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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by TexasChic on June 15, 2004, at 10:10:09
In reply to Re: motivation. » deirdrehbrt, posted by ghost on June 14, 2004, at 22:30:15
Your acomplishment is encouraging to me. I'm trying to move out of my Grandmother's, but there is so much clutter I don't know where to start! I'm pretty sure alot of it has to do with OCD and the hording that sometimes comes with it. I have bags and bags of bills dating back several years, as well as other junk. I know I will be so much happier when I do move, so why am I dragging my feet so long? I've been saying I am going to move out for at least a year and a half now. I know the answer – I don't want to face the disorganized mess. I'm sure yours isn't as bad as mine, but I admire your ability to do it. Good luck in your move. It may be just the change you needed.
Posted by ghost on June 15, 2004, at 11:43:46
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by TexasChic on June 15, 2004, at 10:10:09
I found it was easiest to start where I spent the most time-- around my couch and comfy chair. because then i had the instant gratification of having an uncluttered favorite area, so it motivated me to keep going.
it was REALLY hard to let go of stuff. I'm a packrat, too, so it killed me to get rid of some stuff. i finally started asking myself "if i haven't used it so far, will i use it again?" or "what will happen if i didn't own this any more?" or "what are the chances i'll get a newer, better one of these if i sell or donate this one now?" and once i caught myself trying to keep "strange" things (old notes people wrote me whom i don't even speak to any more, for example), i knew it was time to take a break and come back later.
anyhow. good luck with YOUR sorting and organizing and whatnot. and thanks for your kind words.
Posted by B2chica on June 15, 2004, at 13:38:10
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by TexasChic on June 15, 2004, at 10:10:09
Hey TexasChic, i knew we were born of the same make! I'm a horder as well. However, regarding the papers that i have- i consider it to be well organized and business like. I have a filing cabinet for my bills, incoming/outgoing the whole schpeal. AND i keep my papers for 5-7 years. Infact just this last weekend i shreded some insurance monthly statements from 1998. I was quite proud of that. ;^)
Anyway, it's the other items that can bring a person down sometimes...all that dang clutter. So i do understand your frustration.
Just take it one piece, one section, one room one area whatever at a time. In fact sometimes i've heard that setting a time frame works for some people. rather than saying i'll clean up the spare bedroom you say i'll spend 1/2 hour in this room, either cleaning or organizing and this way you don't look at what you didn't get done you look at the accomplishment of actually spending the full 1/2 hour working on that room/area.Whatever works right?
later
b2c.
Posted by ghost on June 15, 2004, at 13:52:08
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by B2chica on June 15, 2004, at 13:38:10
Posted by TexasChic on June 15, 2004, at 14:15:26
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by B2chica on June 15, 2004, at 13:38:10
That's exactly what my T said, to just spend so many minutes a day on it. I've done it and it does work, I'm just not very good a staying with something I don't like doing. Plus its just hard sometimes when you've used all your energy just to get through the day. So I guess I'll just have to develop some discipline and get to it. I mean, I'm only hurting myself because the sooner I do it the sooner I can move out. Since my mom moved in with me and my Grandmother, well, lets just say its been bad. So I'm just sitting around being miserable when their is a very clear solution. Sigh. Like the title of this thread says, motivation.
Posted by ghost on June 15, 2004, at 14:42:20
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by TexasChic on June 15, 2004, at 14:15:26
i have a heck of a time staying with something that I don't like doing, too. i mean, who wants to do something they don't like? and i agree-- when so much energy is expended just to survive the day, it's that much harder to set aside time to add more discomfort to your day. but what about the big picture-- you can get out of your grandmother's house if you can put aside a few minutes a day to sort and go through things! which is a good thing, from the sounds of it.
i'll think motivational thoughts for you (and me... i'm not done yet).
Posted by TexasChic on June 15, 2004, at 15:19:09
In reply to Re: motivation. » TexasChic, posted by ghost on June 15, 2004, at 14:42:20
Thanks, I'll do the same for you!
Posted by Angel Girl on June 16, 2004, at 9:01:25
In reply to Re: motivation. » TexasChic, posted by ghost on June 15, 2004, at 14:42:20
I'm a packrat too and it amazes me sometimes how fast things can accumulate without you even realizing you're doing it.
I've heard that one of the key things in de-cluttering is to only pick up an item once. Decide right then and there what you're going to do with it. Don't say to yourself that you'll put that one aside and think about it later. Later will never come.
