan on January 22, 2007, at 14:07:02
G'day Mister!
> I heard that you look like a nordic princess.
>
> That any help?:o) I did bring a smile to my face! Thanks. :o)
M-T
Posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 17:03:16
In reply to Re: Lou's reply to Meri-clerpic » Lou PIlder, posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 16:13:49
> Hi!
>
> > There could be a day when >you could know<. There could be a day when you could see a |clearer picture|. There could be a day when you could stop worrying.
>
> I guess thats called hope. :o)
> I want it right now through!
>
> Kind regards
>
> MeriMeri,
You wrote,[...called hope..(would like)now...].
There can be a New Day. This Day could be a day when there is an exchange in your mind of things. When the exchange happens, old things pass away and if the darkness of hopelessness and despondency are what your state of mind is occupied with, then a new day could dispell the darkness and brightness could fill your mind with a new song.
The mind of despondency and hopelessness is not a mind that gives one peace, is it? When one has peace, do they not have hope?
Today, peace is awaiting those that seek it. Continued...
Lou
>
>
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 19:50:54
In reply to Re: RePS » Phillipa, posted by ClearSkies on January 22, 2007, at 12:44:22
Clear Skies that's exactly what I do was taught this in nursing to carry on. So you say if I'm tired and don't want to go out just go with that feeling? I always say oh if I don't go out I never will again. Like giving up. Thanks Love Phillipa
Posted by Lou PIlder on January 23, 2007, at 8:16:33
In reply to Lou's reply to Meri-peacehope » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Lou PIlder on January 22, 2007, at 17:03:16
> > Hi!
> >
> > > There could be a day when >you could know<. There could be a day when you could see a |clearer picture|. There could be a day when you could stop worrying.
> >
> > I guess thats called hope. :o)
> > I want it right now through!
> >
> > Kind regards
> >
> > Meri
>
> Meri,
> You wrote,[...called hope..(would like)now...].
> There can be a New Day. This Day could be a day when there is an exchange in your mind of things. When the exchange happens, old things pass away and if the darkness of hopelessness and despondency are what your state of mind is occupied with, then a new day could dispell the darkness and brightness could fill your mind with a new song.
> The mind of despondency and hopelessness is not a mind that gives one peace, is it? When one has peace, do they not have hope?
> Today, peace is awaiting those that seek it. Continued...
> Lou
> >
> > Mari,
The state of mind of hoplessness and futility can be exchanged with hope and peace. It could be a renewal of one's mind.
Where can one go to have their mind renewed? What can they take into their mind to cause a renewal of their mind? Where can they look to? Other men's thoughts? Could there be a higher thinking than other men's thinking?
Could we eat or drink from the fields and the waters to have our minds renewed? Is there a place to go that there are waters that one could drink from, without price, that could renew our minds?
The rain comes down from the heavens and brings forth the bud that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater. If there were waters to drink so that after you did drink of those waters, you could go out with joy and be lead with peace so that the mountains and the hills break forth into singing before you, and all the trees clap their hands, would that be a new day where the hopelessness could be exchanged with peace?
Lou
>
>
Posted by Lou PIlder on January 24, 2007, at 16:56:10
In reply to Re: Lou's reply to Meri-clerpic » Lou PIlder, posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 16:13:49
> Hi!
>
> > There could be a day when >you could know<. There could be a day when you could see a |clearer picture|. There could be a day when you could stop worrying.
>
> I guess thats called hope. :o)
> I want it right now through!
>
> Kind regards
>
> Meri
>
> Meri,
You wrote,[...I want it (hope) >right now<...].
I would like for you to have hope now. But where will this hope come from? Is there a store where you could buy hope? Could someone else give you their hope? Would taking a chemical into your body that could have the potential to alter your mind give you hope? Could talking to someone else give you hope? I guess that talking to someone else could give you hope if what they said was exactly what was needed to instill hope into you. That One could be a Counselor or someone that understands what peace is so that that peace could be infused into you from them. If someone could do that, I guess they could be somewhat like a Prince of peace and wondeful.
Now thearfore, could one have peace and hope now? If there is someone that is like a vine that we could be a branch of so that hope could be infused into one, then I would agree to seek first that vine to be a branch of. For if there is one that could do that, then that one could also effect a replacement of one's mind with a new mind. The mind of the one of the vine could flow into the mind of the other that is a branch of the vine. And could not then the one that is a branch of the vine bear the fruit of that vine?
How can we find the one that is the vine? If there is a good vine, would it not bear good fruit? And would not that good fruit come from grapes of Peace and hope and not from the Grapes of Wrath?
Lou
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