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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by littlep24 on June 23, 2004, at 19:58:05
I have posted many times venting about the same issues that pull me down. I am especially having a hard time this week because it is my daughters 4th bday party on Saturday. I could just have a couple of friends over but no I have to invite 30 kids. This is pretty stupid knowing how it makes me crazy and cry every day because I am not confident with what I need to do; it hurts to think about it. It also hurts to think about taking the low road to a simple get together. I can't get it through my thick skull how much easier it would be. I think for me it is about the fact that I think any "stable" person can handle doing this why can't I? (over and over) Is this obsessive or depressive thinking? Now my house is always a mess so it is a big deal to clean it on special occassions. When I am trying to clean I get so frustrated because I don't know where to put things (lack of organization) and then I just sit and cry and nothing gets accomplished, since I have the thoughts all the time that I can handle it is this obsessive or depressive thoughts? I go back to the store 15 times in a week to look at what to buy. I bring something home decide I don't want it bring it back to the store and then go home and wish I didn't return it. I guess it is obsessive to think about, should I buy 24 or 36 plates, all week long. I am so drained from this and am short tempered, so why do I put myself through it? How do you differentiate obsessive thinking from the fact that you are having a party and your trying to make decisions?
Posted by justyourlaugh on June 23, 2004, at 22:01:53
In reply to Is it OCD?, posted by littlep24 on June 23, 2004, at 19:58:05
sweet little,
please accept this is the way you are today.
you dont need a lable.
i do this as well,
you have to get yourself a break.
i let my kids know when i am having an "indecision day"..it helps me to know they understand.
kids do not see mess..the party is for a child not the adults..
if the plates run out..hand them a piece of cake and a napkin..
and remember crumbs are easier to sweep up when they are dry..
have fun..
jyl
Posted by partlycloudy on June 24, 2004, at 7:02:20
In reply to Re: Is it OCD? » littlep24, posted by justyourlaugh on June 23, 2004, at 22:01:53
Very good advice. Most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Posted by littlep24 on June 24, 2004, at 7:20:31
In reply to Re: Is it OCD? » littlep24, posted by justyourlaugh on June 23, 2004, at 22:01:53
JYL,
You hit it right on the nail. I need to accept who I am today and be happy with that. I keep trying to be something I am not or used to be. Now the hard part is getting myself to accept myself. I have a really hard time implementing good advice given to me (and I ask for it all the time) go figure. This is another thread I could go into but I am trying to understand why I can't accept advice.
Thanks for your support
Posted by tampagirl70 on June 24, 2004, at 8:17:43
In reply to Re: Is it OCD? » justyourlaugh, posted by littlep24 on June 24, 2004, at 7:20:31
hi little -
as an ocd sufferer, i can relate to what you're going through. i've seen your responses to some of my posts and know you're having a hard time. are you on medication now and if so, what & what dose(s)? do you see a therapist and/or a psychiatrist? have you told them about how you're feeling?
i've always been too hard on myself and on top of that am very impatient. my life has been good and nonproblematic for about 4 years now, but recently i decided i didn't need my meds and went off of them. needless to say, i realize now that i need them and will probably always need them. i didn't want to accept that fact, that i needed a pill to make my brain "right", but it is what it is. so when i start obsessing, i start beating myself down, looking at all the things i've done that i shouldn't have done, or things i haven't done enough of (like calling my parents or grandmother), i start feeling like a failure for one reason or another, and i just keep spiraling downward into a pit of despair. it sucks and it seems like its never going to get better. but it got better before and i THINK its starting to get better again and will continue to get better.
i can't take advice or compliments very well, but i'm good at giving them: don't be so hard on yourself and remember, they're just kids, so anything you do for them will be spectacular.
Posted by littlep24 on June 24, 2004, at 9:17:01
In reply to Re: Is it OCD?, posted by tampagirl70 on June 24, 2004, at 8:17:43
TampaGirl,
Thanks for your thoughts. Yes I am on meds, I am dx as BiPolar II depressive with BPD tendencies. I am not sure that I am bipolar but that is another subject, every doctor I speak to gives me a different dx. I am trying to forget the dx and work on the symptoms. I take lithium 900 mgs, trileptal 900 mgs and lithium 50 mgs (I just started a couple of weeks ago so I am titrating up). Any suggestions on the meds? I need to post to the med board. I have gone to many therapists over the past 10 years and have told all of them my story which hasn't changed and they talk to me about my issues but nothing has sinked in they tell me I have some sort of blockage. I don't understand how someone in so much pain doesn't take the good advice they get.
As you said we have alot of similarites, beating oneself up for what you did and didn't do, IMPATIENT, and ALL the others you mentioned that me us spiral downwards. I too fought the meds, and unfortunately don't feel like I have found the right combination for me and wonder how do we determine when we feel good enough on the meds what should they do for us and what should we be doing for ourselves.
My issues aren't so much what the kids think it is how my actions affect my relationships with everyone.
I am glad to hear things are getting better for you.
Posted by TexasChic on June 24, 2004, at 11:47:09
In reply to Is it OCD?, posted by littlep24 on June 23, 2004, at 19:58:05
First off, I think a party of 30 kids would be extemely difficult for anyone to do by themselves. Do you have anyone to help you?
Your indecision could be either OCD or the depression talking, or both. I get stuck on one thing and worry unceasingly. I'm worrying myself silly right now about a situation at work. I just can't stop obsessing about it. And I constantly doubt whether or not I'm at fault. Logically, I don't think I am, but if someone is venemently arguing against me, its hard for me to trust my own judgement. That makes me have a hard time standing up to people. I guess all you can do is keep trying and learn from your mistakes. Its a never ending process for me.
Sorry I don't have any suggestions, but I hope it helps to know you aren't the only one who goes through this.
Posted by littlep24 on June 24, 2004, at 16:41:11
In reply to Re: Is it OCD?, posted by TexasChic on June 24, 2004, at 11:47:09
TexasChic,
I know that a party of 30 kids would be difficult for anyone. I believe that since I think I am inferior I have to do this so I feel superior, which is not at all the real me. Thanks for your insights. If it was for babblers I always feel like I am the only one going through it now I know different.
I am going to keep trying to get over my indecivness.
Posted by JohnDoenut on June 24, 2004, at 17:25:57
In reply to Is it OCD?, posted by littlep24 on June 23, 2004, at 19:58:05
> I guess it is obsessive to think about, should I buy 24 or 36 plates, all week long.
Try and make things easier by looking at empirical data while at the store. Like quantities, materials, and prices and comparing brands. Write it down if necessary. If you do it at the store then you'll be done. Hopefully. I think its best to buy 36 plates because if you need them then you'll have them and if you dont then set them aside and theyll come in handy in the future! We have a big bag filled with paper plates, cups and tableware just in case or for our next bbq!!!!
J
Posted by littlep24 on June 24, 2004, at 18:25:48
In reply to Re: Is it OCD?, posted by JohnDoenut on June 24, 2004, at 17:25:57
John,
Thanks for your thoughts.
I actually try to do that. I am good at comparing prices etc. No matter how many I buy I always feel it was the wrong thing to do. I am a work in progress and I hope to be able to post something positive about myself soon.
This is the end of the thread.
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