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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 3 to 27 of 27. Go back in thread:
Posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:43:41
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by sunny10 on May 3, 2005, at 14:25:47
> I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you...
>
> Does it matter whether or not you bring a toothbrush or toothpaste to the shelter if being there will make you feel safe?
>
> I understand crazy mothers- mine is one, too... We haven't spoken in twenty years; I feel safer that way...
>
> big hugs,
> praying for you,
> sunny10thank you sunny..i just needed to hear from someone..i'm crying right now..it's all just too much. thanks for what you said, i needed that right now.
hugs to you,
amy
Posted by partlycloudy on May 3, 2005, at 15:11:13
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » sunny10, posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:43:41
I hope this helps, Alesta. I'm thinking of you.
pc
Posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 15:38:08
In reply to I found this site..., posted by partlycloudy on May 3, 2005, at 15:11:13
> http://www.dvsheltertour.org
>
> I hope this helps, Alesta. I'm thinking of you.
> pcpc, thank you so much..it means a lot to me.
god bless,
amy
Posted by gardenergirl on May 3, 2005, at 16:23:47
In reply to Re: I found this site... » partlycloudy, posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 15:38:08
Amy,
I wish I could offer you something to hang onto now. I hope that you find a safe place, whether it's in your mother's home away from her, or a shelter.When you get your safety and security back, you might consider reading one of these books on NPD if you haven't already.
"Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents"
(hmmm, I should read that one myself.)
We're here for you. Hang in there.
gg
Posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 16:30:34
In reply to ((((((alesta)))))), posted by gardenergirl on May 3, 2005, at 16:23:47
> Amy,
> I wish I could offer you something to hang onto now. I hope that you find a safe place, whether it's in your mother's home away from her, or a shelter.
>
> When you get your safety and security back, you might consider reading one of these books on NPD if you haven't already.
>
> "Trapped in the Mirror"
>
> "The Narcissistic Family"
>
> "Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents"
> (hmmm, I should read that one myself.)
>
>
> We're here for you. Hang in there.
>
> ggoh, gg, thank you! you have *no idea* how much i appreciate your post..you seem to know exactly what i needed to hear, and provided me some comfort..something i did not think was possible..i am so, so grateful..i cannot explain the horrible place i'm in, but now i really feel like maybe i could make it..
love,
amy
Posted by alexandra_k on May 3, 2005, at 16:33:54
In reply to Re: ((((((alesta)))))) » gardenergirl, posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 16:30:34
Oh yes.
(((alesta)))
I just found this thread.
I don't know what to say - what a horrible situation.
But we are here.
Thinking of you and hope that you are ok.
Feel free to rant and rave and have a good cry.
I don't know too much about your situation... But I understand crazy mothers... Well, I mean to say that I understand something of what it is like to have one.
Posted by Damos on May 3, 2005, at 16:34:25
In reply to it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:08:01
Hi Amy,
Can't begin to imagine what you're going through and just wanted to you to know I'm thinking of you. Wish I could do more. Hoping you find a way to a place of physical and emotional safety soon.
((((Amy)))))
Posted by AdaGrace on May 3, 2005, at 17:01:52
In reply to it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:08:01
The urgency and fear of your post struck me hard in the chest. I hope you find something, or somewhere to help you soon. It worries me to read someone in such pain and so scared.
I'm thinking of you.....
AdaGrace
Posted by fallsfall on May 3, 2005, at 18:30:37
In reply to it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:08:01
If you end up not at home, you can go to your local library to find a computer you can use. Keep holding on to your support systems. We're here and we care.
Please take care of yourself, and do what you need to do in order to do that.
Best of luck.
Posted by anastasia56 on May 3, 2005, at 18:38:25
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » alesta, posted by fallsfall on May 3, 2005, at 18:30:37
Take care of yourself amy. We are all here for you. Please post again as soon as you can to let us know how/what you are doing.
ana
Posted by Poet on May 3, 2005, at 20:38:23
In reply to Re: ((((((alesta)))))) » gardenergirl, posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 16:30:34
Hi Alesta,
I don't know your whole situation, but I have read enough to know that where you are is unsafe.
You don't need shampoo or toothpaste at a shelter, they are used to people coming all hours of the day and night with nothing, but the clothes on their backs. I hope you find safety somewhere soon.
Poet
Posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 21:27:33
In reply to it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:08:01
i'm trying to post this for the third time due to computer issues (computer is fine..stepfather is online also, slowing down mine..so i hope no duplicate posts show up!
you folks are *so* kind..i am ok..things have calmed down..i'm looking at getting an apartment and getting out of here ASAP; not have reliable transp makes things very difficult..trying to figure all this out..
you guys are great. i honestly don't know *what* i would do without you. i hope to have more positive things to report soon..love, amy:)
Posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 21:32:05
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » alesta, posted by AdaGrace on May 3, 2005, at 17:01:52
Adagrace,:)
i'm sorry you were so worried, ada. your post touched me, too...i am ok, hon. i thank you for caring in such a way as you did. thanks for thinking about me....
love and hugs,
amy
Posted by justyourlaugh on May 3, 2005, at 22:22:59
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » AdaGrace, posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 21:32:05
your post was is full of passion..
keep knowing what a good person you are..
if you forget..we are here to remind you..
do it for you..
j
Posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 10:38:23
In reply to ale..., posted by justyourlaugh on May 3, 2005, at 22:22:59
> your post was is full of passion..
