Psycho-Babble Social Thread 396869

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Re: Gossip

Posted by Susan47 on September 29, 2004, at 21:30:51

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Jai Narayan on September 29, 2004, at 17:07:33

Larry Hoover, I can't imagine anyone gossiping about you, that seems silly. I agree with what others've said here. You're fabulous! (From out here in Babbleland, which I suspect is self-created reality.) Ew ew ew. Somebody shut me up. Okay, in unison now, Susan shut up.

 

Re: Gossip

Posted by Jasmineneroli on September 29, 2004, at 23:38:39

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Susan47 on September 29, 2004, at 21:30:51

Larry:
I barely ever come to the Social Board, and I really hope it's not a soap opera-y kinda place. Because Dr. Bob keeps on re-directing people here from the Meds board, when their posts deviate from their medicine issues, to cries of help or for support! That would certainly have a detrimental effect on those people.
And I CANNOT believe people would spread negative stuff about YOU! You are much too valuable to Psycho-Babble...all boards. Name names, and let me at 'em! I'm reducing my AD dose today and may need to re-direct any irritability that arises!
Jas

 

((((((((Larry)))))))))

Posted by gardenergirl on September 29, 2004, at 23:40:26

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Jasmineneroli on September 29, 2004, at 23:38:39

I know I hate to be the subject of gossip. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

warmly,
gg

 

Re: Gossip Larry Hoover

Posted by All Done on September 30, 2004, at 0:55:18

In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42

(((Larry))),

It makes me sad to hear you're dealing with this. I can't even imagine why anyone would say hurtful things about you. You're a wonderful part of these boards.

Take care,
Laurie

 

Re: Gossip Larry Hoover

Posted by alesta on September 30, 2004, at 1:11:48

In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42

hi, lar,
as i said in my (rare) email to you, you are like the nicest guy on the planet..you're so kind, have great integrity, are completely loyal to gabbi..please try not to let things that are out of your control upset you (easy for me to say)..wishing you happiness..

amy:)

 

Gossip??

Posted by saw on September 30, 2004, at 1:28:53

In reply to Re: Gossip Larry Hoover, posted by alesta on September 30, 2004, at 1:11:48

I must be missing something or it's just my ability to avoid gossip. I haven't noticed a thing. And even if I did, I wouldn't take part in it. Larry, you have helped me out on the alternative board and I have read ALL your other posts with interest and a lot with amusement. You are extremely intelligent, caring and supportive.

Dear Gossiper, take THAT and eat it!!

Sabrina

 

Re: Gossip

Posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 10:14:35

In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42

Negative gossip about you?? Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre. I'm sorry to hear about it. It's gotta be hurtful. I suspect the gossip will eventually go away. You'll still be here and you'll still be you and anyone saying unkind things will have spent energy uselessly and accomplished nothing.

Emme

 

Re: Gossip

Posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 10:14:35

> Negative gossip about you?? Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre. I'm sorry to hear about it. It's gotta be hurtful. I suspect the gossip will eventually go away. You'll still be here and you'll still be you and anyone saying unkind things will have spent energy uselessly and accomplished nothing.
>
> Emme

I'm replying to this post, but I'm really replying to everybody.

Thank you for the support. I really need/needed it, and it's much appreciated.

I chose to confront the gossipmonger, and I have had a reply. We shall see where that leads.

Gossip is not an innocent act. The gossiper is a hammer. The gossip is a nail. And the board into which the nail is driven is trust. You can pull the nail, after the fact, but the board will ever more have a hole in it.

Gossip permanently taints relationships. There are those who would say that truth must prevail. That's a rationalization for injurious behaviour. Those who believe in brutal honesty, I suspect, are motivated more by brutality than by honesty. And those who pursue this honesty, but linger in shadow, are perhaps representatives of that darker place.

That childhood saying about sticks and stones, which ends with "names will never hurt me" is false.

We can all do something about the propogation of gossip. If there is something you would say about me that you would not say to me.....you have found gossip. Imagine I was listening to that which you might say. Apply this principle to all that you utter. What if X heard these words?

There is innocent gossip, certainly. And we all do it, talk about others who are not present. Please, gossip cannot be undone. Gossip can be like perfume, or the stink of gasoline. Get a little on you....a little bit goes a long way. It clings. The tiniest remnant comes back.

Lar

 

Re: Gossip

Posted by Jai Narayan on September 30, 2004, at 14:27:54

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02

> Thank you for the support. I really need/needed it, and it's much appreciated.

**your welcome, anytime.
>
> I chose to confront the gossipmonger, and I have had a reply. We shall see where that leads.

**Glad you did that.

I appreciate you.
Jai

 

Re: please be civil

Posted by Dr. Bob on September 30, 2004, at 19:27:16

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 10:14:35

> I hope the gossips realize how foolish their behavior is

> Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre.

Just a reminder, everyone, please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.

If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.

Thanks,

Bob

 

nicely put, Larry!! (nm) Larry Hoover

Posted by just plain jane on September 30, 2004, at 21:06:08

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02

 

I don't get it. Dr. Bob

Posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 22:21:32

In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Dr. Bob on September 30, 2004, at 19:27:16


> > Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre.
>
> Just a reminder, everyone, please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.

