![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 14:37:03
I'm starting to seriously doubt that I'm ok for this community. I'm sorry I can't always keep it together. I'm know I am a burden to this place. The needs of the many outweight the needs of the few. I think that applies here. The trouble is, I'm not sure I can stop coming to this place...I'm too selfish.
I'm sorry for being a downer. I'm sorry about being impulsive. I deserve to be banned from this place. I know Dr. Bob hates my disruptive posts. Whatever happens will happen...it is entirely my own fault.
Posted by sunny10 on May 18, 2005, at 16:39:14
In reply to Am I good for this community?, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 14:37:03
when you "need to be" "banished" as you say, you will be. That's how Dr. Bob and his deputies protect us. It leaves you freer to NOT worry so much, okay?
We are all adults and can make our own decisions as to what we can and can't handle being a part of.
Please don't be so hard on yourself, okay???
You are more than welcome in this community.
XOXOX
sunny10
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 19:58:48
In reply to Re: Am I good for this community?, posted by sunny10 on May 18, 2005, at 16:39:14
> when you "need to be" "banished" as you say, you will be. That's how Dr. Bob and his deputies protect us. It leaves you freer to NOT worry so much, okay?
Wierd, to me that sounds a little masochistic, but that actually made me feel better. Maybe I'm a masochist :-P
> Please don't be so hard on yourself, okay???
Easier said than done. :-)
Thanks sunny10
jenny
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 20:24:30
In reply to Am I good for this community?, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 14:37:03
I think I can assume by the lack of responses that there are a lot of people who don't particularly like me. It's ok, at least I think it's ok.
Today wasn't a very good day. My uncle is opening this fast food restaurant and my Mom has promised him that I would work as the cashier. I don't want to work in fast food! I didn't go to university to work in a fast food place! If they make me work there, I'd rather die. I'm a little desperate now...I'm supposed to go in for training maybe this weekend...I don't want this job!
I'm tired of having to talk with my mom, she is annoying me. Today I pretended to go out with friends just to get away from her. I just kept riding the bus. I don't know how to escape from my life.
I want to make a request...a just in case request. If I die one day and the authorities start snooping around and happen to find this place, can I trust you guys that my identity will be protected? I just don't want anyone to know my thoughts, esp. my family. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks.
Posted by sleepygirl on May 18, 2005, at 21:47:22
In reply to Am I good for this community?, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 14:37:03
Hey.....
What is the deal?
Go to therapy, and soon. You're depressed.
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 19, 2005, at 0:15:24
In reply to Re: Am I good for this community?, posted by sleepygirl on May 18, 2005, at 21:47:22
> Hey.....
> What is the deal?
> Go to therapy, and soon. You're depressed.Hi sleepygirl
Sorry if I was a little alarming...I didn't mean to be. It was only a just in case type of scenario. I'm ok...I'm going to try to get some follow-up appts with my GP. Thanks for caring :-)
Take care of yourself
jenny
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 19, 2005, at 8:23:56
In reply to Re: My day and a request *possible trigger?*, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 20:24:30
> I think I can assume by the lack of responses that there are a lot of people who don't particularly like me. It's ok, at least I think it's ok.
I'll tell you that your assumption is wrong. I was very busy when you posted.
It is a cognitive distortion to try and measure your "good" in a community. You cannot ever know that. It is a false metric.
You are a member of the community. Period. Good is not an issue. And I'm not trying to side-step answering you. "Good?" has no answer.
> Today wasn't a very good day. My uncle is opening this fast food restaurant and my Mom has promised him that I would work as the cashier. I don't want to work in fast food! I didn't go to university to work in a fast food place! If they make me work there, I'd rather die. I'm a little desperate now...I'm supposed to go in for training maybe this weekend...I don't want this job!
Speak up. To your uncle. Give him a chance to select another candidate. He probably thinks he's doing you a favour. In any case, I don't think you are a good match for the job, right now. You have other, more personal things, to attend to.
