Psycho-Babble Social Thread 286856

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I like my professor... uh oh

Posted by Civ on December 5, 2003, at 14:05:51

I'm a 21 year old male college student. My female professor is a 27 year old PhD in her first semester of teaching at our school. She's far away from her family and friends. For whatever reason, I really started getting into her a few weeks after the semester began. I'm a pretty intellectual type and I think she quickly noticed that I was a different sort of student. She took a liking to me too. We have exchanged e-mails and she's always paid "extra" attention to me in class. I met with her yesterday in her office and she was acting flirty: playing with her hair, coyly smiling, etc. I don't know what's going on here. This semester's class just ended, but I'm involved in an organization that she's heading and I registered to take two classes with her next semester. I don't know if I can handle it. This is crazy to me. I'm surrouned by incredibly beautiful girls my own age on campus and the only one person I'm interested in is my professor. Huh? This is extremely awkward. I mean, she can't *really* be interested in me too, can she? She's a different type herself being so young, but she has to know that students are off-limits. I am probably just misinterpreting everything. Still, this has really racked my brain for the last few months.

Any thoughts?

 

Re: I like my professor... uh oh

Posted by blink23 on December 5, 2003, at 14:48:53

In reply to I like my professor... uh oh, posted by Civ on December 5, 2003, at 14:05:51

Naughty Naughty....They Say You always want what you cant have...have you ever heard the expression. LOL.. I bet she is attracted to you and that you are really good looking. ButIf she was serious about her career she would know that students are OFF limits..

Blink

 

Re: I like my professor... uh oh

Posted by Karen_kay on December 5, 2003, at 18:43:15

In reply to Re: I like my professor... uh oh, posted by blink23 on December 5, 2003, at 14:48:53

Hmmm. I've never hesitated to flirt with my prof's. I mean, why not? What's the harm in flirting? But, I tend to go for older men because "I'm looking for a daddy, blah......" according to my therapist. Anyway, why not flirt? What would happen to you if you got involved? Could you be reprimanded? Most likely nothing will happen but if it does it could be fun, if you can keep a secret!

 

Re: I like my professor... uh oh » Civ

Posted by fallsfall on December 5, 2003, at 21:57:22

In reply to I like my professor... uh oh, posted by Civ on December 5, 2003, at 14:05:51

It would be a mess for both of you if you were interested in each other. Try to keep your mind on your studies and know that some people are off limits. That doesn't mean you can't admire and like them - it just means you have to limit your relationship to one that is appropriate.

 

Re: I like my professor... uh oh

Posted by Psychopoppy on December 6, 2003, at 4:24:58

In reply to Re: I like my professor... uh oh » Civ, posted by fallsfall on December 5, 2003, at 21:57:22


Hey.... both of y'all are adults ! You can do whatever you want. Technically she's not a prof if she's still in PhD. So that means she's still a student too. She's just filling some prof's shoes and doing him/her a favor by teaching the courses. If you're taking her courses just to be close to her, I say dump the courses and go for her directly. Then there's no conflict whatsoever. If you really want the courses then you'll just have to wait another semester and once she's not grading you anymore....its all fair game !
To hell with the world.... follow your heart !

Hope it works out well for you either way.

;-)

 

Re: I like my professor... uh oh » Civ

Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 6, 2003, at 22:23:05

In reply to I like my professor... uh oh, posted by Civ on December 5, 2003, at 14:05:51

Civ,
Being interested in someone is not a bad thing at all. The difficulty comes when interest becomes action.
Teachers in primary, and High School, are usually required to take a number of courses in which they learn proper boundaries. A teacher is in a position of authority over her/his students. If romantic feelings are allowed to germinate, then the teacher has taken advantage over her/his students. The teacher could be disciplined because of this.
In college, a professor may not have any formal training in teaching. She may or may not understand these boundaries. I would expect that each institution would have it's own rules regarding romantic relationships between faculty and students.
I cannot be certain, but I would expect that the relationship you describe may not be permitted by your school. I might also think that the relationship is the best thing for you right now. Academically, I do not see how pursuing a relationship with an instructor can be good for your coursework. How do you remember the course material while you are concentrating on the instructor?
Likewise, how can she maintain a clear mind while teaching, and at the same time ogling a student. Furthermore, other students may pick up on the non-verbal communication.
I think, that if it were me, I would rather play safe than sorry. There will come a time when you have graduated, and then you both will be free to mingle without it having to affect her teaching or your learning. You are not really that far apart in age. I have an uncle and aunt who are eight years apart.
I'm sorry if I sound preachy. I really do care.
Dee.


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