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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Enigma on March 29, 2006, at 10:35:50
Long story short...well, it's kinda long..
I suffer from major depression, bad enough that I'm unable to work.
I started off bi-polar around 8 years ago, and each year the depression got worse, and the hypo-mania (the extent of my bi-polar condition) mostly faded away.
I've been on disability for the past year now, my 2nd time in 2 years, and will lose my job, for good, in about 4 weeks (policy the company has, if you aren't able to come back to work within a year).
As long as I have support from a doctor, I'll be able to get disability for another year, but I will lose my health insurance (next month), so I'll have to pay for it on my own, and that will be *tight* to make ends meet.
If I don't get better in a years time, what am I supposed to do? I will most definately lose my house, which will crush my wife and I, and my 3 kids. This is just about our dream house, town, and neighborhood. It's our 3rd house, that we went through hell to get it.
I have, from what I can see, almost no viable options, in order to maintain my current lifestyle, or even a much "lesser" one, let alone getting healthy! My wife only has a 2 year degree and can't make even 1/2 the money I can/was. I'm a software engineer, and we tend to make near or more that what some doctors and lawyers make. In other words, I'm not greedy, I just can't afford to change careers and keep my life the way it is. We'll have to downgrade severely, and that will make my depression even worse.
I've tried dozens upon dozens of meds. Mostly all useless. Severe side-effects made many of the drugs intolerable. I have horror stories from some of them. Almost none of them made a difference anyway, as far as my depression was concerned.
I even had 10 treatments of ECT, which was, overall, somewhat effective. Of course, it's no cure, and still has not made me well enough to go back to work.
I was off all meds for 2-3 months after ECT, which is rare, as I'm usually on something on a permanent basis. I went back to the doctor Monday and got yet another ssri, which I feel won't do a damn thing. I got Celexa this time. There's only a few drugs I haven't tried, so the list of what I can try now is very short. My *idiot* doctor hasn't even heard of the new maoi patch. Jeez. I've had many doctors over the years, all useless in my opinion. Tried therapy a number of times, and that was useless for me as well.
So, I'm in a fairly hopeless state, as is my wife. Seeing my mood bounce around daily, is killing her. Luckily the kids aren't affected "too" much, but they are missing out on a once "fun" dad.
I don't believe in acupuncture for depression (or much else really.. scientifically, it's basically pointless). I already tried the mineral overloading approach, and that did nothing. Now I'm looking into homeopathic treatments, but I have little faith there, and little money to pay out of pocket for their "medicines".
Can anyone help? Think of something I have though of? (legal anyway). I don't know what to do, and I feel like there's a timebomb ticking away, that being the time until my disability ends. I'm already in the process of filing for Social Security benefits, but they pay crap, even if I somehow manage to get approved.
If you read this far, that's for your time.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on March 29, 2006, at 12:21:57
In reply to Will I ever work again?, posted by Enigma on March 29, 2006, at 10:35:50
I don't know if this might belong on the "alternative" board, but there are some natural things you might give a try that seem to have helped with some people.
I haven't been keeping up as much as I used to, but DLPA, DL-phenylalinine seems to have helped some people with depression as well as with chronic pain.
5-HTP is basically a replacement for tryptophan. It metabolizes to serotonin. and some people gain some relief from depression with it. (Don't take this during the day as it may make you drowsy.)
Herbs that might be used include
Ginko. (don't use this with blood thinning medications.
Kava. (Can increase the effect of alcohol and other depressant drugs or medications)
Morinda. (Helps with depression and may help male sexual functioning.)
And, of course, St. John's Wort. (Don't use with prescription antidepressants or with any medications that react with MAOI's. May also cause sensitivity to the sun.)
Also, there are herbs and preparations that can help with sleep if that is troubling you as well.
Health-food stores are by law not permitted to tell you how to use these substances to help your depression, though some might. There are books available that will specify recommended doses.
A few years ago, I was studying Naturopathy, and still have a fairly good library, so if you want to know something more specifically, let me know via babble-mail and I'll get back to you. I'm not a Naturopath or official herbalist, but do have some information.
