Posted by Medusa on February 8, 2004, at 1:04:33
In reply to You guys, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 12:02:17
> To lose some weight.
Don't ... please? The typical approaches to that involve self-deprivation, which can have horrible consequences for any woman with a sense of Self. There's a book called _When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies_, Munter and somebody. Lots of body-image exercises and self-acceptance stuff. I found the 'mirror work' pretty hard to work up to - it took years of avoiding it to get there.
>clothing that are pretty rather than comfortable.
>Comfort is key, Dinah! Otherwise pretty will look pained ...
I'm finding that the way I dressed for a while really put some people off, and 'removing' that distraction has put me on more neutral territory with the majority. The sad, flip side is my attire of baggy green elastic-waist jersey pants and baggy t-shirt (often in a clashing green, egads) and teva-sandals (including in cold winter, with bare feet) fascinated some people (esp. staff at garden centers) and I miss that - the twinkle of she-doesn't-fit-in-either from occasional people I encountered. I don't feel like the social trade-off of pleasing the majority is really worth it, but another facet is that I wasn't allowing myself the full range of choices my personality needs. I'm part grubby duds, but also part textile-fanatic formful fibers too.Dinah, if you go a similar path, be patient with yourself. It can take a lot of experimentation, which includes some 'this doesn't work at all' experiences. I started out buying and sewing stuff that was my +mother's+ style, which I only figured out when I noticed that *she* looked simply smashing in ensembles of flubbed attempts I'd passed on to her.
poster:Medusa
thread:310493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/310800.html