I just said it was nasty and bizarre to spread malicious gossip. I was commenting on an unkind *behavior* that Larry says he's been exposed to and that by most standards is considered negative and harmful.

This should be redirected over to Admin I guess. I'll look up how to do it for the next time.

 

Re:(((Gossipmonger)))

Posted by tabitha on September 30, 2004, at 23:43:12

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02

Somehow I think somebody may need this about now...

 

Re: Gossipmonger

Posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 11:14:33

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02

> I chose to confront the gossipmonger, and I have had a reply. We shall see where that leads.

I don't know where to begin, I am so upset.

The individual responsible for the gossip calls herself a protector, trying to "save [her] some grief". That worked so well that she had her mother take her to the hospital yesterday, and she did not return home. I'm sure she's overwhelmed with gratitude for your help.

And this, because you had a "feeling" about me? You said that you "coule (sic) have picked any name really" to include in your allegation. Of course, that's because there is no truth to what you have to say. Just your feeling. And because of that, yet another person is hurt, the name you picked out of the hat. Another innocent party gets caught up in the effects of your "feeling" about me.

You say you "just" wanted to save her from grief, and that you "simply" advised her "would be more power in ending things". You want to minimize the magnitude of your act. Why is that?

You see, if you really wanted to help, you'd have come to me first. You had no problem contacting me after I posted here. It's not like you didn't know how to do that.

I didn't say *only* come to me. The sequence of events, what you really did, does not fall in accord with your words. If you had come to me first, you'd perhaps have saved others from your unfounded allegations. I cannot begin to describe the havoc you have wrought in my life, and in Gabbi's. You cannot unring the bell.

Many people express affection for me on Babble, and I return it fully. Is that all there is to your feeling? Something like, 'That can't be good'?

Slander and libel have found their way into civil law because the taint of allegations cannot be removed. The remedies are not able to restore a reputation. The penalties do nothing more than make two parties hurt, and maybe make someone else think twice before they open their mouth.

I've been sprayed by a skunk, and now I stink. And there's nothing I can do about it. Thanks a lot.

I'm going to see my kids for the weekend. We plan to go to the fair. I hope they don't see me crying.

Lar

 

Re: Gossip Larry Hoover

Posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:04:29

In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02

You're very eloquent. I love that about you. :)

 

Re: Gossip Susan47

Posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 12:06:29

In reply to Re: Gossip Larry Hoover, posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:04:29

> You're very eloquent. I love that about you. :)

<whispered> Careful....people might gossip.

Lar

 

(((Larry))) (nm)

Posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:08:39

In reply to Re: Gossipmonger, posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 11:14:33

 

Pssst, Larry. Let them. :)) (nm)

Posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:46:57

In reply to Re: Gossip Susan47, posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 12:06:29

 

((((Lar Gabbi))))

Posted by Dinah on October 1, 2004, at 13:29:07

In reply to Re: Gossipmonger, posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 11:14:33

Have faith, Lar. I wish I could summon up my best therapist's voice, but I really do think everything is going to be ok.

Usually when someone says "You two deserve each other" it's not meant in a positive way. But you two really do deserve each other, and it's meant with a lot of love from me and enormous admiration for both of you.

If there's *anything* I can do for *either* of you, please don't think twice about letting me know.

 

I second that (((Lar, Gabbi))) (nm)

Posted by Emme on October 1, 2004, at 15:47:46

In reply to Re: Gossipmonger, posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 11:14:33

 

Re: Gossip Larry Hoover

Posted by JenStar on October 1, 2004, at 18:41:30

In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42

hi Lar,
I'm back on the boards after being away dealing with work stuff for a while. I'm sorry to hear that you've been attacked by gossip! I know you & I haven't chatted directly all that much, but I like reading your posts and I can't understand why someone would pick on you.

I hope you know that there are many of us who are not tied into the gossip loop and don't pay much attention to it.

Hope your weekend goes well. Enjoy the fair. Take care of yourself!

JenStar

 

Re: please be civil Larry Hoover

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 2, 2004, at 4:12:07

In reply to Re: Gossipmonger, posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 11:14:33

> I'm sure she's overwhelmed with gratitude for your help.
>
> there is no truth to what you have to say... And because of that, yet another person is hurt
>
> your unfounded allegations
> the havoc you have wrought in my life
>
> I've been sprayed by a skunk

I'm sorry you have so much to deal with, but I need to remind you not to be sarcastic or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.

If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: please be civil Dr. Bob

Posted by larry hoover on October 2, 2004, at 10:28:46

In reply to Re: please be civil Larry Hoover, posted by Dr. Bob on October 2, 2004, at 4:12:07

> I'm sorry you have so much to deal with, but I need to remind you not to be sarcastic or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
> Thanks,
>
> Bob

Thank you, Dr. Bob, for using sensitivity and judgment in dealing with my post. I was very distraught, and I regret having posted it at all.

Lar

 

Re: thanks (nm) larry hoover

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 2, 2004, at 10:43:25

In reply to Re: please be civil Dr. Bob, posted by larry hoover on October 2, 2004, at 10:28:46

 

oh dear!

Posted by karen_kay on October 2, 2004, at 16:21:48

In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42

((((lar and miss s))))

take care of yourselves pretty please.


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