Another problem people have when trying to purge some of the clutter is letting emotions getting in the way. I think you have to look at it from a practical standpoint instead. As someone (sorry I forget who) said earlier in this thread, if you haven't used it in 'x' number of months or a year or whatever time frame you decide on, what is the likelihood that you will ever use it.
When it comes to clothes, if you're like me, you might have several sizes hanging in your closet. You hang onto the stuff that's too small hoping that someday you're going to get back into that size. But reality is that *if* you ever do get back into that size, are the clothes still going to be in style and would you really wear them?
Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who look at things from an emotional point of view, therefore making it harder to purge items. I think sometimes you just have to be brutal about it. Maybe get a friend to come and help you that doesn't have any emotional attachment to the items who can steer you in the right direction.
Have any of you watched the show "Clean Sweep" on TLC? I love that show. A "Clean Sweep" team comes into your home and you show them 2 rooms that you want to have de-cluttered so that they are more livable. It simply amazes me how some people can live. My clutter doesn't even compare to their clutter, thank God! They are pretty brutal with the people on purging their items and they hold a garage sale for what they're getting rid of. The "clean sweep" team also redecorates the 2 rooms, keeping in mind what the function of the rooms are supposed to be and providing the people enough storage for the items that they are keeping. They totally reorganize everything for the homeowners. I really recommend watching this show if you'd like some ideas on de-cluttering and/or organizing. At the very least it will make you feel better about your own clutter when you see how other people live. lol!!! Maybe you could even apply for the Clean Sweep team to come and help you with your own clutter. :D
Personally, I would probably be traumatized if Clean Sweep came here and started purging my stuff.
AG
Posted by ghost on June 16, 2004, at 9:12:39
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by Angel Girl on June 16, 2004, at 9:01:25
> Another problem people have when trying to purge some of the clutter is letting emotions getting in the way.
that's totally my problem. it's stupid stuff too, like "my dad gave me this cardboard box, so i have to keep it." man, i wonder about myself sometimes.
> When it comes to clothes, if you're like me, you might have several sizes hanging in your closet.
that's a really good point! and it makes me feel better that that's what i was thinking when i got rid of stuff in my closet this time around. i thought "well even if i DO get back down to this size, will i *really* want to wear this? if i ever shink, i want new clothes, damnit!"
> Maybe you could even apply for the Clean Sweep team to come and help you with your own clutter. :D
man, that would rock if a babbler got on clean sweep!
ghost
Posted by Angel Girl on June 16, 2004, at 11:31:04
In reply to Re: motivation. » Angel Girl, posted by ghost on June 16, 2004, at 9:12:39
> > Another problem people have when trying to purge some of the clutter is letting emotions getting in the way.
>
> that's totally my problem. it's stupid stuff too, like "my dad gave me this cardboard box, so i have to keep it." man, i wonder about myself sometimes.
>
> > When it comes to clothes, if you're like me, you might have several sizes hanging in your closet.
>
> that's a really good point! and it makes me feel better that that's what i was thinking when i got rid of stuff in my closet this time around. i thought "well even if i DO get back down to this size, will i *really* want to wear this? if i ever shink, i want new clothes, damnit!"
>
> > Maybe you could even apply for the Clean Sweep team to come and help you with your own clutter. :D
>
> man, that would rock if a babbler got on clean sweep!
>
> ghostghost
Don't feel bad about the box your father gave you. When my aunt died we were to see if there was anything in her house that we wanted. There was an old, and I do mean old, eggcup that my father used when he was a child growing up. I decided I wanted that eggcup. My dad had already passed away a few years earlier and I thought this eggcup would be a neat thing to have. So, what's the problem with that? That dang eggcup is all faded and has more chips out of it than I can count. It looks like something that belongs in the garbage but yet it sits in my kitchen cabinet because I can't bring myself to throw it out.
Now, if the Clean Sweep team ever came here, I'm sure that eggcup would be the first thing to go.
I also have birthday cards, etc that my dad had sent to my aunt while he was in the war. What am I possibly going to do with this stuff? Now, it just takes up space in my place. <sigh>
That would be cool if a babbler was on Clean Sweep but don't you dare go calling them to come to my place. YIKES!!!
