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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 9:03:24
In reply to Emmy, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 0:13:28
The sound of the sea and the sight of the waves, ever changing and adapting, just flowing with whatever obstacles they find - that's how I wish all our lives could be. Just to be able to morph whenever something comes up to alter our hopes and dreams, to be able to change our expectations and not feel defeated by it.
(((Sandy))) you have not let anyone down, Sandy. Please go get help if you're close to doing something irreversible.
Posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 10:08:41
In reply to Re: Sandy » mystic, posted by SandyWeb on May 30, 2004, at 23:41:07
Hi girlfriend . . . I'm so happy to hear from you and that you're still among the living :-) I'm trying to get caught up after being away from my computer all weekend - lots of posts! I am totally okay with your situation and talking to you regularly or irregularly doesn't bother me. I was quite nervous not hearing from you, of course, but I understand how that goes because I'm the same way.
How are you???? Are you able to deal with whatever's happened this week? Please take it step by step, day by day okay?
You're not a bad person and not everything you do turns out badly. Not committing suicide is not a failing . . . quite the opposite, it's your spirit and will to live coming through.
Please just worry about yourself sweetie, that's enough for you to take on right now :-).
I'm not ready to give up on you. I saw this wall hanging this weekend that said "Don't return a kindness, pass it along." That's why I'm fine with you just "taking" as you say. IT IS OKAY!!!!! You'll be able to pass it along some other time in your life.
Please don't end your life. Why won't you try meds or herbs again? I have a whole bottle of 5htp I bought before I went on Lexapro so didn't take much of it. I can send it to you if you want to try it. If you could just get a little relief from your depression, it could make a huge difference.
Please call me if you want, I really don't mind talking to you in person if you think it would help, okay? 1-800-222-8215 x9507.
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I'm sorry I hurt you, Mystic.
>
> I'm surprised that you all didn't kick me before this point. I really, really deserve it. I am a very callous, unfeeling, self-absorbed person for not having been more attentive to your needs.
>
> This past week has been enormously draining on me. And it just is too much to share because all I do is take and take.....and never give back to you. And I'm not very pleased with the type of person I am.
>
> It's just too much. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I NEVER EVER meant to hurt any of you. I was overwhelmed that anyone even wanted to walk this course with me!!! And I thank you for sticking with me for so long.
>
> I'm not a good person, I know that. I'm very selfish, and I took you all for granted. It just was too much to keep writing to you all about "poor little me"....and I never had the energy to actually give back anything in return. I feel like a louse.
>
> I feel sick to my stomach. I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was sparing you all by not sending messages anymore. I didn't expect to still be here today. I thought it would have been over last week. And I really can't stand being such a failure. And I'm sorry for hurting you.
>
> So I guess we should close up shop now. I know you all need support, and I'm dragging you down. I can't seem to do it right...whether I talk or remain silent...I end up causing problems for you all.
>
> I *am* sorry. But this is what I do....I mess up. All my life. Forever more.
>
> Time to go to bed. I wish you all the best!! I really do.
>
> Hugs,
> Sandy
>
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 1, 2004, at 11:05:30
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!! » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 10:08:41
Linda - Nice of you to set up an 800 help line for all of us ;-)
You are SO sweet to put that out there for Sandy. You are good people. I wanted you and Sandy and JLynne etc. to see my new name in case you don't notice it below. Take care! Hugs.
Emmy...the tofu one.
emilysimon2003 at yahoo dot com
Posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 11:21:01
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!! » LynneDa, posted by TofuEmmy on June 1, 2004, at 11:05:30
Got drunk and passed out.
Nothing happened.
Just getting up now.
I'm just a fool. Sorry. This is too much for you guys.
Sandra
Posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 11:23:25
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!!, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 11:21:01
It's not too much. We're here if you need us!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Got drunk and passed out.
>
> Nothing happened.
>
> Just getting up now.
>
> I'm just a fool. Sorry. This is too much for you guys.
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
Posted by LynneDa on June 1, 2004, at 11:30:20
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!! » LynneDa, posted by TofuEmmy on June 1, 2004, at 11:05:30
Hi Emmy -
I know, it's a risk to put my phone number on a website :-). I really don't mind talking to anyone who is about to burst and needs to hear a voice, though! I'm a recruiter and my number is in about 15 newspaper ads or web postings each week anyway! Thanks for letting us know your new name & email address!Your posts have been great - very sensible and to-the-point! You said some things that needed to be said. Everyone goes through these crises in their own way and can use or not use this site - there should be no obligation or guilt involved!
