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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 12:02:17
You guys are giving me the strange desire I haven't had in years and years to pretty myself up. To lose some weight. To get those skin tags removed from around my eyes. To see if there's not something I can do with my hair. To get at least a couple of pieces of clothing that are pretty rather than comfortable. To polish my shoes instead of just cleaning off any gum or dog mess I might have stepped in.
I'm going to go lie down until the feeling passes.
Posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 12:30:55
In reply to You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 12:02:17
Oh come on Dinah! It can be really fun if you give it a chance. I actually really admire you for not being so concerned with what you look like. I think I'm getting better at not being so concerned with it too. I suggest you go get your hair done if you can afford it. It doesn't have to be anything major, maybe just get it styled and put some light make-up on, see what your hubby says. Actually...men don't typically notice these things, but he just might if you drop a hint. :)
Elle
Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 13:48:48
In reply to Re: You guys » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 12:30:55
I am soooo lucky. My husband doesn't like makeup on women. Whew!!!
Let's see. I got my hair cut last fall when it got a bit cooler. And now I need to let it grow out for a while. But I do have all sorts of hair stuff around here I could play with. Of course I think all of it was from the seventies and eighties. Shall I go all retro?
Posted by Penny on February 7, 2004, at 14:58:10
In reply to You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 12:02:17
> You guys are giving me the strange desire I haven't had in years and years to pretty myself up. To lose some weight. To get those skin tags removed from around my eyes. To see if there's not something I can do with my hair. To get at least a couple of pieces of clothing that are pretty rather than comfortable. To polish my shoes instead of just cleaning off any gum or dog mess I might have stepped in.
>
> I'm going to go lie down until the feeling passes.ROFLMAO!!!!
Oh Dinah...I can't stop smiling about that. Do you know, I am actually tempted to see if I can find a reasonably priced hair salon around here - I haven't had my hair cut in over a year :-(
I do wear makeup, but about 10 minutes later, it looks as though I don't have any on. So, I'm not sure what the point is!
Oh well...
Dinah - you are fabulous, dahling.
(((Dinah)))
P
Posted by pegasus on February 7, 2004, at 15:00:55
In reply to Re: You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 13:48:48
Dinah, I think you should! But also you should know that modern hair accessories are pretty nifty. I love those little jaw clips that you can get all over the place now. It makes it so much easier to get your hair up, or hold it back.
I think it's fun to get a little dressed up. My husband also doesn't like makeup on women, but I do it anyway, for myself. I grew up wearing makeup (I mean, after an appropriate age, of course), and there is something about the ritual of it that I find very soothing. Same with wearing nice clothes. Not that I do all that often.
Which is not to say that it can drag you out of a deep depression or anything. I know "fixing yourself up" showed up in our stupid depression advice poll. But if you're inspired anyway, I think it *can* lift a non-depressed mood. Works for me anyway.
You gotta tell us what happens if you do go for it.
-p
Posted by Poet on February 7, 2004, at 15:26:09
In reply to You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 12:02:17
Hi Dinah,
Start prettying up slowly or you will look in the mirror and not recognize yourself. I'm suffering from identity confusion because for my new job I wore all new clothes (and shoes!) and got my hair cut. I even used the styling spray my hair dresser gave me as a gift.
Too much, too soon, I told my therapist I don't know who I am anymore. Of course, she reminded me, so I guess I'm the same Poet in a prettier package.
Poet
Posted by Pfinstegg on February 7, 2004, at 16:17:52
In reply to Re: You guys » Dinah, posted by Poet on February 7, 2004, at 15:26:09
I got a little thrill hearing these words from you, Dinah! You took them back a little, but not really or totally, and you can see that everyone seems to be excited about you doing it. I am in the process of doing the same thing: I used to hate going to the hairdresser, because I didn't like to look in the mirror (body dysmorphic disorder), but I've gotten better enough to have found a new hairdresser whom I like, and to be more comfortable going- the result is a much better haircut which stays better, day to day, I think. I also had those SKIN TAGS removed- by laser, not liquid nitrogen, as the latter leaves a little white patch, and got advice about taking care of my skin- it looks better, too, and I am experimenting with some things beyond lipstick. It's fun, and I like doing it! My final thing was to buy some new "analysis clothes" to go and see my analyst in. At first, they were just for visits to him, but now I am using them to go out, too, which I'm able to do much more. Of course, there are still some of those really down days when I drag in to the analyst without taking any beauty steps whatsoever. Still, if I can do it at my age, and actually be pleased with the positive results, think what you could do!
Eagerly waiting for the details...
Pfinstegg
Posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 16:18:36
In reply to Re: You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 13:48:48
> I am soooo lucky. My husband doesn't like makeup on women. Whew!!!
I know, but do you like make-up on yourself? I used to work for Clinique, if you go there (usually have counters at places like Macy's and other dept. stores) then they will give you a free makeover. Just tell them to go light on the makeup since you haven't really worn it before.
> But I do have all sorts of hair stuff around here I could play with. Of course I think all of it was from the seventies and eighties. Shall I go all retro?
Some of the hairstyles that I like the best on me, I discovered while experimenting. Curling, straightening, etc. It's fun, but be careful or you will end up with crispy hair and split ends! :)
Elle
Posted by fallsfall on February 7, 2004, at 18:20:42
In reply to You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 12:02:17
My goodness, Dinah! Whatever are you thinking?
Pretty rather than comfortable? Polishing shoes? At least YOU didn't say anything about makeup.
Frumpy, unstylish and comfortable women of the world unite! We don't have to bow to high heels, makeup and nail polish! We can be ugly all by ourselves. Just think of all the money we save! Just think of all the time we save!