> I'm tired of having to talk with my mom, she is annoying me. Today I pretended to go out with friends just to get away from her. I just kept riding the bus. I don't know how to escape from my life.It may sound bizarre to you, but maybe becoming a voluntary psych patient is a solution? You get a safe environment, three good (well sometimes) meals a day, free meds, you don't do the dishes, etc. and you can get involved in a variety of therapy/self-management programs.
> I want to make a request...a just in case request. If I die one day and the authorities start snooping around and happen to find this place, can I trust you guys that my identity will be protected? I just don't want anyone to know my thoughts, esp. my family. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks.Your anonymity is totally protected here, in any case.
Lar
Posted by partlycloudy on May 19, 2005, at 8:30:05
In reply to Re: Am I good for this community?, posted by Shy_Girl on May 19, 2005, at 0:15:24
Anyone who makes supports others here (like you do)is Good. I don't always find the right words to reply to your posts, and I find that there is a lot of sensible and well meant advice offered to you, so you know that people care about you!
When you are distressed and post triggering things I actually have a difficult time reading and being able to respond, due to my inexperience with what you are going through. That doesn't mean that you're bad - it means that I don't know what to say, so I keep quiet. I like having you here and hope you plan to stick around, Shy_Girl.
partlycloudy
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 11:28:12
In reply to Re: Am I good for this community? » sunny10, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 19:58:48
I KNOW "hard to go easy on myself", trust me... I am my own worst critic, too...
Everyday I play Little Engine Who Could.... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...
Somedays it's the only thing that sees me through...
But I won't give up TRYING to think more positively...
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 11:33:22
In reply to Re: My day and a request *possible trigger?* » Shy_Girl, posted by Larry Hoover on May 19, 2005, at 8:23:56
oooh, Larry's suggestion sounds like a perfect solution... a veritable holiday from your family and the extra pressures they are piling on you right now...
I have often wished I could afford the luxury of having others take care of me for a while... if only I wasn't concerned with losing my job because of it. (I have been hospitalized three times and now fear one more time would lose me my job!) But, for you right now you don't HAVE a job... I would be jealous of you if you went!!! Lucky girl...
Posted by justyourlaugh on May 19, 2005, at 11:46:18
In reply to Re: Am I good for this community?, posted by Shy_Girl on May 19, 2005, at 0:15:24
be only you..
if you cant find her yet we will wait..
jyl
Posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2005, at 18:52:29
In reply to Am I good for this community?, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 14:37:03
>I think I can assume by the lack of responses that there are a lot of people who don't particularly like me. It's ok, at least I think it's ok.
Please don't jump to conclusions about others.
You do get a lot of responses... That shows that a lot of people care. But people can't be summoned to post on demand. They have their own issues and their own stuff going on too.I couldn't find the post I wanted to respond to...
It was the one about what sorts of posts people wanted to see more off...I have to say that I really like the variety here at Babble. Some posts are silly-funny which is what I need sometimes to help me lighten up and feel a bit better. Some posts make me cry because I can understand so much of the hurt and stuff... There are lots of different posts for when one is in a different place.
I think Babble would start to get boring if all posts were similar.
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 21, 2005, at 19:19:10
In reply to Re: Am I good for this community?, posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2005, at 18:52:29
alexandra_k wrote:
> Please don't jump to conclusions about others.
> You do get a lot of responses... That shows that a lot of people care. But people can't be summoned to post on demand. They have their own issues and their own stuff going on too.Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I get very insecure sometimes. It will take a while to learn about how to interact in a positive way with people. (Starting to realize the world is not all about me :-P )
> I think Babble would start to get boring if all posts were similar.
I agree. :-)
Posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2005, at 21:03:53
In reply to Re: Jumping to conclusions » alexandra_k, posted by Shy_Girl on May 21, 2005, at 19:19:10
> Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.
Thats ok. You didn't hurt my feelings.
(((Shygirl)))
I hope I didn't hurt yours.
I don't tend to respond to those sorts of posts...