AG
Posted by TexasChic on June 16, 2004, at 13:40:45
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by Angel Girl on June 16, 2004, at 9:01:25
Thanks for the pointers! I'll definitly use everything I've learned in this thread. Unfortunately, I don't have cable so I can't see Clean Sweep, but I bet I'd be addicted if I did.
I understand about the emotional attachment too. Right after my father died I found a half used roll or rolaids while cleaning out his car. For some reason I could not bare to through it away. When I thought about the fact that he bought it and never used all of it, and never would, it just tore me up. I eventually got over it and threw it away, but there are still alot of things I have that run along those lines.
Yall are really motivating me to get started. Thanks for the encouragement when this was not even my thread!
Posted by ghost on June 16, 2004, at 13:50:13
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by TexasChic on June 16, 2004, at 13:40:45
I completely understand the situation with the rolaids. I think I would have broken down for the exact same reason-- he'd never use the rest of them, it was something he'd bought for himself... etc. I totally understand. (good for you for eventually getting rid of them, though... while they serve no purpose really, you now think about it, and think about him-- giving them a great emotional purpose while you don't need to physically own them any more, if that makes sense.)
> Yall are really motivating me to get started. Thanks for the encouragement when this was not even my thread!
yay! that's good. and i was thinking how glad i was the focus was shifted from me to some other people. I think it's great. :)
Posted by ghost on June 16, 2004, at 13:53:55
In reply to Re: motivation. » ghost, posted by Angel Girl on June 16, 2004, at 11:31:04
i completely understand about the egg cup!! And hang onto it! it's small. just remember that the bags of old bills and newspapers and whatever else (if you're anything like me) should go... in exchange for the egg cup ;)
i do feel like a hypocrite since my last post... what's the difference between an old egg cup and a half a package of rolaids? hm. makes me think.
> I also have birthday cards, etc that my dad had sent to my aunt while he was in the war. What am I possibly going to do with this stuff? Now, it just takes up space in my place. <sigh>
i don't know... but maybe you can keep some of the nicer ones? or ones with letters? i once threw out all the bday cards my grandmother sent me... and then she passed away and i was upset. but then i started thinking "will i ever look at them again." however, when i was packing this week, i DID find the last bday card she ever sent me (the year she passed away), so i made sure to keep that one, because that one had significance. i don't know. i'm just rambling now.
> That would be cool if a babbler was on Clean Sweep but don't you dare go calling them to come to my place. YIKES!!!LOL. Okay. I promise not to call them on you. :)
Posted by Angela2 on June 17, 2004, at 17:17:45
In reply to i'm still alive., posted by ghost on June 14, 2004, at 1:32:58
Posted by Angel Girl on June 18, 2004, at 9:41:26
In reply to Re: motivation. » Angel Girl, posted by ghost on June 16, 2004, at 13:53:55
> i completely understand about the egg cup!! And hang onto it! it's small. just remember that the bags of old bills and newspapers and whatever else (if you're anything like me) should go... in exchange for the egg cup ;)
>
> i do feel like a hypocrite since my last post... what's the difference between an old egg cup and a half a package of rolaids? hm. makes me think.
>
> > I also have birthday cards, etc that my dad had sent to my aunt while he was in the war. What am I possibly going to do with this stuff? Now, it just takes up space in my place. <sigh>
>
> i don't know... but maybe you can keep some of the nicer ones? or ones with letters? i once threw out all the bday cards my grandmother sent me... and then she passed away and i was upset. but then i started thinking "will i ever look at them again." however, when i was packing this week, i DID find the last bday card she ever sent me (the year she passed away), so i made sure to keep that one, because that one had significance. i don't know. i'm just rambling now.
>
> > That would be cool if a babbler was on Clean Sweep but don't you dare go calling them to come to my place. YIKES!!!
>
> LOL. Okay. I promise not to call them on you. :)ghost
I've done the same thing, I've kept the last b/d cards sent b4 my aunt and Dad died.
It's so hard to get rid of things with sentimental value to them.
One thing that they try to teach the people who are on Clean Sweep is that *things* are not memories. Memories are in your head not in things. If you got rid of the *things*, you'd still have the memories. That's how they convince them to purge those items that they're having a hard time letting go of.