Sandy - so many of us have been where you've been (to a greater or lesser degree perhaps) and have lived to tell the tale. As low as you are right now you have nowhere to go but up!!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Linda - Nice of you to set up an 800 help line for all of us ;-)
>
> You are SO sweet to put that out there for Sandy. You are good people. I wanted you and Sandy and JLynne etc. to see my new name in case you don't notice it below. Take care! Hugs.
>
> Emmy...the tofu one.
> emilysimon2003 at yahoo dot com
>
Posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 12:24:29
In reply to Re: Sandy - please read!!!, posted by SandyWeb on June 1, 2004, at 11:21:01
Sandy, you know we're still here for you. Please be kind to yourself.
pc
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 3:15:32
In reply to Never too much » SandyWeb, posted by partlycloudy on June 1, 2004, at 12:24:29
Gosh, Sandy . . . I hope you don't think that I have desserted you. I have been away from the boards for awhile because of some personal family issues that needed my attention. I just got home from taking my grandsons back to my daughter and it is 1:00 a.m. on Wed. This is the first I've even peeked in since last Friday. Looks like the thread has been hopping, eh?
My mind is kind of mush right now - long hard weekend, but I will try to think of something profound to post that will put everyone in awe tomorrow after work, ok? (LOL)
For what it is worth, sweetie . . . and I haven't had time to read all the posts from the weekend . . . this is your life, and you need to remember that there is no set way to do this; we all have to discover our own answers and it all has to be done at our own pace and in our own time.
As I said, I will be profound tomorrow.
God bless you, Sandy
((((HUGS)))) ((((Sandy))))
...jlynne
Posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 9:33:38
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 3:15:32
Hi Jlynne - glad to see you back! I missed your posts, profound or not :-) Hang on tight to your surf board lady!!! I hope the anniversary passes by without too many big waves. Those dates are hard, but having feelings about them and then processing them the best you can is all a part of your healing. You are such a wise woman and I know you're on the right track!
~ Lynne
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
In reply to Re: Jlynne » jlynne, posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 9:33:38
Hi jlynne,
It's good to hear from you again. Yes, you were missed. Here's hoping that you're weathering your storm fairly well. ((jlynne))
You needn't bother reading through all the messages that you missed. It basically comes down to me still being up the creek without a paddle. Lol. Nothing new about that.
I'm just getting out of bed at 2pm here. I don't do anything but sleep now. I'm going to try and take a shower now, but I feel so weak. Ugh.
Almost phoned the Mobile Crisis Line last night, but I couldn't. I would have to think that I was worth their time to bother them, and right now I don't feel worth diddly. I don't even know how to stick up for myself against my 15-year old son. I'm so tired.
Anyways, welcome back. Always good to have you around.
Sandra
Posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 12:54:45
In reply to Re: Jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
Hey Sandy - Just a thought that came to me while reading your note to Jlynne:
If it weren't for people who felt so down that they didn't feel they were worth anybody's trouble, there would be no need for a mobile crisis unit . . . think on that for a minute :-).
Love ya,
Lynne
{{{{Sandra}}} {{{Jlynne}}}
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
In reply to Re: Jlynne » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 12:54:45
Hey girlie,
I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
Sandy
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:11:54
In reply to LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
> Hey girlie,
>
> I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
>
> SandyLynne - "Yeah, what she said!" (*smile*)
...jlynne
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
In reply to Re: Jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
Sorry, kid . . . the profundity I promised hasn't ignited the ol' synapses yet; hard to be brilliant on three hours of sleep.
Good luck with your son - I was the single mother of a 15-yr old son, too (argh!). I really think Adam and Eve must have screwed up more than what we are aware of, because NO ONE deserves the kind of punishment we get as parents of adolescents!! (yes, I like to shift blame whenever possible *smile*)
((((Sandy)))) ((((mothers))))
...jlynne
P.S. My son is now 34 yrs old and has a 10yr old son of his own (heh heh).
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 20:44:55
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
Jlynne,
Banish the thought of my children having kids of their own! Yikes! Then again, I suppose I might have much more FUN being grammie rather than mum. You're a lucky duck, jlynne!
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:08:13
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
SCAT!
Get to bed!!
3-hours sleep is not enough to make sense on Babble!!
Then again, a fine-tuned sleep-fulfilled brain probably wouldn't make much sense to us Babblers.