It isn't that I don't care.
It is just that I can feel a bit like I'm talking to a brick wall.
I say 'yup I care'
Then need to say it the next day...
And the next day...
And the next day...
And it still isn't believed.
Whereas if I happen to miss a thread,
A day...
Then that is taken to be evidence that I *don't* care.
And so I feel as though I can't win
And why bother saying I do care...
And what is the point.That is my response.
I own that.
It isn't your fault.
But it is the way that I do respond.>I get very insecure sometimes.
Yeah.
Me too.
I do too.
It is hard to get over that.
I think thats something everybody works on to a certain degree.>It will take a while to learn about how to interact in a positive way with people.
I think its a lifelong thing.
(((Shygirl)))
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 21, 2005, at 23:51:49
In reply to Re: Jumping to conclusions » alexandra_k, posted by Shy_Girl on May 21, 2005, at 19:19:10
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 22, 2005, at 0:08:11
In reply to Re: Jumping to conclusions » Shy_Girl, posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2005, at 21:03:53
> Thats ok. You didn't hurt my feelings.
> (((Shygirl)))
> I hope I didn't hurt yours.It's ok, I'm just way to sensitive. I'm still ok...maybe the Celexa is finally working. :-)
> I don't tend to respond to those sorts of posts...
> It isn't that I don't care.
> It is just that I can feel a bit like I'm talking to a brick wall.
> I say 'yup I care'
> Then need to say it the next day...
> And the next day...
> And the next day...
> And it still isn't believed.
> Whereas if I happen to miss a thread,
> A day...
> Then that is taken to be evidence that I *don't* care.
> And so I feel as though I can't win
> And why bother saying I do care...
> And what is the point.Wow, that was a very good description...I never really thought it was like that for other people. Thanks Alexandra for letting me understand. ((((Alexandra)))
Thank-you everyone for caring :-) From now on I'll try really hard to never assume the worst possible scenario.
Posted by NikkiT2 on May 22, 2005, at 6:27:22
In reply to Re: My day and a request *possible trigger?*, posted by Shy_Girl on May 18, 2005, at 20:24:30
"I think I can assume by the lack of responses that there are a lot of people who don't particularly like me. It's ok, at least I think it's ok."
You only gave it a few hours, on a Saturday when things tend to be alot quieter..
And, I'm with Alex, in that I really don't like replying to this kind of post. So infuture, I won't be. This DOES NOT mean I don't care, it means I am looking after my own mental health (I have had a very bad experience with a needy friend before)..
So, when you ask such a question next time.. I won't reply. But know that I do care, please.
Nikki
Posted by Shy_Girl on May 22, 2005, at 13:22:33
In reply to Re: My day and a request *possible trigger?* » Shy_Girl, posted by NikkiT2 on May 22, 2005, at 6:27:22
> And, I'm with Alex, in that I really don't like replying to this kind of post. So infuture, I won't be. This DOES NOT mean I don't care, it means I am looking after my own mental health (I have had a very bad experience with a needy friend before)..
Ok, I understand. :-) I think it might be better if everyone didn't respond to my frequent requests for validation...I will never learn that way. It is better for me to realize that people do care even if they are not constantly reassuring me. Thanks Nikki
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 24, 2005, at 13:41:48
In reply to Re: Needy friends » NikkiT2, posted by Shy_Girl on May 22, 2005, at 13:22:33
Ok, I understand. :-) I think it might be better if everyone didn't respond to my frequent requests for validation...I will never learn that way. It is better for me to realize that people do care even if they are not constantly reassuring me.
Oh I don't think you don't have to be that drastic. You are a trooper though! Most everyone needs validation, and for some of us, it takes a long time and a lot of work to learn to give it to ourselves. With your insight and determination you are definitely on the right track though, I'm sure it will happen for you. Until then, well, once you've learned (not *you* personally) the sad truth, that the more you need reassurance the less likely you are to get it, well.. you just get a little bit cagier about how you ask for it. ; )
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.