AG
Posted by ghost on June 18, 2004, at 10:53:09
In reply to Re: motivation. » ghost, posted by Angel Girl on June 18, 2004, at 9:41:26
> One thing that they try to teach the people who are on Clean Sweep is that *things* are not memories. Memories are in your head not in things. If you got rid of the *things*, you'd still have the memories. That's how they convince them to purge those items that they're having a hard time letting go of.
playing devil's advocate... i still say you have to pick and choose what's necessary to keep. i took paxil for awhile and it destroyed my memory. now i need physical things sometimes to keep things in my memory. i don't want to keep EVERYTHING, but some things i think are necessary.
i feel like i'm contradicting myself here. maybe i just like to argue. :/
Posted by Angel Girl on June 18, 2004, at 11:29:14
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by ghost on June 18, 2004, at 10:53:09
> > One thing that they try to teach the people who are on Clean Sweep is that *things* are not memories. Memories are in your head not in things. If you got rid of the *things*, you'd still have the memories. That's how they convince them to purge those items that they're having a hard time letting go of.
>
> playing devil's advocate... i still say you have to pick and choose what's necessary to keep. i took paxil for awhile and it destroyed my memory. now i need physical things sometimes to keep things in my memory. i don't want to keep EVERYTHING, but some things i think are necessary.
>
> i feel like i'm contradicting myself here. maybe i just like to argue. :/
ghostI'm sorry that Paxil left with loss of memory. I agree that you should keep what you want. Nobody would be convincing me of getting rid of something that I didn't want to but then again, that's why *I* wouldn't be a good candidate for the show and would never apply. The whole point is to throw things out and de-clutter. I think I'm *attached* to my clutter. :)
AG
Posted by ghost on June 18, 2004, at 11:41:47
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by Angel Girl on June 18, 2004, at 11:29:14
haha. yeah. now i'm attached to three rubbermaid totes, a set of luggage and two cardboard boxes.
man. when you say it like that... bleh.
i'm more upset that the paxil made me manic for 18 months solid and no one caught it. heh. the memory loss is slowly getting better (it's been many years!) although it did make school more difficult.
Posted by Angel Girl on June 19, 2004, at 11:17:14
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by ghost on June 18, 2004, at 11:41:47
> haha. yeah. now i'm attached to three rubbermaid totes, a set of luggage and two cardboard boxes.
>
> man. when you say it like that... bleh.
>
> i'm more upset that the paxil made me manic for 18 months solid and no one caught it. heh. the memory loss is slowly getting better (it's been many years!) although it did make school more difficult.
ghostDoes that mean you're all finished packing now?
Did you not notice the mania yourself? I have memory loss too, although it's funny. I've been downloading Beatles music from the net lately. I grew up in that era. The thing that I noticed, is that for the most part, I remember pretty much all the lyrics to the songs and even what song would be next on the album. BUT I don't remember things that are more current, ie: what day I took my last Lamictal. I *think* it was a week ago Thursday but I really couldn't say for sure. I really need to journal. I tried starting again but I kept forgetting to do it and when I did, I never had anything interesting to say. It never occurred to me to journal throughout my withdrawal. I probably should've done that. Oh well.
How far are you in school and are you still going?
AG
Posted by ghost on June 19, 2004, at 12:14:01
In reply to Re: motivation. » ghost, posted by Angel Girl on June 19, 2004, at 11:17:14
> Does that mean you're all finished packing now?
pretty much! i just have to put it in the car now, and pick up the trash left behind (mostly a few odd shoeboxes).
> Did you not notice the mania yourself? I have memory loss too, although it's funny. I've been downloading Beatles music from the net lately. I grew up in that era. The thing that I noticed, is that for the most part, I remember pretty much all the lyrics to the songs and even what song would be next on the album. BUT I don't remember things that are more current, ie: what day I took my last Lamictal. I *think* it was a week ago Thursday but I really couldn't say for sure. I really need to journal. I tried starting again but I kept forgetting to do it and when I did, I never had anything interesting to say. It never occurred to me to journal throughout my withdrawal. I probably should've done that. Oh well.i didn't notice the mania until years later. hindsight is 20/20, right? i didn't realise it wasn't healthy to up and go on roadtrips to meet people i barely knew for random sex, etc. but all i knew was that i wasn't DEPRESSED any more, so i thought i was better. i didn't even know there was such a thing as mania that could cause my behaviors to be weird or odd.
> How far are you in school and are you still going?
i just finished my first year of graduate school, and i opted not to continue on. partly because i didn't like the school/program, and partly because i was having my own problems to deal with. i mgiht go back one day. we'll see.