> keep knowing what a good person you are..
> if you forget..we are here to remind you..
> do it for you..
> jwow, jy..thanks, that was beautiful..i needed to hear that..how'd you know? lol i might print that sucker out!
love (i'm in loving mode right now :) ppl are gonna barf soon..how unfortunate :)),
amy
Posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 15:22:53
In reply to it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:08:01
hi, i'm just posting this to update on my situation and help me deal/vent. one minute i think things are going to be okay, and then the next my mom's attacking me again. she just finished one of her tirades seconds ago..i'm so flustered, my ears are burning, i feel so emotionally violated. i'm shaking and feel overwhelmed. she keeps coming after me when i try to walk away from her..she doesn't stop. she's got that glare in the eye and invades my being/identity. i hate it. it's so much worse than just straight being yelled at.
she is going to help me get on my feet, possibly buy me another car (which i do appreciate so much and is so nice), but it comes at a great price..i feel like if i just go to a shelter i'll just be stuck there..i won't get a car and therefore won't be able to work.
oh my god, my mom hasn't changed. i am so scared she's going to affect my being. they say that if you're around a narcissist long enough, you tend to become like them. this didn't happen to me in childhood, but i'm still scared. just being here a few weeks isn't going to do that, is it?
oh man i am out of practice dealing with her..i thought i had found a way to 'adapt and overcome' by tiptoeing around her, and acting in doting manner..it helps things..but she still is going off on me..it's gonna be a long few weeks..but somehow i don't feel as panicked as yesterday, but still not good.
thanks to anyone for listening..i just needed to get that out.:)
amy
Posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 16:43:21
In reply to it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:08:01
my mom wants to have another 'discussion' with me in a few minutes..i am a nervous wreck..does anyone have any tools to help me cope? oh god..
Posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 16:45:00
In reply to anyone have any tools.. » alesta, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 16:43:21
Posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 17:22:15
In reply to it never ends..i'm in trouble here.., posted by alesta on May 3, 2005, at 14:08:01
things just got so, so horrible around here..i just insisted to my mom that she takes me to a shelter..not sure if she will..i can't take this..oh god she is so awful..why..oh god i wish i had someone..she's saying that she won't take me to the shelter..that she's going to take me back to my ex's, who i already left..i feel like there's no way out anymore..i am totally falling apart..
if i do go to shelter i won't have internet access, i don't think...
just wanted to let y'all know..life is hell. i just want all this to be over.
Posted by partlycloudy on May 4, 2005, at 17:42:35
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » alesta, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 17:22:15
(((Alesta))) you do what you need to do to protect yourself, ok? I'm so sorry you feel overwhelmed right now, just want you to know I'm thinking of you.
pc
Posted by Damos on May 4, 2005, at 17:47:00
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » alesta, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 17:22:15
Here with you Amy. Like PC said, you just do whatever you need to to protect yourself okay.
Thinking of you.
Posted by fallsfall on May 4, 2005, at 20:40:45
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » alesta, posted by alesta on May 4, 2005, at 17:22:15
You can find internet access at your local library.
Posted by sunny10 on May 5, 2005, at 8:13:43
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » alesta, posted by fallsfall on May 4, 2005, at 20:40:45
I have a Narcissistic mother also.
I am older than you. I have had a downright crappy life because I didn't understand what you already know.
Save yourself.
I read your post about how you are tiptoeing around "walking on eggshells" is the cliche psychologists use and I thought of a book that may help you.
It is written for people who have had to deal with alcoholics or other sustance abusers, but their manipulative actions are very similar to a narcissist, so you should get a lot out of it.
We learn to tread carefully, and to care for them which makes us neglect our own needs. If this sounds like you, try "CoDependent No More" by Melodie Beaddy (I think that's how she spells her name).
There are parts that I ignore (and maybe I shouldn't- but I'm trying!), but a lot of what is in there has helped me to start making the decisions for myself that I have recently.
Take care of you first and foremost. If you can't get to Babble at the shelter, go to the library.
And if you can't do that, just take a babble break to take care of yourself in concrete ways that will ultimately get you where you want to be; including back on babble if that is what you want.
Big hugs, sweetie, we all support you,
sunny10
Posted by alesta on May 5, 2005, at 20:16:31
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » alesta, posted by Damos on May 4, 2005, at 17:47:00
thanks, you guys, so much for the support.:)
just to give another update, i called the shelters the day i last posted and they didn't have any openings til the next day. so i didn't go. i am still at mommy dearest's. (that movie is a pretty good depiction of my mother, actually, lol.) but i think my mother's worse.
i have decided to stay at my mom's. i talked to the shelter worker and she said that you can only stay there for like 21 days or thereabouts. so, i'd only be able to be there a few weeks, and then i'd be right back where i started (no home, job, etc.), except worse..i wouldn't have my mom as a resource anymore.
at least if i stay w/ my mom i have a chance..i'll have a car, a job, etc. i just have to stick it out for a few weeks. i think i can sometimes, and sometimes i don't. but i don't have a choice. i have to stay. i'm gonna make it.:)
thanks again everybody.
take care all,:)
amy
Posted by alesta on May 6, 2005, at 0:35:27
In reply to Re: it never ends..i'm in trouble here.. » Damos, posted by alesta on May 5, 2005, at 20:16:31
This is the end of the thread.
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