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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woolav on August 16, 2004, at 20:32:27
If anyone has read my previous posts, Ive been talking about my daughter starting high school and what a pain it has been trying to figure out the right school to go to....well, i picked another private school (catholic) that has 850 kids (9-12th) because she didnt like her previous private school that had 175 kids (K-12) (she thought it was too small and didnt like that there were only going to be 8 9th graders. Anyway, she went to her new school today and hates it. She says all the kids have an attitude that they are better than everyone else because they go there and 95% of the kids know each other because they went to middle school together. So, she feels left out now. She did make 1 friend, a new girl from another state. I hate the town i live in because you have to choose where your kids go to school. I am at my whits end!!!!!!! S
Posted by mair on August 17, 2004, at 16:04:09
In reply to my daughter hates her new school... :(, posted by woolav on August 16, 2004, at 20:32:27
As hard as it may be, I think you have to accept that there will be bad days and hopefully good days, and that the jury really will be out for awhile on whether this new school will be good for your daughter or not. And really this issue doesn't just exist because you live in a town with a lousy public school. She could be going to a great public school, and still find the kids snooty and unapproachable. And while these kids may all know one another because they went to middle school together, I can guarantee that they aren't all friends and don't all like each other.
I think mothers have a particularly difficult time dealing with the unhappiness of teens, particularly girls. Given the proliferation of teen depression and eating disorders, it's hard not to worry too much and hover and it's hard not to react to every bit of unhappiness, and wonder how all the relationship problems will affect her self esteem. And I think with daughters, we probably tap into some of our own teen hang-ups.
It's sounds, however, like your daughter had friends at her old school. If she did, chances are she will develop friends at this school too - it might just take awhile.
Mair
Posted by Raindancer on August 17, 2004, at 19:56:51
In reply to my daughter hates her new school... :(, posted by woolav on August 16, 2004, at 20:32:27
I am so sorry. This must be a great worry for you, but don't despair yet. Your daughter has found a friend on her very first day and I'm sure will slowly integrate as the building, staff and girls become more familiar. Being the "new girl" isn't much fun, but it doesn't last. Let your daughter know that you are calm and can accept the situation and ask her to give it time. My very best wishes to you both. I shall be thinking of you.
Raindancer
Posted by woolav on August 18, 2004, at 9:45:41
In reply to Re: my daughter hates her new school... :( » woolav, posted by Raindancer on August 17, 2004, at 19:56:51
Thanks for the support. I just hate seeing her unhappy. But i know i cant live life for her. She hasnt had the greatest life (lots of love) but not alot of material things...And her father and I divorced etc..so maybe i try to over-compensate and in turn putting too much pressure on myself.
Thanks again all.
Sandy
Posted by AuntieMel on August 18, 2004, at 11:06:36
In reply to Re: my daughter hates her new school... :(, posted by woolav on August 18, 2004, at 9:45:41
When we moved my daughter hated her school at first. It *was* hard - high school and being new at the same time.
But there is a good chance that her "hate" is really "fear of not fitting in." That will change. Is she doing any activities like choir or anything? That's a real good type thing for chatting. Chatting leads to saying hi in the hall, eating lunch together and so on.
===================================================
below is unsolicited advice. you are
free to ignore any or all of it
===================================================A couple of tips for meeting people in class:
1) ask to borrow a pencil or something. It's an opening for a "thank you, how long have you been going to school here?"
2) ask a neighbor in class if she knows anything about the teacher. That should get them going.
The idea is to not tell them about yourself, it is to bet them talking about themselves. If you can, and if you actually show interest, they will think you are a wonderful conversationalist.
Posted by woolav on August 19, 2004, at 10:53:38
In reply to Re: my daughter hates her new school... :(, posted by AuntieMel on August 18, 2004, at 11:06:36
Well, its day 4 for my daughter and new school. She didnt complain as much yesterday and she said she did ask to borrow a girls book and they started talking. So, I think it will be okay. She does like the attn from boys she gets outside of school wearing her uniform around..so, that could sway her right there!!!
S
Posted by AuntieMel on August 19, 2004, at 13:23:37
In reply to Re: my daughter dislikes her new school.., posted by woolav on August 19, 2004, at 10:53:38
Well, that's good. I didn't really think the first impression would stay. Teenagers!!
Posted by woolav on August 19, 2004, at 15:11:54
In reply to Re: my daughter (dis)likes her new school.. » woolav, posted by AuntieMel on August 19, 2004, at 13:23:37
This is the end of the thread.
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