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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by smokeymadison on April 21, 2004, at 19:47:12
my most recent obsession revolved around my boyfriend trying to hurt me. i told all my family and friends he was dangerous and i called the police on him twice. the obsession broke a few days ago and i am left reeling in despair of ever getting well. everyone is sick of me. the friend i moved in with is so mad that i went back to him and refuted everything i had said about him that she won't talk to me and kicked me out of her house. now, she is the one who kept me alive a few years ago when i was suicidual. to lose her now hurts so much.
my therapist says that i have a choice, that i can choose to stop it, but i don't see how. the obsessions, when i lose touch with reality, are killing me. any thoughts on how to prevent them? i am so depressed right now, i just want to curl up in bed and die.
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 21, 2004, at 20:16:20
In reply to losing all my friends, posted by smokeymadison on April 21, 2004, at 19:47:12
smokey..
i am sorry you feel so desperate ..
i cant tell you how to prevent the loss of reality..but i can tell you how i keep mine at bay..
for me i need to feel safe..safe from others..safe from myself..
remove myself from "triggers"..sometimes they are people, sometimes they are loneliness..
i dont have a choice from things i hear, or the terror i feel..but i have a choice on how i react to them..
please smokey..
dont curl up..face it with the strenth that is hidden with in you..
post soon..
jyl
Posted by smokeymadison on April 22, 2004, at 10:25:53
In reply to Re: losing all my friends » smokeymadison, posted by justyourlaugh on April 21, 2004, at 20:16:20
thanks. i am feeling a little better now. i just am tired of all this and what it does to everyone around me.
Posted by TexasChic on April 26, 2004, at 9:56:39
In reply to Re: losing all my friends, posted by smokeymadison on April 22, 2004, at 10:25:53
I have something similar happening to me. Maybe not the same thing, but close. My thing is I get really really paranoid. I think my friends are mad at me at me and talking about me behind my back. I end up tearfully asking them if they're mad at me and don't believe them when they tell me no. But then, like you, it passes and I feel stupid. I hate it because it makes me look weak and needy.
I have been trying to control it by not acting on these feelings right away. I just tell myself, okay, I'm going to wait a few days or so and see if I still feel this way. Its really hard, but it has worked for me.
The thing is, I know my paranoia comes from my depression. So if I take my meds and see my therapist regularly, it makes a huge difference. The good thing about going to a therapist is, I can run these things by her and she will advise me as to whether or not I have a real reason to feel that way. That's a big help.
Posted by ramsea on April 26, 2004, at 13:26:14
In reply to Re: losing all my friends, posted by TexasChic on April 26, 2004, at 9:56:39
This will sound whining. I know how irritated people get when someone says stuff like I feel like saying. For starters I have lost all friends after a 2yr Mixed Episode; no one felt close enough to stick around. Fair enough. I am fortunate with my family--very understanding and supportive.
I can't even make friends in cyberspace though. I really have tried for four years, trying different groups. I have yet to have any sustained cyberfriend. And often in groups my posts get ignored and when I spend a lot of energy trying to support someone, it's good I don't expect a reply or note of teensy thanks, because usually they just skip over and don't make any direct comment. It feels cold, impersonal and lonely. Why do I bother? It is one of my only social outlets. So I talk to the screen. I am dipping a little too low in mood right now--maybe shouldn't say too much coz I may feel better tomorrow. I just feel so sad. This is a nasty mood state and I hope and pray it lifts soonbecause I have such low tolerance for high intensity sorrow. So bye for now, your friend (NOT!) ramsea, the one who tries harder, but gets less
Posted by lonelygirl on April 26, 2004, at 17:04:33
In reply to no friends, low lowlow, posted by ramsea on April 26, 2004, at 13:26:14
Hi ramsea,
Sorry to hear about your friend troubles. I don't have any friends either. I have never had more than a couple of friends at a time, but the last time I had any friends at all was probably 6 or 7 years ago. (I have also never had a boyfriend, or even been on a date.) So, I know how you feel. I also know what you mean about people getting irritated. It's almost like people get mad at me for having no friends -- as though they're offended if I mention it! Therefore, I usually don't, and then people just ignore me for the most part.
There have been a couple other people here on Babble recently who have expressed similar frustrations about being (for lack of a better term) cyber-ignored. It is unfortunate. : (
I know how that is, too! I have a livejournal and an opendiary, and I'm lucky if I get a single note on an entry that I post in both places. Livejournal even keeps track of how many notes you leave and how many you receive, and my totals are very lopsided (I leave many, many more than I receive). I probably shouldn't waste my time writing all those long entries because nobody ends up reading them anyway, but as you said, it's just about my only "outlet." (I don't even have much contact with my family.)
I have also been on other message boards where I've had experiences similar to what you described. I usually stick around for a fairly long time, but eventually, I just get tired of it and move on to somewhere else. I used to post on healthboards, and I mostly tried to answer other people's questions and "be supportive," but every so often, I asked a question, and nobody ever answered!!! Last year, I found an unofficial web site for my school, which includes message boards, and it seemed like as soon as I posted on a thread, it just died -- nobody else posted after me. I have over 100 people on my AIM "buddy list," but I have gone weeks without getting a single IM (and most of the IMs I do get are from my mother, usually to nag me about something).
I would suggest you try the Babble-Open chat room, but that seems to cause even more problems sometimes...
Well, sorry to be so long-winded, and sorry to see that you are experiencing this, because I know how much it stinks.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 27, 2004, at 0:49:38
In reply to no friends, low lowlow, posted by ramsea on April 26, 2004, at 13:26:14
This is the end of the thread.
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