I like to think that the lack of makeup lets my pores breathe better. I think that letting my grey show keeps my hair stronger (heaven knows it needs all the help it can get...). Longer skirts mean that I can still wear the stockings with the runs at the knees and no one knows.
I just avoid mirrors - my self-image is better than my physical image...
Posted by shar on February 7, 2004, at 20:07:36
In reply to Re: You guys » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on February 7, 2004, at 18:20:42
> Frumpy, unstylish and comfortable women of the world unite!
.......I'll join that club! But, anybody who has the urge to play hair or makeup also has my support. Once my sister saw me in curlers (a VERY rare event) and she called me a traitor...lol.
>Longer skirts mean that I can still wear the stockings with the runs at the knees and no one knows.
.......Longer skirts mean I get to wear cheaters! (knee-highs, and no one knows.) But, I do wear a slip that covers my knees, so if the wind whipped the skirt up, the slip would keep me from looking too grandmotherly...
>
> I just avoid mirrors - my self-image is better than my physical image............Mine, too. I'm often quite surprised by who is looking back at me.
Shar
Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 23:24:58
In reply to Re: You guys » fallsfall, posted by shar on February 7, 2004, at 20:07:36
The thought of all the time involved! I consider myself well groomed if I manage to bathe and wash my hair.
But maybe I will look into having the skin tags removed, if it's not too costly. They, more than anything, make me ugly rather than plain. My eye doctor keeps thinking they're warts. :(( And I'm going to a dermatologist soon anyway.
And maybe if they're gone, I'll have more motivation to try.
Then next, I'll start upping my Vitamin C so I can shave without the cuts taking forever to heal.
Oh. Oh. And maybe electrolysis for my chin. I'm blonde enough that it isn't really noticeable. But I know, you know? And it makes me feel terribly unlovely.
And maybe some weight loss.
I don't think I'll do the fancy stuff until the actual defects are cured.
Posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 23:36:15
In reply to Re: I think I've beaten the urge...., posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 23:24:58
> Oh. Oh. And maybe electrolysis for my chin. I'm blonde enough that it isn't really noticeable. But I know, you know? And it makes me feel terribly unlovely.
Your a blonde? I had pictured you as a brunette for some reason. :) I'm a blonde too.
Elle
Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 23:42:32
In reply to Re: I think I've beaten the urge.... » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 23:36:15
Dirty blonde, actually. Dark enough that it was more light brown before I started going grey (although the professionals still insisted it was blonde, not brown - a technical distinction I'm sure). Now it looks more dark blonde again. But my body hair, including my chin hair thank heavens, is a light blonde.
Posted by Medusa on February 8, 2004, at 1:04:33
In reply to You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 12:02:17
> To lose some weight.
Don't ... please? The typical approaches to that involve self-deprivation, which can have horrible consequences for any woman with a sense of Self. There's a book called _When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies_, Munter and somebody. Lots of body-image exercises and self-acceptance stuff. I found the 'mirror work' pretty hard to work up to - it took years of avoiding it to get there.
>clothing that are pretty rather than comfortable.
>Comfort is key, Dinah! Otherwise pretty will look pained ...
I'm finding that the way I dressed for a while really put some people off, and 'removing' that distraction has put me on more neutral territory with the majority. The sad, flip side is my attire of baggy green elastic-waist jersey pants and baggy t-shirt (often in a clashing green, egads) and teva-sandals (including in cold winter, with bare feet) fascinated some people (esp. staff at garden centers) and I miss that - the twinkle of she-doesn't-fit-in-either from occasional people I encountered. I don't feel like the social trade-off of pleasing the majority is really worth it, but another facet is that I wasn't allowing myself the full range of choices my personality needs. I'm part grubby duds, but also part textile-fanatic formful fibers too.Dinah, if you go a similar path, be patient with yourself. It can take a lot of experimentation, which includes some 'this doesn't work at all' experiences. I started out buying and sewing stuff that was my +mother's+ style, which I only figured out when I noticed that *she* looked simply smashing in ensembles of flubbed attempts I'd passed on to her.
Posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 9:57:02
In reply to Re: I think I've beaten the urge...., posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 23:24:58
> The thought of all the time involved! I consider myself well groomed if I manage to bathe and wash my hair.
>
> But maybe I will look into having the skin tags removed, if it's not too costly. They, more than anything, make me ugly rather than plain. My eye doctor keeps thinking they're warts. :(( And I'm going to a dermatologist soon anyway.
>
> And maybe if they're gone, I'll have more motivation to try.
>
> Then next, I'll start upping my Vitamin C so I can shave without the cuts taking forever to heal.***** OMG *****
Dinah, you shave??????? I certainly don't (well, I shave my armpits once a year before I go on vacation - when I *might* wear a bathing suit - with a Tshirt on top, of course).
****************
>
> Oh. Oh. And maybe electrolysis for my chin. I'm blonde enough that it isn't really noticeable. But I know, you know? And it makes me feel terribly unlovely.
>
> And maybe some weight loss.
>
> I don't think I'll do the fancy stuff until the actual defects are cured.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 8:18:25
In reply to Re: I think I've beaten the urge....OMG » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 9:57:02
I think that you are 100% perfect just the way you are! If you think it may be fun to change just for fun, or to try something new, then you should do it for you. But, as one of your biggest fans, I must say, you are a true beauty, with or without makeup and fancy clothes. I really wish I was more like you, in more ways than one.....
Posted by Penny on February 9, 2004, at 9:18:29
In reply to good lord Dinah! » Dinah, posted by Medusa on February 8, 2004, at 1:04:33
Medusa,
Thanks for mentioning "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies"! I checked it out from the library yesterday, and started reading last night. I'm sure my T will be pleased when I take it with me to therapy tomorrow...
P
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