Posted by Angel Girl on June 19, 2004, at 17:18:01
In reply to Re: motivation. » Angel Girl, posted by ghost on June 19, 2004, at 12:14:01
> > Does that mean you're all finished packing now?
>
> pretty much! i just have to put it in the car now, and pick up the trash left behind (mostly a few odd shoeboxes).
>
> > Did you not notice the mania yourself? I have memory loss too, although it's funny. I've been downloading Beatles music from the net lately. I grew up in that era. The thing that I noticed, is that for the most part, I remember pretty much all the lyrics to the songs and even what song would be next on the album. BUT I don't remember things that are more current, ie: what day I took my last Lamictal. I *think* it was a week ago Thursday but I really couldn't say for sure. I really need to journal. I tried starting again but I kept forgetting to do it and when I did, I never had anything interesting to say. It never occurred to me to journal throughout my withdrawal. I probably should've done that. Oh well.
>
> i didn't notice the mania until years later. hindsight is 20/20, right? i didn't realise it wasn't healthy to up and go on roadtrips to meet people i barely knew for random sex, etc. but all i knew was that i wasn't DEPRESSED any more, so i thought i was better. i didn't even know there was such a thing as mania that could cause my behaviors to be weird or odd.
>
> > How far are you in school and are you still going?
>
> i just finished my first year of graduate school, and i opted not to continue on. partly because i didn't like the school/program, and partly because i was having my own problems to deal with. i mgiht go back one day. we'll see.
ghostSo, when is the big move day?
I know all too well about those road trips to meet up with people you barely know. Mine were with people I met on the net.
I also didn't recognize what mania was either. In fact, I was in my normal state of ' going through the motions' and never feeling happy with bouts of deep depression thrown in here and there and then all of a sudden I was *happy*. I had no idea what was going on and I wasn't about to knock it. For once in my life I felt good and I liked it. Unfortunately, that came to an end (don't all good things) with a *HUGE* bang and threw me right into the black hole with not even a flicker of light for me to find my way out. Luckily, I'm not there now but it has left me with depression ever since.
AG
Posted by ghost on June 19, 2004, at 18:50:12
In reply to Re: motivation. » ghost, posted by Angel Girl on June 19, 2004, at 17:18:01
> So, when is the big move day?
i think i will get on the road on monday and go from there...
> I know all too well about those road trips to meet up with people you barely know. Mine were with people I met on the net.mine too...
i think it's a harsh reality check when you find out that "happy" and "manic" are not the same thing...
Posted by Angel Girl on June 20, 2004, at 15:20:17
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by ghost on June 19, 2004, at 18:50:12
> > So, when is the big move day?
>
> i think i will get on the road on monday and go from there...
>
> > I know all too well about those road trips to meet up with people you barely know. Mine were with people I met on the net.
>
> mine too...
>
> i think it's a harsh reality check when you find out that "happy" and "manic" are not the same thing...
ghostSince you're leaving on Monday, I guess that means we won't be hearing from you for a while eh!
Happy and manic may not be the same but at least it sure beats the depression I'm going through now. Give me manic any day. :(
AG
Posted by ghost on June 20, 2004, at 15:21:32
In reply to Re: motivation. » ghost, posted by Angel Girl on June 20, 2004, at 15:20:17
> Since you're leaving on Monday, I guess that means we won't be hearing from you for a while eh!
i will try to stay online on the road-- most of the friends i'm staying with have internet access.
> Happy and manic may not be the same but at least it sure beats the depression I'm going through now. Give me manic any day. :(i always say that, too. i'll second that.
Posted by Angel Girl on June 21, 2004, at 13:38:06
In reply to Re: motivation., posted by ghost on June 20, 2004, at 15:21:32
> > Since you're leaving on Monday, I guess that means we won't be hearing from you for a while eh!
>
> i will try to stay online on the road-- most of the friends i'm staying with have internet access.
>
> > Happy and manic may not be the same but at least it sure beats the depression I'm going through now. Give me manic any day. :(
>
> i always say that, too. i'll second that.
ghostI'm glad you're going to try and stay online as much as you can on your journey. You're going to NH, right? Memory ain't what it used to be anymore.
Can I third my comment on happy vs manic? Wish I knew how to bring on a manic episode. I'm currently on extremely little mood stabilizer and yet I'm still depressed if not even more than before. Just my luck that it would go that way. :(
AG
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