OTOH, I'm Bipolar and am still out of work too, having been an engineer as well. It's tough. I used to own my own home and now rent a room. I'm doing what I can though to gain employment in another field, making jewelry. I hope this works out.
Good luck,
-Dee
Posted by fairywings on March 29, 2006, at 12:38:55
In reply to Re: Will I ever work again?, posted by deirdrehbrt on March 29, 2006, at 12:21:57
I'm so sorry Enigma. I can't imagine what you're going through. Do you think maybe you could do part time consulting? Then maybe when the depression is at it's worst you can pass on jobs. I don't know if it's an option or not, but maybe then betw. you and your wife's income you can make it. I hope somehow your pdoc can help you get it under control.
fw
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2006, at 20:09:12
In reply to Re: Will I ever work again?, posted by fairywings on March 29, 2006, at 12:38:55
Problem for me is the meds don't work . Probably 6 pdocs and hospitalizations. And I want to work. I miss my nurisng and I'm getting old to work the floor. Love Phillipa
Posted by Enigma on April 3, 2006, at 14:13:14
In reply to Re: Will I ever work again?, posted by deirdrehbrt on March 29, 2006, at 12:21:57
Thanks for the response.
Wow. Your situation is worse than mine, losing your home and all. I'll do *anything* not to lose this house. Not just for me, but mainly for my wife and kids. No need for them to suffer because of me.
I'm actually applying for social security benefits. My therapist recommended it, as did others. They say it's hard to get, take many many months, and you probably have to fight/contest it once you get denied, which people say I will. FUN!
Thanks for the herb info. I tried St. Johns, and it didn't do a thing for me. I tried fish oil/omega 3 fatty acids, and still nothing. But, I can't give up on my family, so I'm willing to try anything. I just can't believe there isn't anything out there that will help. There just has to be.
I also need yet another doctor, as mine is a joke. I'm going to see a naturopath? "doctor" soon. Hell, it's worth a shot. This person is actually out of the same psych office as my current doc. Strange!
I did hear bad things about kava. I forgot the specifics though.
Take care
Posted by Enigma on April 3, 2006, at 14:20:49
In reply to Re: Will I ever work again?, posted by fairywings on March 29, 2006, at 12:38:55
Hi.
Consulting was suggested to me, but the problem is, my mood changes *daily*. It's insane. It actually changes during the day, if you can believe that.
My daily cycle:
Wake up very late
Hit the computer for internet/games/email/etc
Hope to get energy and motivation to help around the house and work on my "list" of things to do
50/50 chance of doing one of those things
eat dinner with family
back to computer
when family goes to bed, I head downstairs to watch a movie, and am up till 3am
then try to go to bed
toss and turn for 1.5 hours and my brain is on overdrive, flooded with thoughts or revenge, worry, fear of life (working again, career, money), etc, etc..
Usually need sleep aids or klonpin to slow me down so I can get to sleep.
But, if I use sleep aids, I usually get up after 10-12 hours or sleep, instead of 6-8.
Usually depressed the most upon waking up, and late at night.Anyway, that's what it's been like lately.
This cycle changes every 1-3 months. Been plagued with headaches for weeks too. Had a sinus infection that wouldn't go away, even after 3 different anti-biotics. Now I'm worried something else is wrong. I want an MRI, not more useless drugs. Good luck convincing a doctor of this.
Oh well...
Posted by Enigma on April 3, 2006, at 14:25:58
In reply to Re: Will I ever work again?, posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2006, at 20:09:12
> Problem for me is the meds don't work . Probably 6 pdocs and hospitalizations. And I want to work. I miss my nurisng and I'm getting old to work the floor. Love Phillipa
Is depression your problem too? I've seen you around the boards a lot.
Same here, but maybe 8-10 docs over the past 7 years, not including therapy (which has NEVER helped me). Only been hosptialized once for suicide scare (bad reaction to Cymbalta!!), and had outpatient ECT, which helped, I guess. But the effects seem to be fading (the good effects that is).
Sorry to hear you are in the same boat.
This is the end of the thread.
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