Okay, forget the SCAT.
Come on BACK! Forget the sleep! Let's all play ineptly together in Babble-land! *smile*
Sandy
(have a good night's sleep, jlynne)
Posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 21:37:21
In reply to And Another Thing Jlynne...., posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:08:13
Sandy,
I can "hear" the smile in your post. It feels pretty genuine to me compared to some other posts in the recent past when I know you were really struggling. I know you still face an uphill battle, but I hope that light-hearted feeling stays with you for longer and longer periods of time in the future.(((Sandy)))
gg
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:49:19
In reply to Jumping in, posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 21:37:21
Hey gg,
You can jump in any time. Is this what they call "Double Dutch"?? (I'm probably dating myself with that jumping-rope game!)
Yup, there's been a shifting for some reason. Nothing's changed, so I'm not sure why it happened. I guess you can only handle being "down" for so long before the body starts to rebell!! It doesn't feel "natural"....but I'll take it!!!!! And fill me up for a second round too, please! *smile*
I think I'll probably stay up all night tonight....watching tv.....just so I can keep this okay feeling with me. I don't want to go to sleep and then wake up as the morose little dweeb I've been for AGES now. I don't want to lose this little spark. So....lots of surfing the internet and watching tv to the wee hours for this ole ma! Of course, by staying up all night I'll probably feel like a Grandma by morning (What?? Did you say something, jlynne??).
Have a good night, gg!! And thanks for the messages that you have sent. I didn't always respond to everyone, and I had the best of intentions. I really did appreciate that you were with me. (((GG))) Thanks again!!
Sandy
Posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 22:12:01
In reply to Re: Jumping in » gardenergirl, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:49:19
Anytime, Sandy. I'm feeling a bit frazzled and lonely myself, so I'm glad you were still up to post. But I'm going to bed soon. I've been staying up really late too, and at my age, it's starting to catch up with me.
Take care!
gg
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 2, 2004, at 23:33:21
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 23:47:22
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 23:42:20
In reply to Re: Jumping in, posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 22:12:01
Wishing you pleasant dreams, gg!
((gg))
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 23:51:27
In reply to Hello,SandyWeb, posted by jlynne on March 23, 2004, at 23:19:56
Good Ev-e-ning!
I'm pooping out, so I guess I won't be up all night afterall. Shucks! I can hear the old age creeping up on me already. *smile*
I just happened to look at the page with ALL the posts from this thread. Wow-sers!!!! What a roller coaster, huh?? My goodness! I'm not about to go in and read those messages again. Good riddance, I say! Lol.
Sorry I took all of you on such a ride. I didn't realize it had been that bumpy for all of you. I was a basket case, huh?!?
Thanks for standing by me through all this. You guys deserve a medal! I really, really appreciate it. By the looks of things, you helped me to hang on sometimes. I don't remember PRECISELY.....but I think I was depressed?? Lol!!
Have a great day!
Sandy
Posted by jlynne on June 3, 2004, at 1:56:23
In reply to Re: Sandy » jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 20:44:55
> Jlynne,
>
> Banish the thought of my children having kids of their own! Yikes! Then again, I suppose I might have much more FUN being grammie rather than mum. You're a lucky duck, jlynne!
>
> Sandy
>Hey, Sandy . . . it's the only revenge we are allowed, for them to have teenagers of their own. LOL
Nice to see you smiling again, sweetie. Don't question it:~)
((((HUGS)))) ((((smiles))))
...jlynne
P.S. Don't think I missed that crack about "grandmas". *smile*
Posted by partlycloudy on June 3, 2004, at 12:42:04
In reply to Good Gracious!!, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 23:51:27
I think you deserve a brand new thread so you can put last week behind you. Go for it, girl!
Posted by LynneDa on June 3, 2004, at 13:59:04
In reply to LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
3 philosophy classes . . . wow, no wonder you are such a deep thinker! I'm glad to know I could make it as a philosophy teacher if I needed a fall-back career! I was always a glass half full, Pollyanna type - could find the good in any situation. At 40, my rose-colored glasses have become a little less rosy. I sure wouldn't mind being that glass half full girl again!
I am SO happy to hear a lighter tone in your notes. I hope it lasts for you sweetie! Even if it occasionally dimishes, you know you are capable of feeling good and that the down times are NOT your permanent state, but just a temporary aberration! :-)
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hey girlie,
>
> I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
>
> Sandy
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