Posted by Angel Girl on June 19, 2004, at 17:18:01
In reply to Re: motivation. » Angel Girl, posted by ghost on June 19, 2004, at 12:14:01
> > Does that mean you're all finished packing now?
>
> pretty much! i just have to put it in the car now, and pick up the trash left behind (mostly a few odd shoeboxes).
>
> > Did you not notice the mania yourself? I have memory loss too, although it's funny. I've been downloading Beatles music from the net lately. I grew up in that era. The thing that I noticed, is that for the most part, I remember pretty much all the lyrics to the songs and even what song would be next on the album. BUT I don't remember things that are more current, ie: what day I took my last Lamictal. I *think* it was a week ago Thursday but I really couldn't say for sure. I really need to journal. I tried starting again but I kept forgetting to do it and when I did, I never had anything interesting to say. It never occurred to me to journal throughout my withdrawal. I probably should've done that. Oh well.
>
> i didn't notice the mania until years later. hindsight is 20/20, right? i didn't realise it wasn't healthy to up and go on roadtrips to meet people i barely knew for random sex, etc. but all i knew was that i wasn't DEPRESSED any more, so i thought i was better. i didn't even know there was such a thing as mania that could cause my behaviors to be weird or odd.
>
> > How far are you in school and are you still going?
>
> i just finished my first year of graduate school, and i opted not to continue on. partly because i didn't like the school/program, and partly because i was having my own problems to deal with. i mgiht go back one day. we'll see.
ghostSo, when is the big move day?
I know all too well about those road trips to meet up with people you barely know. Mine were with people I met on the net.
I also didn't recognize what mania was either. In fact, I was in my normal state of ' going through the motions' and never feeling happy with bouts of deep depression thrown in here and there and then all of a sudden I was *happy*. I had no idea what was going on and I wasn't about to knock it. For once in my life I felt good and I liked it. Unfortunately, that came to an end (don't all good things) with a *HUGE* bang and threw me right into the black hole with not even a flicker of light for me to find my way out. Luckily, I'm not there now but it has left me with depression ever since.
AG
poster:Angel Girl
thread:356453
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/358154.html