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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
I am very, VERY sad. It has been a while since I have been here. I was just wondering if there is anyone who could make me feel a little better?
-Miller
Posted by octopusprime on December 13, 2003, at 23:14:13
In reply to Does anyone remember me?, posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
hi miller.
i remember your name.i don't know if i can help you feel any better.
but i know us humans are a resilient bunch
built to endure
these dark days shall too pass
it's always darkest just before the dawn
find strength in the world around you
draw upon your resources
and try to find the peace that you deserve.take care.
Posted by tabitha on December 13, 2003, at 23:23:35
In reply to Does anyone remember me?, posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
Hi Miller. I remember you. Not sure I can offer much comfort. I feel like cr*p right now, too.
Posted by kara lynne on December 13, 2003, at 23:24:46
In reply to Re: Does anyone remember me?, posted by octopusprime on December 13, 2003, at 23:14:13
Oh Miller,
I think about you often. I thought of you today. I'm so happy to see your name here. I wish I could make you feel better in any little way possible. Do you want to talk about why you're sad?I will send you a prayer like so many kind people sent me today.
Posted by Dinah on December 13, 2003, at 23:53:52
In reply to Does anyone remember me?, posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
I am sorry you are sad, but I am sooooo happy to hear from you! I missed your presence here, and your emails.
I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, but a big hug is all I have.
(((((Miller)))))
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2003, at 0:10:00
In reply to Does anyone remember me?, posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
My email address is the same, if you still have it.
Posted by fallsfall on December 14, 2003, at 7:47:04
In reply to Does anyone remember me?, posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
Ice cream always makes me feel better.
Or swinging on the tall swings at the playground.
Or blowing bubbles.
Why are you so sad?
Posted by kara lynne on December 14, 2003, at 13:18:25
In reply to Re: Does anyone remember me? » Miller, posted by fallsfall on December 14, 2003, at 7:47:04
Come back. We want to talk to you.
Posted by Miller on December 14, 2003, at 19:31:29
In reply to Miller, posted by kara lynne on December 14, 2003, at 13:18:25
I have been digging myself into a hole for a very long time now. Has anyone else ever made mistake after mistake until finally there was nothing left? That is what I have done. It is to the point now that I fear I am just about where I was this time last year. If history repeats itself, I will have another stay in a local hospital if I survive. But, it is like one side of me is begging to find a solution while the other side is trying everything it knows how to keep me down.
I can't believe I told my shrink that I no long wanted to correspond. Unfortunately, he took me at my word. Now I don't know how to take it back. There is a huge part of me (pride?) that won;t suck it up and just tell him I need him. I can't just tell him that I am a weak, pathetic creature that needs to be helped. So, I have made it so that I am so alone. Not just alone in the sense that I have to struggle, but alone in the way that is total isolation. I don;t think anyone could survive such isolation. Not when things are so bad inside of my soul.
I am sorry if I am bringing you all down. This is the season, I know, to be thankful for everything we have. And the season to take inventory of our strengths and to surrender ourselves to God for our weaknesses. But I have isolated myself from Him as well.
I feel like you all are the only ones left. And since I have been away for so long, I fear I may have burned this bridge as well.
Thank you all for letting me know that Psycho-everything is still alive and running. It is too bad I didn't follow through with it. I missed out on a really good community.
:( Miller
Posted by Dinah on December 14, 2003, at 20:08:29
In reply to Thank you all so much, posted by Miller on December 14, 2003, at 19:31:29
It never is. I have been thinking fondly of you, and am glad to have you back.
I know you cared so deeply about your therapist. Are you sure things are finished with him? When you're feeling bad, sometimes you see things in their worst possible light.
Can you tell me more about what's going on? Some extra heads might help you figure out if there is more light than you can see from where you're standing.
Please, Miller? Tell me about it?
Posted by zenhussy on December 14, 2003, at 20:11:11
In reply to Thank you all so much, posted by Miller on December 14, 2003, at 19:31:29
>>>I have been digging myself into a hole for a very long time now. Has anyone else ever made mistake after mistake until finally there was nothing left? That is what I have done. It is to the point now that I fear I am just about where I was this time last year. If history repeats itself, I will have another stay in a local hospital if I survive. But, it is like one side of me is begging to find a solution while the other side is trying everything it knows how to keep me down.
The side that is keeping you down is most likely your depression. I'm sorry I don't know your dx so I can't really comment. That is the type of thinking my brain engages in when the depressive spiral takes over.
While I hope you don't repeat last year I do hope that if necessary you will be safe in the hospital. As for the 'if I survive' part....let's make that to when I survive and am surviving! It isn't an easy season for anyone Miller. I can't offer up much more than these words I'm struggling to type here.
>>>I can't believe I told my shrink that I no long wanted to correspond. Unfortunately, he took me at my word. Now I don't know how to take it back. There is a huge part of me (pride?) that won;t suck it up and just tell him I need him. I can't just tell him that I am a weak, pathetic creature that needs to be helped. So, I have made it so that I am so alone. Not just alone in the sense that I have to struggle, but alone in the way that is total isolation. I don;t think anyone could survive such isolation. Not when things are so bad inside of my soul.
Your soul is good. The distortion of the disease is causing the thoughts of being weak or pathetic or bad. You are none of those things. You are a person who is fighting valiantly against a miserable foe. It is grueling and takes all that one has.
I understand the pride thing as I dig my heels in quite stubbornly at times, cutting off my nose in spite of my face to do so.... Contacting your doctor is not a sign of weakness. If anything it shows that you are aware of your illness and that you need help. A one person unit you are not dear Miller. None of us are. That is why most keep returning to babble.
>>>I am sorry if I am bringing you all down. This is the season, I know, to be thankful for everything we have. And the season to take inventory of our strengths and to surrender ourselves to God for our weaknesses. But I have isolated myself from Him as well.
Hell we're already down so you're not being a wet blanket at all. I DO NOT think this is the season for inventory or introspection. I DO THINK this is the season to be extra gentle to oneself and recognize just how difficult a time all of us are having. You're not alone in your feelings and actions of isolation. And you are not so far removed that any bridges are burned. Many, many choices are available to you and there are people here willing to back you up with support in any of those choices you make.
I can't really get into the religious discussion as it isn't my forte but I can tell you that *the spirt that I understand*(zenhussy's personal idea of a greater being---no insult meant to believers of any other faiths) to be out there is one that ALWAYS has open arms for any of his/her children to return to.
>>>I feel like you all are the only ones left. And since I have been away for so long, I fear I may have burned this bridge as well.
Unless you spammed everyone and hijacked every thread (which you haven't obviously) I don't think there are any burned bridges here.
>>>Thank you all for letting me know that Psycho-everything is still alive and running. It is too bad I didn't follow through with it. I missed out on a really good community.
If you are posting here then you are part of the community. This is a community of people dealing with mental illness and medications. We're a strange bunch with our ups and downs, ins and outs, hither and yons. Nobody is thinking you're any less of a member for time away. You did what you needed to do. Now you're back. People are welcoming you back. Please return any time as you are most loved it appears.
>>> :( Miller
((((((Miller))))))))
Take care,
zenhussy
Posted by tabitha on December 14, 2003, at 21:49:28
In reply to a really good community » Miller, posted by zenhussy on December 14, 2003, at 20:11:11
> I DO NOT think this is the season for inventory or introspection. I DO THINK this is the season to be extra gentle to oneself and recognize just how difficult a time all of us are having.
That's so true. Perhaps I could put a moratorium on all self-evaluation thoughts from November thru February. Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by slinky on December 15, 2003, at 0:48:13
In reply to Thank you all so much, posted by Miller on December 14, 2003, at 19:31:29
Hi Miller..
Sorry you're feeling sad.
Gather them little crumbs (hope you know what I mean)
Posted by jane d on December 15, 2003, at 0:52:16
In reply to Thank you all so much, posted by Miller on December 14, 2003, at 19:31:29
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 15, 2003, at 12:16:29
In reply to Thank you all so much, posted by Miller on December 14, 2003, at 19:31:29
j,,
you have not burned anything here,,
this is a fine bunch of caring people who would never turn you away,,,
if you feel we are all you have left..embrace for others have nothing..
i am sorry to hear you feel so alone,,,
my teleported is on the fritzt again so i will drag out the old government issued rocket back pack and be there in 20....
j
Posted by shar on December 15, 2003, at 15:40:33
In reply to Thank you all so much, posted by Miller on December 14, 2003, at 19:31:29
I think it is very hard to burn this bridge!! So many of us have come and gone, for varying lengths of time, we understand the phenomenon!
Keep talking, I would encourage you to do that, there are obviously people here who do care! And, as for being a downer....pshaw! Aren't we all at one time or another? I sure have done my share of talking about how low I feel, and when other people talk about it I feel less like a freak, and don't find it at all contagious!
Anyhow, welcome, and I hope you'll post again.
Shar
P.S. I have to admit it is possible to burn a bridge here, but it takes a *whole lot* more to do it than would probably ever occur to you to do.
Posted by yesac on December 15, 2003, at 16:03:55
In reply to Does anyone remember me?, posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
Welcome back, Miller. Sorry that you are feeling so bad. I am not around here much anymore either, but I definitely remember you!
Posted by Emme on December 15, 2003, at 21:33:50
In reply to Does anyone remember me?, posted by Miller on December 13, 2003, at 23:04:44
I remember you! It's nice to see your name again. I'm sorry you are feeling sad and I do hope you'll treat yourself very gently.
I wish I could write lots of great stuff to help you feel better. One thing rang a bell for me. I sympathize with your feeling of self-imposed isolation from your therapist. For a few weeks I had thoroughly convinced myself that I had been so difficult to deal with that my therapist wouldn't want to see me anymore, and so I wasn't going to schedule any appointments with her. Well, it wasn't true - it was a product of my stressed mind - and we're back to normal. I think if you told your therapist that you want to resume things, he/she would take it in stride and wouldn't think any less of you. Don't cut yourself off from a needed source of help, especially at a time of year when you feel vulnerable.
Oh, and there ain't no burned bridges here either! People come and go as they need to. You can always write here for help and feedback and just good old venting. You always seemed awfully nice. It's good you came back.
I hope your Tuesday is okay.
Emme
Posted by fallsfall on December 15, 2003, at 22:22:31
In reply to Re: Does anyone remember me?, posted by yesac on December 15, 2003, at 16:03:55
This is the end of the thread.
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